EresNerd

(PNS reporting from  SAN MARCOS, TX) Seventeen-year-old San Marcos High School senior Byron Chavez called someone’s mother a “wetback” in a comment on a Facebook photo yesterday — Mothers Day.

Chavez, the grandson of Mexican immigrants, used the W-word in response to a widely-circulated picture of a young woman at an immigration reform rally holding a sign reading “Fuck Weed. Legalize My Mom.”

Chavez posted “Fuck your wetback mom! Legalize Weed!” 30 minutes after his cousin Lauren Saucedo posted the image on her timeline .

“I was taken aback by his comment,”  Saucedo emailed PNS. “Our grandparents were immigrants who came from Mexico looking for a better future.” [Mas…]

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tortillas on a comal(PNS reporting from Edinburg, TX) A corn tortilla was released from its physical shell and achieved enlightenment last night when it was inadvertently consumed by fire during Gil Trejo’s dinner preparations.

The University of South Texas assistant professor of Latin American literature was heating the traditional Mexican flat bread to accompany leftover frijoles con queso when he became distracted by an intense scene in the sitcom How I Met Your Mother. He sat down in his living room, thoughtlessly leaving the comal unattended.

Alone, on the flat metal griddle, the tortilla de maiz burst into flames, releasing its essence from saṃsāra and leaving behind naught but the charred husk of its temporary shell. [Mas…]

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(PNS reporting from TEXAS) Tejanos want singer Freddy Fender’s wig back.

The Música Committee of the Narciso Martinez Cultural Arts Center in San Benito last week demanded the British Museum effect “the immediate return of this important Tejano cultural item.”

The salt-and-pepper Afro-style toupee, called “Freddy’s Fro,” disappeared from the singer’s home shortly after his death in 2006 and reappeared this winter in the Museum’s “Ethnic Minorities in the United States” exhibit on a mannequin of the singer, best known for his 1970s’ hit Wasted Days and Wasted Nights. [Mas…]

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The “Gang of Eight” immigration reform plan revealed yesterday mandates a Border Patrol Agent Clone Army, according to details released by Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL.)

“Two hundred thousand clones are immediately available for deployment on the border” when the bill passes, a jubilant Rubio said at a Capitol Hill press conference this morning. “The minute Obama signs the bill, we’ll send in the clones!” [Mas…]

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PNS*Hot*Flash: Sheriff Joe ‘damn sure’ Pope Francis is Latino

by EresNerd March 28, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) The media may question the newly-elected pontiff’s ethnicity, but Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio firmly believes that Pope Francis is Latino. “His real name is Jorge and he speaks Spanish. I’m damn sure he is a Latino; he’s probably a Mexican, ” Arpaio told the monthly breakfast meeting of the Sons of the Arizona [...]

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PNS*Hot*Flash: Yucatán prays for Russia after meteor

by EresNerd February 15, 2013 Doomsday Countdown
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(PNS reporting from MEXICO) This just in: The Yucatán Peninsula is sending thoughts and prayers to the people of the Ural Mountains of Russia impacted by today’s meteorite. “Sixty-six million years ago, one of those pinche asteroids hit me and killed my dinosaurs,” Yucatan told reporters at a hastily-called press conference.  “I am still upset about [...]

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Master Tang of ‘Kung Pow! Enter the Fist’ for Taco Bell (video)

by EresNerd February 7, 2013 Cultura
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The Land of Kung Pow! is a foreign country — they do things differently there.

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First Native American gun victim pushes for gun control

by EresNerd January 29, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) It took a lot of burning sage, cedar, sweetgrass and tobacco, but Tymangoua, the first Native American murdered by a gun in what is now the United States, delivered a message from the spirit world to Washington: Getting shot and killed sucks! Indigenous Peoples Against Gun Violence (IPAG) introduced Tymangoua [...]

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Arpaio plans massive ‘Operation Rosca’ to find Tres Reyes gang

by EresNerd January 4, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has begun Operation Rosca, a massive sweep designed to cripple the Tres Reyes smuggling cartel — the Three Kings. The cartel smuggles babies in bread and traffics in incense and precious metals, according to “America’s toughest sheriff.” Arapio became aware of the cartel, which “came from the [...]

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When ‘The Hobbit’ took back Aztlán: A Latino nerd reads Tolkien

by EresNerd December 14, 2012 Cultura
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Today the names Smaug and Thorin Oakenshield will enter American pop culture. Dwarves rambling on a reconquista while Gollum plays riddles will reach a new audience because Peter Jackson filmed the nerd classic, The Hobbit — prequel to Lord of the Rings. Film has more impact than the written word in today’s society and this [...]

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