(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Fido and Fluffy have become collateral damage in the war between the rival QuinoaTraficante and ChiaTraficante agricultural cartels.
Recent attacks on Mexican chia seed production — apparently at the hands of rival-cartel-affiliated quinoa growers — have left thousands of local seed-deprived Chia Pets cold, shivering and hairless this Yuletide season, Texas People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) told PNS.
PETA said this includes Fido and Fluffy, of Barton Creek, pictured (above) in the organization’s latest Web ad.
(PNS reporting from RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA) Factional fighting among Spanglish speakers, academics, and Raza activists doomed the first Spanglish grammar conference, held here Sunday.
“The idea was to create some foundational principles and ground rules for our people’s language,” co-organizer Lourdes Cervantes-Borges of the Professional Organization of Chican@s Oppressed by Society (POCHOS) told PNS. “We wished merely to memorialize those rules in a book of proper Spanglish Style, a Estronque y Blanco if you will, but then these know-nada nacos had to get involved.”
“No manches, son puras pendejadas! I ain’t down with all of that academic bullshit,” countered East Los delegate-at-large Oscar “Mocoso” Chavez. “Nuestra lengua is from the streets, and I ain’t talking ’bout that chingon taco troka on the corner of Beverly Boulevard.” [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from FERGUSON, MO) St. Louis County Prosecutor Robert P. McCulloch credits the ghost of notorious 19th Century Mexican dictator Porfirio Diaz with the legal theory that there was insufficient evidence to prosecute killer cop Darren Wilson.
In an interview with PNS Sunday, McCulloch said the ghost of Diaz visited him in a dream and provided legal advice on handling the Wilson grand jury, the official body investigating the shooting death of unarmed college student Michael Brown. [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) Families here are thanking President Barack Obama as they sit down to their Thanksgiving meals today.
Undocumented immigrant Mario Garza, who plans to pay his fines and “get in the back of the line,” is overjoyed with the White House plans to help fix “our broken immigration system.”
“No pues está a toda madre lo que hizo el presidente Obama, y que poca madre tienen los pinches republicanos que no tienen ni corazon ni huevos para cumplir con la raza trabajadora,” he told PNS. (Translation: Garza backs presidential action but has doubts about the Republican Party’s appeal to future Latino voters.) [Mas…]
Look for Jesu Krispis, Guada Loops and Tade0s on store shelves soon! [Click to enlarge.] [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Newly-uncovered video confirms allegations that the U.S. Government stole and perverted POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’s 1998 plan to use remote-controlled robots (now called drones) for peaceful purposes.
The short informational piece, which Alcaraz made for the United States Department of Labor, aired only once — on local access cable TV program Illegal Interns. It was lost to the public until a VHS version was discovered in a storage locker in Boyle Heights last week.
Alcaraz’ documentary illustrates how remotely-controlled farm workers/braceros (called “cyber-braceros” or “cybraceros” for short in the quaint lingo of the 20th Century) could pick American crops without crossing America’s border.
Sadly, Alcaraz’ prophetic vision of remotely-controlled robots was perverted by Tio Sam and used for killing foreigners overseas and snooping on Americans at home.
The Labor Department video starts at 1:05 into the program: [Mas…]
(NOVEMBER 5, 2014, GUANAJUATO, MEXICO) iJuanCo, creator of iJuan, the first smartphone app to directly match day laborers and potential bosses, has secured a $3.5 million dollar investment from venture capital fund XS Dinero, iJuanCo company president Grito Del Toro announced here today.
Day laborers using the app will be able to register their schedules, skill set and service areas via iJuan, saving potential employers the hassle of cruising to Home Depot to hire workers while lessening the need for trabajeros to chase patrons’ trokas around the parking lot.
“We aim to disrupt the day labor market,” Del Toro said. “We’re turning wetbacks into techbacks!”
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) While Republicans and FOX News have been quick to attack President Barack Obama’s anti-Ebola strategy, they didn’t hear this behind-the-scenes recording of the President’s remarks to health workers Wednesday. An un-named aide leaked this recording to POCHO this morning. [NSFW adult language.]
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