(PNS reporting from RANCHO POCHO, CA) With defiant shouts of “Don’t Cauc me, bro!” and “Chechnya? I just metchnya!” dozens of Caucasian-Americans filled the corners of city parks and the edges of town squares across the Nation Sunday to protest what they call “illegal racial profiling” against Caucasians.
The identification of two Caucasian-American suspects in the Boston Marathon bombings has resulted in both nasty words and police harassment, they claim.
The protests, organized by Caucasians Against Caucasian Accusations (CACA), attracted a wide cross-section of Caucasians including Georgians, Svans, Mingrelians, Lazs, Avaris, Andicis, Akhvakhis, Godoberis, Hunukhis, Hunzibis, Yabasarans, Laks, Chechens, Bats, Abkhazians and Circassians.
“Just because every Chechen terrorist has been a Caucasian doesn’t mean every Caucasian is a Chechen terrorist,” CACA president Shaka Demonkai told PNS.
“Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out, they leave the West behind. And Moscow girls make me sing and shout that Georgia’s always on my mah mah mah mah mah mah mind,” he added.
Three incidents were alleged by CACA:
- In Mahomet, IL, where Caucasians make up 98.18% of the population, local residents were on edge. “Some juvenile delinquents from the next town were driving up and down the streets with a bullhorn,” police chief Ahmet Deronamonday told PNS. “They were shouting racist slogans like ‘We don’t care if your grandma is a spry and vigorous 95-year-old who still milks the goats every morning, take your yoghurt with active probiotic cultures and go home!’ Punks.’
- In Washington, D.C. the Czech Ambassador to the United Estates, Petr Gandalovic, posted a statement on the embassy’s website reminding everyone that Czechs are not Chechens, God forbid.
- CACA activists in Maricopa County, AZ said deputies under the command of Sheriff Joe Arpaio had begun county-wide “papers please” police checkpoints to see if they could find undocumented Caucasians, but the effort faltered when the department’s traditional racial-profiling procedures failed with a “skin-color buffer overrun.”
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