Especial Correspondents

trumpheadroomAfter POCHO’s Dennis Wilen AKA Comic Saenz finally came clean about his history with UPenn classmate Donald Trump, we’ve learned more about the events that turned a Child of the 60s into the bitter meng he is today.

Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Reasons Child of the 60s The Donald is so Donald:

8. Still heartbroken and resentful after the end of a passionate love affair with UPenn boyfriend, Afro-Mexican exchange student Mumia Abu-Fuentes.

7. Childhood backyard “fort” overrun by kids playing “Viet Cong.”

6. Kicked out of Wharton School MEChA for attempted “firing” of Cesar Chavez. [Mas…]

elchapomugshotThe daring prison escape of Mexican drug lord El Chapo Guzman Saturday has raised many questions. Why Saturday? Who dug the tunnel? How did they do it? How did they hide?

Here are Pocho Ocho Most Amazing Facts Behind El Chapo’s Escape we’ve unearthed so far:

8. Shoutout to Uber de Mexico for the fast pickup!

7. Strategic rest areas every 200 meters stocked with Red Bull and Takis

6. Extra guys at Home Depot got lucky that day [Mas…]

taxtherichDear Ex-local artist, writer, activist, bohemian, street eccentric, and/or protector of difference…

Imagine a city, your city and your former “hip” neighborhood, being handed over by greedy politicians and re/developers to the crème de la crème of the tech industry. This includes the 7 most powerful tech companies in the world. I don’t need to list them: their names have become verbs in lingua franca; their sandbox is the city you used to call your own. [Mas…]

tallcosby(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Bill Cosby disagrees with Donald Trump’s calling Mexican immigrants rapists.

“I know immigrants, and I know rapists. And believe me, Mr. Trump, immigrants are not rapists,” read a statement released here this morning by Cosby attorney Alberto Gordo.

“Hey hey hey!” the lawyer added.

Cosby photograph by El Rey Del Art.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

panzonI was born and raised in El Paso in an area known as The Second Ward because of its political designation in city government.

In the greater community, it was most popularly called South El Paso. However, the approximately 25,000 mostly Chicano people who lived there referred to the neighborhood as El Segundo Barrio. It was a barrio that was like an island sandwiched between the Rio Grande Mexican border and downtown El Paso.

In this isolated area, about a third of the families were of second or third generation Mexican descent like ours. Another third was made up of mostly migrant newer arrivals and the rest were in transition. However, it was the Spanish language that served to unite the whole community. Although Spanish was prevalent, lots of exposure to English came through, school, work, movies, radio, music and TV, which was then in its infancy.

Although I love that I am bilingual, I was recently reminded that I am, in fact, trilingual. You see, this third language was unique to our Segundo Barrio culture because it originated there. It started as the jargon for the criminal element in our midst. These outlaws were widely know as “pachucos” because of the Los Angeles bent to their style of clothes. Most of us called them Tirilis and for all intents, they were the precursors of today’s gang members. [Mas…]


Because he wants to make America great again, GOP presidential nominee wannabe Donald Trump shared some nasty knowledge about Mexican immigrants when he announced his candidacy Tuesday (video).

trumpovercombThey’re rapists, he said, and bring crime and drugs.

But that’s not all! Here are are Pocho Ocho top things Donald Trump also wants you to know about Mexicans:

8. If you rub a Mexican’s tummy just the right way, they’ll wiggle they brown little arms and legs and say “Squee squee squee” but in Mexican of course.

7. Mexican show business is infested with thesbians.

6. Mexicans are so crazy lazy they will take your job. [Mas…]

saddarensq(PNS reporting from MILWAUKEE) Local cat made good Daren the Lion, long-time spokescritter for the D.A.R.E. anti-drug education program, has resigned and moved to Colorado, PNS learned Monday.

“He’s fallen off the catnip wagon,” one area family member told PNS. “He’s all about the ‘flowers’ now.” [Mas…]


(SAN SALVADOR) The beatification celebration for Monsignor Oscar Arnulfo Romero is building up momentum, playing Sombrero Azul, the national anthem of the revolutionary left during the bloody barbaric civil war that laid the cultural, economic and political foundation for the current gang — government violence in this pueblo muy sufrido.

They listen to the lyrics:

y que venga la alegría
a lavar el sufrimiento
y que venga la alegría
a lavar el sufrimiento
(and may happinesss come)
to wash away the suffering)

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho top premiums for donors to $heriff Joe’s KickStarter

by Especial Correspondents May 27, 2015 El Now

Maricopa County Arizona $heriff Joe Arpaio is in big legal trouble and is asking supporters to help. Arpaio said he doesn’t have the money for attorneys, adding that he feels “targeted” by the immigration rights groups that have sued him to stop what they say are racist policies targeting Latinos, according to the Los Angeles […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho changes to expect after Indios + Chinos > Mexicanos

by Especial Correspondents May 12, 2015 El Now
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China and India now top Mexico as leading sources of new immigrants to the United Estates, new data reveals. What are the Pocho Ocho top changes we can expect from these evolving patterns in immigration? 8. Indian actors will replace Puerto Ricans playing Mexicans on TV 7. San Jose, California will be known as Sanjay, California 6. […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho Important Facts for Mexicans about El Ocho de Mayo

by Especial Correspondents May 8, 2015 Cultura
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Our Mexican friends have many misconceptions about today’s American celebration of El Ocho de Mayo. It is NOT the day the British burned the White House, for example, and it is NOT the day Gerry Rivers became Geraldo Rivera. Help a hermano out with the Pocho Ocho Top Facts Mexicans Should Know about El Ocho […]

[Mas…]

Hey you! Put down that phone! aka 低头人生 [video]

by Especial Correspondents April 21, 2015 Cartoons
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《低头人生》 Posted by 李金雄 on Sunday, April 19, 2015 The video is from China — the message is universal.

[Mas…]

Mexclusive: Beware the New World Order Deadly Space Termites

by Especial Correspondents April 13, 2015 Cultura
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LiveLeak’s Jeffrey Barber has some serious warnings for you guys so listen up, K? The pulsating you can see on this desk are YOYO NIOPION. These are extraterrestrial termites. They voraciously consumer not only wood, but everything. I mean EVERYTHING! but stone. They eat glass, steel, aluminum, plastic, wood, but most of all, they like, […]

[Mas…]

God, Guns and The Man: The Bill of Rights in One Syllable Words

by STEPHANIE VARDAVAS April 9, 2015 Cultura
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I No law can say you can’t pray the way you want to, or make you pray if you don’t want to, or take your tax and give it to a guy who’ll use it to pray or preach on God, and no law can say you can’t say what you want to say, or […]

[Mas…]

Why advertising to Hispanics sucks balls* [Updated]

by BERNADETTE RIVERO April 6, 2015 Cultura
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Technically, the word I should have used above, in the headline, is “Manipulates.” As in, “Safely Manipulate Your Balls When You Celebrate!” That’s what the Federal Drug Administration advises this season, anyway. (Screen capture, above.) But I’m a writer who has spent a lifetime in both advertising and journalism, and I know the value of […]

[Mas…]

GOP presidential wannabe Saint Ted Cruz is on fire (photo)

by Especial Correspondents March 31, 2015 El Now
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Hail, Senator, full of crap. Special art thou among pendejos. Photo via imgur.

[Mas…]

Yo, New Yorkers! Don’t buy any gun, buy a ‘Gun With History’ (video)

by JOHN WILKES LEE HARVEY HUCKABEE March 19, 2015 Cultura
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There’s a new gun shop open in Manhattan where you don’t have to just settle for a newbie, inexperienced lethal weapon. The guns on sale here have a history!

[Mas…]

When you search DamnYouAutoCorrect for ‘Mexican’ (photos)

by Especial Correspondents March 11, 2015 Cultura
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[Mas…]

Diamondbacks’ Pocho Ocho top dessert concepts before the Churro Dog

by Especial Correspondents March 6, 2015 Cultura
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Yes, they actually went there. Look for a new dessert this season at Chase Field in Phoenix as the National League Arizona Diamondbacks present the “Churro Dog.” Thankfully, no dogs were harmed in the making of this gut-busting, grand-standing heart-stopping dessert. WTF is a Churro Dog, exactly? ESPN has the story: The Churro Dog is […]

[Mas…]

Gay couple vs door-to-door missionary in ‘Knock Knock’ (video)

by AL YUNID February 27, 2015 Cultura
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Knock Knock. All the Christian missionary at the front door wants to know is if they have a few minutes to talk about “Our Lord and Savior.” Knock Knock.  But no one ever expects the lesbian inquisition. Video by German Torres. [NSFW language.]

[Mas…]

POCHO Poetry Corner: Chicano Love and Barrio Streets

by FRANK SOLIS February 27, 2015 El Now
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A rose grows among the cracked sidewalks, of the tear stained barrio streets, where happiness is a luxury and can easily be lost forever. While deep in their thoughts a young Chicano couple are falling in love. A painting of the Virgin looks down upon streets which are so far from heaven, yet not so […]

[Mas…]

Disneyland preps new WE ❤️ MEASLES marketing push

by PEDO MAUS February 23, 2015 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from ANAHEIM) Disneyland’s new WE ❤️ MEASLES marketing campaign intends to “pro-actively go where the customers are” by turning “lemons into lemonade,” PNS has learned.

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho top reasons not to watch the Oscars

by Especial Correspondents February 20, 2015 Cultura
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Lot of pochos we know are insisting they won’t watch Sunday’s telecast of the Academy Awards. The big reason, of course, is Hollywood’s apparent inability to find roles for Latin@s other than maid or gangster (see infographic below). But that’s not all! Here are the Pocho Ocho Top reasons they’re boycotting the Oscars: 8. Reading […]

[Mas…]

Watch: Presidents Day? Thanks, Obama :-(

by Especial Correspondents February 16, 2015 Cultura
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[Mas…]