María Purísima

shirtmodel(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the history of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!”

“I don’t care what it’s about, yo!” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard grill. “I just always celebrated it with MEChA and at school. Partay!”

Friends and family at the Covarrubias’ weekly carne asada were aghast. Some reconsidered whether they’d be driving back to El Sereno next week, multiple witness reported. [Mas…]

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mexicanswim(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) Julio Reyes wanted a beach body shape this Summer, but after weighing changing his diet, swapping soda for water and committing to a strenuous of weights and cardio, he reconsidered.

“I think I’m just going to wear my t-shirt with my swim trunks this year,” he told PNS. “That way, if my workout regimen doesn’t kick in ‘til later no one will notice.” [Mas…]


World class twerking delights the neighborhood in Asi (This) by Miami-born Dominican Amara La Negra.

sadgirl(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) After careful consideration, local woman Estela Zamora, 28, is aiming to be less ambitious in 2015.

“Turns out the ‘American Dream’ doesn’t mean to aim for the stars, but rather, right under the stars, where it’s safe and there’s more company,” Zamora told PNS Sunday.

“I’m just tired of getting flack for aiming too damn high!” [Mas…]

veggiesdelvillarSo big the plans! Such wow! Much viral with the veggies that talk, or so they thought.

We just found out about this project, which The Federalist explained over the summer:

Businesswoman Clara Del Villar [photo, right] wants to help the GOP. A Dominican-American, Del Villar has watched conservatives and libertarians repeatedly fail to connect with Latinos. She believes it’s time for a more creative approach.

Toward that end, Del Villar has filmed 12 Webisodes of Familia Con Fuego, or Family With Fire, a new pro-free-market telenovela about the Flores family.
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I’m so sick of Christmas and December isn’t even a week old!

Every year it’s the same crap over and over again. I mean, I wasn’t even finished pretending not to eat Halloween candy before people started playing that Christmas music — don’t even get me started on the music! It’s like, let’s take a has-been artist and have them pump out some horrible tripe and force everyone to remember why they became irrelevant in the first place, all the while pretending like we’re enjoying the tunes.

You know, all those songs were written during a time when my grandparents weren’t even allowed to go into certain restaurants. “No Mexicans, No Dogs” is what the door signs used to say. “White Christmas” indeed! [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Sandra Ceballos made a shocking discovery Friday night when she was out with her girlfriends.

The standards she’d been using to find a good husband were, as her friend Jenny put it, “appallingly low.”

Ceballos, whose family is from Mexico, was raised to believe that if a man is not too much of a drunk, works hard, and doesn’t beat you, he’s “good husband material.” [Mas…]

hongkongdemo(PNS reporting from FRESNO) The 16 Cal State Fresno MEChA students who flew to Hong Kong to join the student protest — but were quickly kicked out of the demonstration — returned home late Sunday night.

The students were ejected from Occupy Central after Hong Kong student organizers discovered that the Movimiento Estudiantil Chican@ de Aztlán backed the Chinese Communist government. As the only Reds participating in the protests, their calls for “revolution” differed significantly from the protestors’ demands. [Mas…]

Official spokesman for U.S. Hispanics quits: ‘It’s a bullshit job!’

by María Purísima September 5, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from MIAMI) Gerardo Lamas, the official spokesman for all Hispanics in the United States, resigned Wednesday night. “This is a bullshit job and I’ll never be able to please anybody,” he told PNS in a late-night phone call. “I mean, I’ve been at this for a while, and let me tell you, it hasn’t […]

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Local Chicano decides to start calling himself ‘Hispanic’

by María Purísima August 19, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from IRVINE, CA) Roland Vega, 33, formerly known as “Rolando,” has come to an important moment in his life: He’s transitioned from a “Chicano” to a “Hispanic.” The decision to change the way he self-identifies came as somewhat of a shock to his family and his homeboys, but not necessarily to Vega’s former […]

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Alaskans praise candidate who will save us from illegals with tats

by María Purísima August 15, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from ANCHORAGE, AK) Some they call him Joe, some they call him Doh! but one group of Alaska voters is 100% behind Joe Miller, the Tea Party-affiliated candidate who is seeking a United States Senate nomination. “His campaign mailer (click on photo to enlarge) convinced us that Miller will do a great job […]

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Cops out of control kill Eric Garner in NYC, Mike Brown in MO (videos)

by POCHOS CON ACTITUD August 13, 2014 Cultura
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#RIPMikeBrown #RIPEricGarner & to all boys/men of color who've lost their lives to ignorance, hate & injustice. pic.twitter.com/GlimbBMhT0 — Veronica Rodriguez (@LaresNYC) August 13, 2014

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It’s the latest, it’s the greatest: Coloring book for grownups (toons)

by HABLO PICASSO August 8, 2014 Cartoons
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Watch this Pakistani man make mega tortillas de harina

by JEFE BOYARDEE August 7, 2014 Cultura
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Actually, they call this flatbread “roti” or “chapati” in Pakistan and India but they’re all tortillas to me. Note: Totally tubular comal! BIG LIST O’ FLATBREADS OF THE WORLD:

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Just 8% of SF/fantasy stars are pochos but Zoe Saldaña will save us

by María Purísima August 4, 2014 Cultura
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Almost no science fiction and fantasy movies feature protagonists of color — not to mention women of color — but thankfully we have Zoe Saldaña! Check out this study and awful infographic from Lee & Low Books:

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Happy Mexican Dancing Horse Day! (videos)

by María Purísima July 30, 2014 Cultura
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Post by Pal Feis Tucson.   OK, we made up Mexican Dancing Horse Day, but we think there should be holiday like that, with Banda music and all the oats you can eat! Above is a brand-new dancing horse video, and here’s a classic dancing horse FAIL video:

[Mas…]

Is that prickly in your pocket or are just happy to see me? (photo)

by María Purísima July 10, 2014 Cultura
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Zombies in the Hood, A True Story (video)

by BLOOD IN-N-OUT July 9, 2014 Cultura
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Sometimes you feel like a zombie, sometimes you need to just pop a cap on his pinche butt. Especially when they sing and dance! [SFW but gangs, guns, gore.] PREVIOUSLY ON ZOMBIES:

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Video: Guy dresses as banana, hires mariachis, quits job

by María Purísima June 4, 2014 Cultura
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If you’re gonna quit your shitty insurance company job, why not make it a fiesta? All you need is a banana suit and some mariachis…. PREVIOUSLY ON MARIACHIS:

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Shock confession! Local man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is about

by María Purísima May 5, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the meaning of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!” “I don’t care what it’s about,” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard […]

[Mas…]

Popular Kids: It doesn’t get any better (video)

by María Purísima February 23, 2014 Cultura
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A special PSA for popular high school kids who are on top of the world: enjoy it, because it won’t last. It doesn’t get better. Take note, be warned and good luck!

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Pocho Ocho most annoying selfies

by María Purísima & Nancy Marie Arteaga February 23, 2014 El Now
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Selfies are fun, but we all hate them anyway. It’s hard to understand, but we wanted to compile a list so we were all on the same page. 8. The “It’s that time of the month” selfie featuring sanitary napkins or tampons, either used or not, and/or a sad face. 7. The “I’m in the bathroom […]

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Mariachis do Avicii’s ‘Wake Me Up’ (video)

by María Purísima February 19, 2014 Cultura
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It’s one thing to like pop music, quite another to love mariachi pop music. We thought this mariachi take on “Wake Me Up” by Aviccii was a good exception. Watch, share and enjoy! Mariachi image via anja_johnson

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Breaking: Fake Facebook post changes Fort Worth man’s life

by María Purísima February 4, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from FORT WORTH, TX) Leon Ortiz (photo, center) was scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed last week when he saw a post that changed his life forever. The post, co-authored by former President Bill Clinton (photo, left) and pop star Kayne West (photo, right), celebrated the importance of following your dreams. “You know, I […]

[Mas…]