Post image for Breaking: Latina wins Nobel for discovery of Culo Quotient

Breaking: Latina wins Nobel for discovery of Culo Quotient

by María Purísima on October 10, 2013 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

culoquotient(PNS reporting from STOCKHOLM)  A Latina math professor was awarded the Nobel Prize in Mathematics Wednesday for her discovery of the mathematical relationship between dress dimensions and the bulbousness of the culo.

“It’s such a surprise! I was just trying to figure out how to shop for clothes that would fit me without making me look like a puta,” said Cal State L.A. Professor Rosie Carrasco, speaking to PNS from the kitchen of her mom’s house in East L.A.

Carrasco’s discovery — the Culo Quotient —  is a rigorous mathematical formula that uses the ratio of the length of a back of a a dress (typically shorter) and the length of the longer front of a dress to derive an accurate measurement of the size of the dress-wearer’s culo.

Her discovery was initially released on the Internet, before a movement sprung up to nominate her for the Nobel Prize.

She is the first Latina to win the prestigious award.

“I never thought I would reach such heights,” she told PNS. “I’m still trying to come to terms with this achievement! Hopefully my discovery can help others, but also signal to the fashion industry that not every woman in the U.S. has flat nalgas.”

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Peter October 10, 2013 at 10:46 PM

I hate when people over react when posts are obviously just light-hearted attempts at humor and not meant to solve word hunger, so i’ll try not to be ‘one of those.’ That said, there’s a hint of self deprecation to this post that’s unfounded. A Latina HAS won a nobel prize. Gabriela Mistral, a Chilena, won for Literature in the 1940s, as have multiple Latinos, Octavio Paz, Vargas-Llosa, etc. Not science you say? Fine, a Latino named Mario Molina won the nobel prize for chemistry in 1995 for his work leading to the discovery of the hole in the Ozone Layer. Further, a Latina has been to space. Her name is Ellen Ochoa. And a Puerto Rican scientist named Anabelle Rodriguez-Oquendo just won the 2013 Scientist of the Year for a prestigious organization. I’m not offended, or ashamed or think you owe anyone an apology or anything like that. It’s a cute attempt at satire. But that whiff of self-deprecating humor, that we’re not good enough to win a Nobel in anything except something like ‘culo quotient,’ just bugs me a bit. Keep up the good work, just maybe research a bit more.

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Comic Saenz October 10, 2013 at 11:42 PM

Thanks, Peter!

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Lorena Sastre October 11, 2013 at 4:30 AM

Thanks Peter…I am always at a loss. Should I laugh or should I cry, when Latinas are made out to be, even satirically, so vapid.

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duh October 29, 2013 at 4:47 PM

I think the only reason the woman’s ethnicity was mentioned was to illustrate how much culo she had. I really dont think it had anything to do with the fact that she was a latina and won.

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