There’s no holiday more pocho than the Fourth of July. Independence Day has all the elements that make for an awesome celebration: it marks a momentous event in our history plus there’s a barbecue, family, friends and the perfect excuse to play with fire, fireworks and/or firearms.
Some of you may already starting to party today, so let’s jump the gun with the Pocho Ocho top ways to celebrate this holiday weekend:
8. Honoring the flag. We love our country and we love our flag.
7. Spilling beer on your cell phone. Party foul be damned, it’s bound to happen.
6. Eating too much. Then eating more. You can’t just have one plate, even if your already-tight jeans are feeling snug. This is a holiday for goodness’ sakes!
5. Managing the telenovela-like drama that results every time your family gets together. You know you love each other when you cannot stand each other. Every year, every time you get together, all the old sores begin to fester, add a little alcohol and a few hours in the sun, and you’ve got a nice recipe for disaster. Prepare yourself.
4. Hitting a banned piñana in Houston. When piñatas are outlawed, only outlaws will hit piñatas, it’s that simple.
3. Shooting guns into the air in your backyard. Because, wait, why do we do this again? Don’t do this, it’s dangerous.
2. Burning your hand with illegal fireworks. It’s fun?
And the numero uno way to celebrate the Fourth of July this year is…
By commemorating the great pochos who contributed to this country. Great pochos across the ages contributed to this country in many ways, from the arts to work to the military to making salsa the top condiment.
Happy Fourth of July!