It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPad Pro — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to survive Black Friday:
8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.
7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.
6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight little-known factoids right here:
8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Chipotle Mexican Grill [Mas…]
After the Border Patrol at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) confiscated and incinerated 450 “illegal tamales” flown in from Mexico (photo), we asked tamale experts how law-abiding citizens could determine if their tamales were also illegal.
After all, when tamales are illegal, only illegals will have tamales. Here are the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Tell If Your Tamales Are illegal:
8. The tamales “accidentally” turned off their body-cams
7. Fake Syrian passports
6. Hipsters keep asking you where you got them [Mas…]
Bacon is makin’ news because a questionably-reported study says the hot and salty candy can cause cancer – or not. They say we had to ditch the bacon, but we said, “No! No! No!”
That’s because there are Pocho Ocho Top Things You Can Eat That Are Way Worse Than Bacon:
8. Bush™ special frijoles — THE BROWN ONES™ — now with 25% more nepotism! [Editor’s Note: Our sources tell us this product may not be on the market much longer. Choose wisely.]
7. Uncle Ben Carson’s Tacos de Seso
6. Ferguson’s Gelato – You’ll be screaming, “Hands up! Don’t scoop!” [Mas…]
West Los Angeles supermarket Bristol Farms (formerly the Westwood Ho) has a good idea for those trying to figure out who they’ll be this Halloween.
It’s dry in Mexico, too, but it’s not all bad. Low waters in a Chipas reservoir have revealed a sunken treasure. Discovery.com reports: [Mas…]
Don’t you just love being awakened at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning with a knock on the door from your cheerful neighborhood congregation?
If you are from the southeast Los Angeles area that might have been me (dispensa for the madrugada). One thing I’ve learned is that faith, politics and culture are intrinsically woven together for many of us.
If the Jesus of the Bible were among us today, I would what He would think of the ‘MURICA! version of His teachings, and I’d like to ask Him a simple question, “Who would You deport”? [Mas…]
Nothing like a cool refreshing cerveza on a hot dusty desert day. El Mexican gets all that, and more.