Moctezuma Cortés


What if? [NSFW pinche adult language, guey!]

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Inspired by L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti’s L.A Kings F-bomb on live TV, on-the-air sports presenters in Ireland dropped the bomb during halftime of Tuesday’s Mexico-Brazil match. [NSFW adult language if someone there at your job can understand the thick Irish brogues. It's more like "fookin" or something.]

mynemesisWith work, family and just plain living, it can be real hard to make enemies. Ready and willing to help you with that problem is brand new MyNemesis·com, where someone to hate is only a click away.

Here’s their introductory video: [Mas…]



Mystery of the ages! You won’t believe what this actress and flamenco guitarist said! The one weird phrase that turned a Spanish ingenue into a superstar! I never expected I’d react like this when watching a video from Oprah! When this blonde chica began playing, the audience gasped!

Charo fans: You know you’ve been waiting for this. Was it worth the wait?

The Huffington Post reports: [Mas…]

imminowThese days in Aztlan — and across lots of the United Estates — most immigrants come from Mexico, but it wasn’t always that way. A hundred years ago or so they were from Germany.

The Pew Research Center reports: [Mas…]


On News Channel 8, right before the 5-Day Forecast, there was an impassioned plea for real news. Not that fake news about Miley Cyrus. Or Ñews. Call it an exploration of the through-the-looking-glass world of media making media mocking media, where everything you know is wrong. There’s a signpost up ahead, in the POCHO Zone.

PREVIOUSLY ON TV NEWS: [Mas…]


Who will be the new owner of the L.A. Clippers basketball team when disgraced racist owner Donald Sterling is finally forced out? We sent a camera crew to ask passersby on the streets in Peru.

PREVIOUSLY ON RACISM: [Mas…]

ESPANOL: La India María debe encontrar a toda costa en lo recóndito de una montaña, El Mágico Espejo Negro de Tezcatlipoca, pues el espíritu de su bisabuelo Moctezuma Xocoyotzin así lo ha ordenado para evitar la destrucción de México.

Alonso, un atractivo arqueólogo español, Bianchi, un tramposo busca-tesoros y Brígida Troncoso — una ambiciosa gobernadora, se enteran de la existencia del dichoso Espejo, del misterioso Tesoro de Moctezuma y de la tal María, por lo que todos emprenden una frenética persecución detrás de ella para apoderarse del cristal mágico y del oro.

  ENGLISH: La India María (born María Nicolasa Cruz) must find, at all costs, hidden away in a big mountain, The Magic Black Mirror of Tezcatlipoca. She’s on a mission ordered by the spirit of her great grandfather Moctezuma Xocoyotzin,and she must succeed to stop the destruction of all Mexico.

Alonso, an attractive Spanish architect, Bianchi, a crazy treasure hunter and Brígida Troncoso, an ambitious governor, all find out about the existence of the Mirror, the mysterious Treasure of Moctezuma and María, which is why everyone pursues her to try to take away the magical crystal and gold.

Mexican Mestizo Miracle! Zebra + Donkey = Zonkey (video)

by Moctezuma Cortés April 28, 2014 El Now
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Papa Ignacio is a pygmy albino donkey, Mama Rayas is your regular striped zebra. Ignacio used to sneak over from his farm to Rayas’ place at the zoo for some sexy time, and vice versa. Then nature took over and brought young zonkey Rayas to the zoo in Tamaulipas, MX. It’s a miracle because typically […]

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I got racially profiled for being an Asian (NSFW video)

by Moctezuma Cortés April 25, 2014 Cultura
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It’s hard being an Asian in America, Tony Vinh explains to the crowd at Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, TX. For example, you can get racially profiled and people think you have a small penis. [NSFW adult language.] PREVIOUSLY ON ASIANS:

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Three things we found on Facebook last week (toons)

by Moctezuma Cortés April 21, 2014 Cartoons
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Famed folksinger Janis Ian, burlesque lucha libre icon Lucha LaVoom and actor/director Lisa Rinna shared some collective wisdom on Facebook that we found very helpful. Maybe you will too!

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In Spain, broadband is so broad, zombies come to you (video)

by ROD ESTERLING April 15, 2014 Cultura
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Even though America was the country that invented the Internets, U.S. broadband connectivity lags behind the rest of the world. In Spain, fiber-optic broadband from ONO.es is so broad, zombies come to you. PREVIOUSLY ON SPAIN LOVES ZOMBIES:

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Top 10 things Natives should say to white folks (infographic)

by Moctezuma Cortés April 4, 2014 Cartoons
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Post by Bo Phillips Band.  

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Mexican garbage men perfect low-impact trash collection (video)

by RAY CYCLE April 4, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Trash collectors in the high-technology “Silicon Barrio” here have perfected a new technique for picking up basura that is greener and faster than traditional methods. As this demo video shows, drivers in León never stop and re-start their trucks — which would mean wasted fuel and extra airborne pollution. Instead, […]

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Lucha libre + garage band punk = Grito-Fest 2014 (video)

by EL BONGO March 27, 2014 Cultura
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Looks like hella fun was had by all at Grito-Fest 2014 last Saturday night in Alicante, España. When lucha libre meets punk rock in a night club, what could go wrong? Here’s the video from Matias Alhambra:

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Census Bureau considering new race/ethnicity questions

by Moctezuma Cortés March 25, 2014 El Now
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The tricky choose-your-own race/ethnic questions in the 2010 United States Census didn’t work out as planned. “As many as 6.2% of census respondents selected only “some other race” in the 2010 census (photo, top), the vast majority of whom were Hispanic,” the Pew Research Center reports. The 2010 Census form asked two questions about race […]

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One Canadian’s Opinion: Sen. Ted Cruz for President (video)

by Moctezuma Cortés March 14, 2014 El Now
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Cuban-Canadian-American Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is the best man for the next President of the United States, you Yankee hosers. With Sarah Palin as VP. PREVIOUSLY ON TED CRUZ:

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Brazil team preps for next Winter Olympics (video)

by Moctezuma Cortés March 6, 2014 Cultura
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While the rest of the world focuses on Carnaval in Brazil, and the upcoming World Cup, dedicated Brazilian athletes have begun training for the next Winter Games.

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Happy Black History Month from a white coworker (NSFW video)

by Moctezuma Cortés February 20, 2014 Cultura
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Hey there, African American fellow employee! Your white colleague wants to wish you Happy Black History Month! [NSFW language.]

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Did I ever tell you that I’m half Mexican? (Vine video)

by EDUARDO BURRO February 6, 2014 Cultura
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Brandon Calvillo tells his friend David Lopez that he, Brandon, is half Mexican. Lopez, it seems, is not all that pumped. [Remember, with these Vine videos, you need to hover and click on the top left corner of the graphic to hear the audio.] PREVIOUSLY ON VINE VIDEOS:

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Your skin, your hair — what ARE you, anyhow? (video)

by Moctezuma Cortés January 27, 2014 Cultura
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A spoken word meditation on skin, hair, race, ethnicity, categories and stereotypes from Amani Hayes-Messinger. Since you were asking, she’s from Boston. PREVIOUSLY ON STEREOTYPES:

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Rio de Janeiro: Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening, me

by Moctezuma Cortés January 20, 2014 El Now
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A lightning bolt broke a finger off the right hand of the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro last week. Gizmodo reports:

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One (Delicious) Minute in Mexico [video]

by MOSCA MEXICAN January 13, 2014 Cultura
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The Perennial Plate ate some good food in Mexico and refried it into a beautiful and tempting one-minute video, One Minute in Mexico. The music is Por El Suelo by Olmeca.

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Hermes and the ‘Futurama’ crew wish you a Happy Kwanzaa (video)

by AL IAN December 27, 2013 Cartoons
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Culture, food, history, tradition and humanoids from the future join the Kwanzaa party at Hermes’ house. PREVIOUSLY ON FUTURAMA:

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