(PNS reporting from WALL STREET) Summer has begun baking the country, and that means just one thing on Wall Street: A steep rise in the value of paleta stocks.
“We all look forward to a seasonal bump in the iced treats sector. This year, Navidad came early,” said Alexander Wiseman, a desserts and novelty/snack food analyst for investment bank Barney, Smith & Locke.
“The paletas de coco seem to be particularly big sellers thus far, but more conservative investors are sticking with the time-tested favorites, such as fresa and limón. Ah, nothing really cools you down like a lime paleta,” he told PNS. [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Mario Villarreal isn’t considered a misogynist by most of his friends — he even has female friends — but everything changes once he crosses the threshold of his mother’s home here.
“All of a sudden, he’s struck with a sudden case of mamitis, which in turn causes his machismo to come out,” said Monica García, who is Villarreal’s friend outside of the confines of his mom’s.
“He’s pretty down most of the time, he came out to Take Back the Night and the Chicana Women’s Forum we held last month,” the UCLA junior said. “But when I went home to his mom’s house he was all, like, telling her what to do while sitting on the couch when clearly she was tired. What a jerk!” [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from MEXICO DF) Farmers, activists, students, scientists and foodies organized a Carnival of Corn in Mexico City over the weekend to protest genetically-engineered corn being forced into the food supply by corporations specifically like Monsanto.
GMO corn, which is short for GITMO, or Guantanamo Corn, carries a gene designed to kill insects if eaten and hold people hostage to the St. Louis-based Monsanto Corporation.
Monsanto’s “Roundup-Ready” corn has been approved as feed for animals but not humans. Studies have shown that the human body is not be able to digest a key protein in this killer corn.
Monsanto’s killer corn first made headlines when it was accidentally used to make taco shells for Taco Bell in 2000.
“Eating this corn caused digestive problems, cramping, spasms, allergic reactions and even night blindness,” said Coronel Ben Enoso of the FDA’s Genetic Corn Division. “Unfortunately, this made it pretty hard to distinguish from regular Taco Bell food.” [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from LAS VEGAS) Guitar hero and chart-topping band leader Carlos Santana has put his 7,240-square-foot, four-bedroom, six-bath home up for sale as part a 12-step program to “mend…[his]..evil ways” and simplify his life, PNS has learned. [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff, authors of the mathematically-challenged Growth in a Time of Debt pro-”austerity” study, and Jason Richwine, the Heritage Foundation researcher who claimed Hispanics have lower IQs, are the recipients of the 2013 Carlos Castaneda Award for Academic Bullshit, it was announced today.
The prize is named for the Peruvian-born UCLA anthropologist and cult leader who wrote several best-selling books about a Yaqui brujo that were marketed as truth but turned out to be bullshit. It’s presented annually to “those academic authors who manage to fool some of the people some of the time.”
The award, which features a $19.99 monthly stipend and a year’s supply of vegetarian “sausage” for the winners, is a community project of the Soyrizo Foundation of Los Angeles, which is “dedicated to recognizing and celebrating phony-ass shit wherever we find it, with a spicy Latin flair,” executive vice president Penn O. Kehoe said in a foundation press release. [Mas…]