8. Denial – It’s not that hot. Maybe you are trying to impress your old country relatives, or a date, or anyone. But you know better. It’s hot and it stings.
7. Exaggerated mouth breathing – No one has ever confirmed that breathing heavily in and out of your mouth, as though you were doing lamaze, makes the chile any less hot, but you try it anyway.
6. Drinking water – Predictable. This doesn’t help of course. Drink milk* which does.
5. Exclamations of “Oh, that’s hot!” and vulgarities – As though by telling the world about your struggle they would have any sympathy for you. What did you get yourself into, fool?
4. Sweating – Don’t worry, no one can see the beads of sweat forming on your forehead or neck. Really, just be cool.
3. Nose blowing - It’s not gross, it’s just nature.
2. Crying – This is only for the extremely faint of heart. Some people simply were not meant for this world, or chile in general.
And the numbero uno way to respond to hot chile is…
Death – Okay, maybe not literally, but definitely it can feel like that, OK? Stop judging me.
Photo by WhisperToMe.