Dos Mujeres website offers V-Day deals for duplicitous Don Juans

by Pocha Peña on February 13, 2014 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

sanchogram(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) “This is muy badass,” says Kinke La Muerte, generously-paid celebrity endorser and front man for the infamous gothic conjunto band Los Cucuys de la Cueva. “Now both mis hynas get caramel kisses with one clique!”

La Muerte (photo, right) and other bigamists across Aztlan are celebrating this Valentine’s Day with a new service that delivers fresh flores and sabroso sweets to wives in both Mexico and the U.S.

Tejano startup DosMujeresUnCabron.com (800-555-OTRA) offers a variety of pre-packaged and custom gift offerings for the two (or more) women in a man’s love life.

The “Perra y Princesa” combo offers naughty and nice gifts for both your Mexican mujer and the cute nena you married en el Norte, while the “Dos Viejas” package ensures no favoritism in gifting by sending identical gifts with a bilingual love note to wives on both sides of the border.

Pero you don’t have to be married to take advantage of DosMujeres’s great offers, like the “Simultaneous Sancho” option (only $50) that will get you the maximum besos for your pesos.

Like all DosMujeres combo deals, each order delivers to two addresses, so you don’t have the hassle of hiding the other woman’s romantic gifts from this woman.

Strap on a “Double Don Juan” for a kinky add-on that will be sure to tickle her cucu. Upgrade to “Cariñoso Cacique” level to send a generous Western Union check for your otra familia while also providing your Yanqui fresita some sexy jewelry.

[Mention POCHO for a free “Caramelo Condom” in BOTH gift packs to keep those child support payments at a manageable level.]

Image via Tumblr.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

{ 1 comment }

Just Call Me Woody February 13, 2014 at 7:43 PM

The link for the website is broken.

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