Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving

by Comic Saenz on November 20, 2012 in Cultura, Pocho Ocho

See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight things right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Fieri’s Tipi
5. Although only organic turkey was served, it was not Kosher
4. Two words: Pumpkin Schnapps
3. Elder William Bradford’s admonition to wife Sarah was the first recorded use of the phrase “Prithee, shut ye olde pie hole.”
2. Concerted effort needed to make sure Uncle Petraeus was not left alone with the girls

And the numero uno secret of the first Thanksgiving is…

You look chilly; want a blanket?

Historically incorrect painting by Jean Leon Gerome Ferris.

{ 1 comment }

Al Carlos Hernandez November 20, 2012 at 10:36 AM

TOP Ten Things a Barrio Turkey is Thinking

If, that is, a Barrio Turkey could think

By Al Carlos Hernandez

10. ¿Sabes Que? I’ll just front like I’m a shicken…

9. Fool stupid enough to eat me will be hung over (crudo) for a week.

8. Given my background, I’m qualified to run for local office.

7. The Latin Grammys were the bomb.

6. Mi Vieja is the Hen, I’m a Tomas, ¿Y Que?

5. I wonder which end they light, when they smoke a turkey?

4. Yeah, I’m a Turkey, just like Tu Mama; Su bald headed Girlfriend and the Chancho that did your hair.

3. Hit me with that Piñata stick, and I’m going to bite your lip.

2. I heard Eva is single again, I’m going to Tweet the heck out of her now.

1. Actually, it was The Aztecs who domesticated the Turkey, and look what happened to them.

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