Immigrant Mexican labor has all but disappeared from the Alabama landscape and the state has lost $10.8 billion in rotting crops and revenue.
Lawmakers desperate for solutions hope the Canuck Program will resuscitate the Yellowhammer State’s ignorant and bigoted economy.
The Canuck Program, or CP, would allow Alabama farmers to employ Canadian nationals as farm workers. Legislators have discussed different methods to attract Canadian labor — paying wages in maple syrup, back bacon or Molson beer. Other ideas include building hockey rinks and leaving the lights on.
No stranger to controversy, Gov. Robert J. Bentley says “creative tactics” could be used in order to attract undocumented Canadians to the state.
“Now that the Mexicans are gone, we’re not above getting creative here. Without revealing too much detail, I’m envisioning boatloads of Canuckians arriving on our plantati– ahem, excuse me, on our *farms* to help fill these jobs. These snow-backs would be taking jobs scorned by most Alabamians, and I’m pretty sure most of them boys are white. That’s a big plus here,” Bentley told PNS.
Republican lawmakers who support the initiative say it will help fill jobs none of them are willing to do and also help revitalize industries killed off by the Civil War. The program would also allow for undocumented Canadians to congregate in front of hardware stores so that businesses could pick them up as needed.
Wendy Bucktooth, spokeswoman for the Alabama-based No Mexicans in Alabama Solution (NOMAS) has described the CP program as “a humdinger” and told PNS she is sympathetic toward its goals.
“The key here is, these people are white, okay? Dang, Alabama has changed a lot since Lincoln ruined every-thang. We are not against using slav…excuse me, immigrant labor but if they’re white AND speak English? Hell, we may never let ‘em go!” Bucktooh said.
S. J. Rivera is an Indie Publisher/Author @ Broken Sword Publications
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