Especial Correspondents

larazatshirtLove is in the air for Valentine’s Day, along with cries for immigration reform, equal economic opportunity and an end to pervasive systemic racism.

Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho, Chicano, Chicana, Chican@ and/or Latinx to get lucky AND make the world a better place?

Yes, there is, in our list of the Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines you can use this Valentine’s Day:

8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Friday night — what do you think — 8-ish?

7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?

6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? [Mas…]

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trumpshairForgive me for the very long message, but oh, you did allow me a lot of room.

Saw the little cartoon you burritos did calling Trump a nazi. All the rubbish aside, it isn't even slightly funny, or amusing, or witty. Just on the strength of the cartoon, you're obviously idiots. But you're also crackpots, and slanderers. And you're really inane and trite too, since it takes about one brain cell to quack that someone's a nazi, and people do it so often, being idiots like yourselves, that it's so unbelievably unoriginal, and pathetic. But that aside, you would have to be absolute scum to call someone a nazi as an insult. Especially someone who has a Jewish daughter. i mean you'd have to be an imbecile, and someone without shame, but also a real scumbag. And your loathsome, cretinous insults are one thing, but it is slander. Slander unless you can prove it. Now if you're going to call someone a nazi, then prove it - because that's what people with some sense of honor do when they make a serious and profoundly negative accusation against someone, they prove it (or they withdraw it). [Mas…]


What can we learn from the Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) victory Monday in the Iowa GOP caucuses? It’s time to support CANADIANS FOR PRESIDENT! [NSFW video, one F-bomb.]

And what else? How about the Pocho Ocho Top Lessons We Learned from the Iowa GOP Caucuses:

8. He who smelt it, dealt it.

7. If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry caucus.

6. I know you are, but what am I? [Mas…]

sheriffjoetrumpArizona’s notorious Sheriff Joe Arpaio — racist, birther, and pendejo — is set to endorse racist, birther, and pendejo Donald Trump in the Iowa GOP caucuses, according to The New York Times.

Our Especial Correspondents have been on the phone with sources in Arizona, Iowa and New York probing the thinking behind this decision and we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho Top Reasons Sheriff Joe Arpaio Will Endorse Donald Trump:

8. Pigs of a feather oink together

7. New York values

6. Spawned in the U.S.A. [Mas…]

newboss

farewellI always said I wouldn’t grow up to be like my mother.

When I saw her, I saw a woman who wouldn’t leave her husband. A woman who didn’t put her children first.

I grew angry that my father’s temper prevented me from having teenage sleepovers. I grew resentful that they wouldn’t let me go to my high school football games. And I grew bitter as I got older, because she chose not to leave him. [Mas…]

palintrumpDear Mama Grizzly:

Tonight will be like no other. Tonight, The Donald welcomes you into his Trump Towers penthouse. This is a place you have been before, but those nights have been for seduction and romance. Tonight is different. Tonight is about love.

Tonight, you will be my everything. [Mas…]

Pocho Ocho top changes to expect now that Univision owns The Onion

by Especial Correspondents January 19, 2016 Cultura
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Now that UNIVISION has become a part owner of The Onion, our media analysts have compiled the Pocho Ocho top changes you can expect from the new corporation: 8. Daily stories tagged #TelemundoFail 7. Don Francisco’s triumphant return to TV as Area Man 6. Univision closes failing millennial-oriented website The Cilantro

[Mas…]

Too cool! Los Angeles 2016 No Pants Subway Ride (photos,video)

by Especial Correspondents January 12, 2016 Cultura
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A Floridian transplanted to Los Angeles, Te-Erika Patterson video’d Sunday’s No Pants Subway Ride — it was her third year stripping down and riding the rails for fun. If you think this is for you, check out her MovingToLAToday.com blog. Videographer and photographer Dan “The Steel Shark” Cooke also braved the chilly 50° L.A. weather […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho top ways El Chapo could escape again

by Especial Correspondents January 8, 2016 El Now
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Mexico has recaptured fugitive drug cartel jefe El Chapo Guzman –– who notoriously tunneled out of a high security prison last summer –- but the criminal mastermind isn’t done yet. Sources tell our correspondents that Guzman’s narcotrafficante associates are already working on plans to bust the gangster out of his next cellblock; we’ve compiled this […]

[Mas…]

Cholo Electronics Show CES 2016 spotlights latest in High Aztech

by Especial Correspondents January 6, 2016 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from LAS VEGAS) The very latest in High Aztech is on display at the fifth annual Cholo Electronics Show (CES) opening here today. Generating the biggest buzz is the new “freemium” app Chologram™ from Oakland’s Firme Junior Systems. The free at first Instagram challenger showcases La Vida Loca Lifestyle® image effects, including the one-tap application of teardrop tattoos to a facial image. The […]

[Mas…]

What the past can teach immigrant advocates of today

by NANCY LANDA January 4, 2016 El Now

[POCHO amiga Nancy Landa aka Mundo Citizen was a DREAMer before it was cool. Brought to the U.S. as an undocumented child, she was elected student body president at Cal State Northridge. And then she got deported.] In paying my respects to those who came before me and their struggle due to their legal status, […]

[Mas…]

Year-End Roundup 2015: POCHO’s Top Five Most Popular Posts

by Especial Correspondents December 31, 2015 El Now
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We cranked up the old stats machine to find out the 2015 stories you liked the most and copied and pasted them into this post here. Some of these stories are News and others are Ñews. We post, you decide.

[Mas…]

These are our Pocho Ocho Top New Year’s Resolutions for 2016

by Especial Correspondents December 30, 2015 Cultura
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We asked the POCHO posse – Los Pochodores – to share their New Year’s Resolutions for 2015. After the responses came in, we picked the best answers, and then carefully removed all the information that could personally identify the authors because El Cucuy. And so we present Los Pochodores’ Pocho Ocho Top New Year Revolutions: […]

[Mas…]

POCHOS! IN! SPACE! ‘All My Friends Love the Low Vader’ y mas

by OBI JUAN ELOTE December 17, 2015 Cartoons
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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz brought Star Wars into the La Cucaracha universe. And The Force was with him, and with you.

[Mas…]

NSFW Video: Best of News Bloopers for 2015

by Especial Correspondents December 15, 2015 El Now
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Oh no you didn’t!

[Mas…]

Mexican artist melts 1,527 guns, makes shovels to plant trees

by Amanda Froelich December 11, 2015 Cultura

In Culiacán, Mexico, the city with the highest rate of gun deaths in the nation, many people know the devastating consequences of guns. That’s where creative activist Pedro Reyes comes in.

[Mas…]

Brooklyn’s Mexican Israelite kids meet a local rabbi (audio)

by SOY VEY December 7, 2015 Audio
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Cute, curious kids at the Mexican Israelite Church of God in Brooklyn have many questions about their neighbors –– mysterious Hasidic Jews. Example: What is the deal with those big fur hats? Debbie Nathan reports for LatinoUSA:

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho top tips for surviving Black Friday 2015

by Especial Correspondents November 27, 2015 Cultura
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It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPad Pro — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to survive Black Friday: 8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3. 7. Shoppers who carry their own […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho amazing little-known first Thanksgiving factoids

by Especial Correspondents November 26, 2015 Cultura
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See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight little-known factoids right here: 8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date 7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly 6. […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho best ways to tell if your tamales are illegal

by Especial Correspondents November 19, 2015 Cultura
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After the Border Patrol at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) confiscated and incinerated 450 “illegal tamales” flown in from Mexico (photo), we asked tamale experts how law-abiding citizens could determine if their tamales were also illegal. After all, when tamales are illegal, only illegals will have tamales. Here are the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho things to eat that are way worse for you than bacon

by Especial Correspondents October 29, 2015 Cultura
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Bacon is makin’ news because a questionably-reported study says the hot and salty candy can cause cancer – or not. They say we had to ditch the bacon, but we said, “No! No! No!” That’s because there are Pocho Ocho Top Things You Can Eat That Are Way Worse Than Bacon: 8. Bush™  special frijoles — THE […]

[Mas…]

No Halloween costume yet? Here’s a good idea! (photo)

by EVE CANYON, FACEBOOK AUTHORITY October 22, 2015 Cultura
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West Los Angeles supermarket Bristol Farms (formerly the Westwood Ho) has a good idea for those trying to figure out who they’ll be this Halloween.

[Mas…]