El Now

cucascalise

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If you’re going to upload a Mexican volcano webcam video of Colima exploding on January 21, be sure to add tension and release with a dramatic soundtrack featuring orchestral string and horn sections.

Srsly! Check out the same volcano-cam video uploaded by news channel RUPTLY without the music: [Mas…]

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cucamars

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barackonDespite the his many significant accomplishments and chingon new proposals, we were disappointed by what President Obama didn’t say at Tuesday night’s State of the Union address.

Here are the Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s SOTU gave us a sad:

8. Still no federal funding for Flying Trocas research.

7. Didn’t announce plan to make Ted Cruz first U.S. ambassador to Cuba.

6. No tax cuts for tamale entrepreneurs, thus no Pedro Herrera III in the audience to give a shout out to. [Mas…]

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frankieHere’s Thursday’s weather forecast for Houston, Texas, via Nova Scotia, Canadia, provided by Internetz Weather Expert FRANKIE:

Heavy Rain is on its way for Houston Texas on Thursday January 22, 2015 and it will bring 30+ mm of rain and the Heaviest Rain will be in Southeastern Texas Including Houston and Galveston and the Center of the Low Pressure System is Heading into the Gulf of Mexico that will cause a lot of Rain in Houston Texas and the Surrounding Areas and it will be a lot of Rain in Southeastern Texas Including Houston and it will bring Windy Conditions and the Thursday will not be a good day to Head to the Beach in Galveston Texas and it will bring Windy Conditions in Houston Texas and the Surrounding Areas and People in Houston Texas Be Prepared have your Rubber Boots, Rain Coats and Rain Suits Ready and when you are walking Wear your Rain Gear, Rubber Boots and Rain Coats to keep you Dry and have your Umbrella Ready and Don’t Walk Through the Puddles and Avoid the Puddles when you are going for a walk and it will be Very Wet Conditions in Southeastern Texas Including Houston on Thursday January 22, 2015 and it will Not be a Good Day to Head down to the Beach to Go Swimming in Galveston Texas and Order your Pizzas and Chinese Food and Buy cases of Pepsi and Coke and have your iPads, iPods, Cell Phones, Laptops and Tablets Charged and have your 3G and 4G Internet Ready since it will be Very Wet and Rainy down in Houston Texas on Thursday and if you have anybody living in Houston Texas Be Prepared for the Heavy Rain on Thursday January 22, 2015 Take Care and Stay Safe and Don’t Get Caught in the Heavy Rain Stay Dry and Be Safe.

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KingTiger

Reies Lopez Tijerina? Read the obituary of this controversial activist by our friend Russ Contreras of Associated Press.

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cucasparechange

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obamabackWashington insiders all know tonight’s State of the Union address — like every one before — will bring a few surprises.

We asked around town, and our peeps say these are the top eight to watch for:

8. First use of the Booger-Cam™ captures candid live video of bored Republicans

7. Warmup act Oprah Winfrey to Congress: “You get a drone…and you get a drone. Everybody gets a drone!”

6. Obama cruises to the Capitol in a clean 1953 Packard limousine, a gift from the people of Cuba [Mas…]

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MLK is back from dead and not all that happy (SNL video)

by Verdana Bold January 19, 2015 El Now
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When a student has trouble writing a school paper on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., the slain civil rights leader returns from the dead to help him out.

[Mas…]

America pauses for Ricky Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2015

by Comic Saenz January 16, 2015 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America will pause Monday to remember the life and message of Ricky Martin Luther King Jr., whose Tengo a Dream y Dance! speech changed the nation forever. Post offices and other public facilities will be closed, banks and stock exchanges are taking the day off and salsa picante and sweet potato pie […]

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Pocho Ocho worst Twitter #JeSuisCharlie hashtag fails

by Especial Correspondents January 15, 2015 Cultura

Some Twitter users are just unclear on the concept, especially when it comes to the appropriate use of the #JeSuisCharlie hashtag, the most popular ever (“heat map,” above). The viral slogan — coined after the massacre at Paris satire magazine Charlie Hebdo — affirms support of free expression. French-deficient? “Je suis Charlie” means “I am […]

[Mas…]

Welcome to Disneyland, The Measlesiest Place on Earth (toon)

by JUNCO CANCHÉ January 15, 2015 Cartoons
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PREVIOUSLY ON DISNEYLAND:

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Video Link: Topless women protest PAN land grab in Mexico City

by Andalé Mono January 14, 2015 El Now
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We can’t publish this video because NSFW but we can link to it. Hundreds of members of the 400 Pueblos movement protested Monday in front of the National Action Party (PAN) headquarters in Mexico City, many of them topless. Semi-nude protests — by men and women — have been a tactic of the group for […]

[Mas…]

‘Charlie Hebdo’ is publishing millions of these today (cover cartoon)

by YO SOY CHARLIE January 13, 2015 Cartoons
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“All is forgiven,” says the weeping Prophet Mohammed on the cover of the first post-massacre issue of Charlie Hebdo. “I am Charlie,” reads the sign. Read more at The Washington Post.

[Mas…]

Ramiro Gomez: This Golden Globe is for ‘the little people’… (toon)

by Cartoonistas January 13, 2015 Cartoons
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Our amigo artist Ramiro Gomez writes: For the many who were not thanked Sunday night, for those that help keep the Hollywood engine running steadily, behind the scenes: Congratulations! [10 x 12 in. Acrylic on magazine advertisement. 2015.] [Editor’s Note: Ramiro names all his subjects. For best performance using a leafblower…*drum roll*….AURELIO!]

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Charlie Hebdo: A fair and balanced approach (toon)

by GALAC TICO January 13, 2015 Cartoons
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Photos: Los Angeles No Pants Subway Ride 2015

by HABLO PICASSO January 13, 2015 Cultura
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Photographer Dan “The Steel Shark” Cooke braved the chilly 60° L.A. weather Sunday to take his pants off and ride the subway. He brought some friends.

[Mas…]

Vive La France: I AM JUIT (toon)

by voidmstr January 13, 2015 Cartoons
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[Mas…]

I Am NOT Charlie Hebdo, nevertheless… (toon)

by ERIC J. GARCIA January 13, 2015 Cartoons
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Pocho Ocho top questions asked before joining a Mexican cartel

by PROFESSOR EQUIS January 12, 2015 El Now
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Kids these days know they have options and they want to make smart choices — and not only kids in the United Estates. These are the Pocho Ocho top questions wannabe gangsters ask before joining a Mexican cartel: 8. Will beheading be on the final exam? 7. Soy vegetariano — is heart-eating mandatory? 6. Do I need to […]

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Video of Federales vs. gang battle shows round metallic UFO/OVNI

by ZORRO MULDER January 12, 2015 El Now
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That awkward moment when you review footage of a January 6 encounter between gangsters and Federales in Michoacan and you notice a spherical, metallic OVNI/UFO hovering overhead.

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Area woman looks forward to mediocre, less-ambitious 2015

by María Purísima January 12, 2015 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) After careful consideration, local woman Estela Zamora, 28, is aiming to be less ambitious in 2015. “Turns out the ‘American Dream’ doesn’t mean to aim for the stars, but rather, right under the stars, where it’s safe and there’s more company,” Zamora told PNS Sunday. “I’m just tired of getting flack […]

[Mas…]

Nothing to kill or die for: #CharlieHebdo editorial meeting (2006 video)

by Comic Saenz January 12, 2015 Cartoons
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The New York Times was in Paris in 2006 and video’d an editorial meeting at Charlie Hebdo magazine, as the staff brain-stormed a special Mohammed issue.

[Mas…]

Yo Dawg: I heard you hate people drawing your prophet (toon)

by YO SOY CHARLIE January 9, 2015 Cartoons
Thumbnail image for Yo Dawg: I heard you hate people drawing your prophet (toon)

[Editor’s note: An earlier version of this story included a Norman Rockwell spoof from 2010’s “Draw Mohammed Day.” With the death of the cartoon killers in Paris, we decided to replace the cartoon with an image that may or may not be a target. #satirematters] PREVIOUSLY ON MOCKING PROPHETS AND SAINTS:

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