Pocho Ocho best ways to tell if your tamales are illegal

illegaltamalesAfter the Border Patrol at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) confiscated and incinerated 450 “illegal tamales” flown in from Mexico (photo), we asked tamale experts how law-abiding citizens could determine if their tamales were also illegal.

After all, when tamales are illegal, only illegals will have tamales. Here are the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Tell If Your Tamales Are illegal:

8. The tamales “accidentally” turned off their body-cams

7. Fake Syrian passports

6. Hipsters keep asking you where you got them

5. They avoid driving in Sheriff Joe territory

4. They’re selling naranjas at the exit ramp

3. They scare the crap out of Ted Cruz

2. Two words: Mole Mota

And the numero uno way to tell if your tamales are illegal is…

They taste way better than your abuelita’s tamales

Especial Correspondents Maria Purisima and Comic Saenz contributed to this report. Photo by U.S. Customs and Border Patrol.