It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPhone 6 — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to survive Black Friday:
8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.
7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.
6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight little-known factoids right here:
8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Dave & Busters [Mas…]
President Barack Obama will defy Republican haters tonight and reveal “executive actions” to “fix the broken immigration system.”
Our sources at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue have shared a copy of the 5 PM EST speech and we can now reveal the Pocho Ocho top immigration reforms you’ll hear in the President’s address to the Nation:
8. If Central American child refugees can pat their heads and rub their tummies at the same time, they can cut in line.
7. Families of DREAMers are OK to stay if they mow the lawn.
6. Badges, stinking or otherwise, no longer needed. [Mas…]
Hey you Latinos – do you know your place in cyberspace?
Forget .COM, .ORG, and .NET and move on up to the new .SOY Top Level Domain, “the place for Latinos online,” brought to you by domain registrar Google, Inc. (screencap above).
What? The Goog explains:
.SOY is the domain name for Latino identity and expression on the web. .SOY can be anything you want it to be. It’s your place on the web for your voice, your business, or your bold new idea. Claim your name and join the .SOY community today.
You didn’t sign up yet? You better hurry because cool names in this Internet ghetto are going fast. We think these are the Pocho Ocho Coolest .SOY internet domains, but they already could be claimed, so click and learn:
Halloween costumes get better and better every year, and it’s hard to pick the best one. But we’re professionals, so we made up a fake most popular list to highlight the top outfits that feathered our serpent, if you know what we mean.
Here are the Pocho Ocho most popular Latin@ Halloween costumes of 2014:
8. Sexy Machete
7. Sexy Katrina
6. Sexy Sor Juana [Mas…]
When he flew away from his British owner in Torrance, CA four years ago, Nigel talked with an English accent. When he returned last week, the talented African gray parrot spoke Spanish.
Here are the Pocho Ocho top phrases Nigel the Parrot picked up on his Raza Vacation:
8. No más “Nigel.” Mi nombre es “Miguel” ahora.
7. El pueblo unido jamás será vencido!
6. Polly quiere un Takis. [Mas…]