Ferengi-Americans endorse Romney: ‘We totally admire his greed’

by EDUARDO BURRO on September 24, 2012 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

(PNS reporting from SALT LAKE CITY) Gov. Mitt Romney‘s Presidential campaign, which has little support outside its base of old, ignorant white people, picked up a key “ethnic” endorsement late Sunday as the Ferengi-American Political Action Committee (FAPAC) backed his White House bid.

“Frankly,” FAPAC Grand Nagus Ishka told a hastily-called press conference here, “he had us at ‘corporations are people, my friend’ but when we started matching up his beliefs with the Rules of Acquisition we knew he was our guy! We totally admire his greed.”

FAPAC released a photograph (above) of the group after a meeting with the candidate at the majestic Mormon Temple here and passed out a chart showing their similar philosophies:

WHY FAPAC ENDORSES ROMNEY
Gov. Mitt Romney Rules of Acquisition
I like being able to fire people who provide services to me. 211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to step on them.
I’m not concerned about the very poor. 144. There’s nothing wrong with charity…as long as it winds up in your pocket.
I feel very deeply about the need to respect and tolerate people of different social – or sexual orientation. But at the same time, I believe marriage should be preserved as an institution for one man and one woman. 4. A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
Make no mistake, in this campaign, I will offer the American ideals of economic freedom a clear and unapologetic defense. 255. A wife is a luxury…a smart accountant a necessity.

Asked whether FAPAC would match its endorsement with a financial commitment, Ishka was clear:

Rule of Acqusition 189. Let others keep their reputation…you keep their latinum.

ElEresNerd contributed to this report.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT.  DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Ben Cisco September 24, 2012 at 10:12 AM

Linked to w/credit at My Ready Room

Reply

Kobyashi Maru September 24, 2012 at 10:51 AM

FAPAC!

hahaha

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: