El Now

univisiondebate(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Texas State Senator Dan Patrick, a Republican Lieutenant Governor wannabe, was named Pendejo of the Month Wednesday by the American Pochismo Institute (API.) The award followed his Univision debate Tuesday with San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro (photo.)

API’s designation, which is usually not revealed until the end of the month, was awarded Wednesday to Patrick for actions “Above And Beyond the Call of Douchery” after Patrick sent this Tweet Tuesday evening about how much he loves “Hispanics:” [Mas…]

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redfaceklumWe don’t publish the deets of people who visit POCHO.COM or subscribe to our newsletter but we can assure you that Heidi Klum is neither a visitor nor a subscriber, although she’d be smart to remedy that personal failing ASAP. If she were a regular POCHO-naut, she’d never have consented to the red-face photo shoot for Germany’s Next Top Model.

Klum (photo, above) donned her red-face garb along with the other contestants, and published their photos on her Facebook page: [Mas…]

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xptattoo(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) “It’s a sad day, ese,” said Ray “Code Boy” Santos, OG founder of area hacker clika MS2 (MS.DOS). “I saw the Windows XP Blue Screen of Death (BSOD) so often, he was mi hermano.”

“We used the XP version of Excel to tweak the hydraulics of Felipe’s ranfla. And I used to have weird dreams about the 3D pipes screensaver,” he told PNS Thursday. “All we had for music in those days was pinche Winamp, carnal, and we liked it!”

[Mas…]

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In 1963, President John F. Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act which prohibits gender discrimination in wages. Back then, women made 59 cents on average for every dollar earned by men.

Fifty years later, women earn only 77 cents for every buck a guy gets, so the battle that Batgirl began is not over. [Mas…]

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bpspills

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notorillasU.S. Latinos went to the movies in 2013 way more often than other ethnic groups, according to the Motion Picture Association of America. Latinos are 17% of the population but account for 32% of moviegoers who went to more than one movie a month.

Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons why Latinos are Hollywood’s best customers:

8. Air conditioning

7. You can sneak in your own meal

6. Fewer crying kids than at a birthday party [Mas…]

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‘OVNI gigante’ buzzes Medellin, Colombia (video)

by ROD ESTERLING April 8, 2014 Doomsday Countdown
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A star-shaped OVNI/UFO outlined with glowing lights was captured on video as it flew over Medellin, Colombia in February. “They’ve come to get us,” say the witness as they laugh. PREVIOUSLY ON COLOMBIA:

[Mas…]

Bumper sticker from the Lone Star State (toon)

by MATHEW April 4, 2014 Cartoons
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Clip and save, or buy one here! PREVIOUSLY BY MATHEW:

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Mexican garbage men perfect low-impact trash collection (video)

by RAY CYCLE April 4, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Trash collectors in the high-technology “Silicon Barrio” here have perfected a new technique for picking up basura that is greener and faster than traditional methods. As this demo video shows, drivers in León never stop and re-start their trucks — which would mean wasted fuel and extra airborne pollution. Instead, […]

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We’re Number One! California leads nation in active hate groups

by Especial Correspondents April 4, 2014 El Now
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The Golden State leads in nation in the number of active hate groups, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center. California hosts 77 hate orgs, the report said.  Florida was second with 58 groups of haters, and Texas placed third with 57.

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Pope: ‘Quakes are message from God: Let there be gay’

by Especial Correspondents April 1, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) The recent earthquakes in Southern California are a message from God, according to Pope Francis. The Almighty, he told a visiting delegation of American Catholics Monday, will shake things up until they are more gay. “Lord knows this mortal world needs some bright flashes of color that aren’t suicide bomb […]

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Michoacán tornado home video: ‘¡No manches!’ (NSFW)

by ROD ESTERLING March 31, 2014 Doomsday Countdown
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A tornado hit the town of Tangancicuaro in the Mexican state of Michoacán on March 22, damaging over 250 homes. This unedited, single-take home video features great play-by-play voiceover while the camera documents flying chonies and other debris. And enjoy the narrator’s colorful vulgar interjections! [NSFW Spanish audio.]

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Immigrants now leaders in town where Chavez began [PRI audio]

by Bronco del Camino March 31, 2014 Audio
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In Delano, the California Central Valley agricultural community where Cesar Chavez began the work that led to the formation of the United Farm Workers (UFW), immigrants and their children are now in charge. Public Radio International Reports:

[Mas…]

Turkey cracks down, stuffs Twitter (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz March 27, 2014 Cartoons
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[Mas…]