(PNS reporting from EAST LOS ANGELES) María de Luz Guzmán Villa had a disturbing realization this week: being a lesbian in grad school does not make her more like the Mexican icon Frida Kahlo.
Like many others, Guzmán Villa first experimented with trying to be like Frida, especially her lesbian tendencies, after her first Intro to Chicano Studies course at Cal State L.A.
But instead of giving up her fascination upon graduation, she gave up her boyfriend César and applied to grad school.
“One of the reasons I came to grad school to study Chicano art history, and also to discover my inner Frida,” Guzmán Villa told PNS.
“What I didn’t think would happen is that I would become a lesbian for all these years only to realize that I actually don’t like women and that I really don’t like walking around without waxing,” she said.
Guzmán Villa is set to defend her dissertation in art history in a few months, but worries that, now that her devotion to her idol has evaporated, she may not be able to go through with it. Her dissertation was, of course, about Frida Kahlo’s contributions to Chicana identity.
“I’ve given away all my indígena blouses, packed up all my rings, cut my hair, waxed my mustache, plucked my eyebrows and broken up with my girlfriends, I don’t know what else to do,” she lamented, in tears.
Although becoming Frida was once her life’s desire, Guzmán Villa now says that she was wrong, and wants to spend time getting to know herself better.
“I want to get to know myself, maybe I will discover my own inner María,” she said.
Photo by University of Salford.