Oxford: Big butt women are smarter, healthier *UPDATED w/ VIDEO

by María Purísima on November 2, 2013 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service


* An interview with the University of Oxford butt fat researcher [Updated 7:45 PM PDT Nov. 2, 2013.]


vander(PNS reporting from ENGLAND) Scientists at the University of Oxford have uncovered evidence that women with big butts are not only the most intelligent, but also the most resistant to chronic illnesses.

The study examined the fat accumulated in different parts of a woman’s body, and found that women with a phat ass were less likely to get diabetes, since they are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize sugar.

What’s more, women with big booties tended to have lower levels of cholesterol and fewer heart problems, according to the study.

We translated the Fafhoo Noticas report:

Women with a big butt, wide hips and a narrow waist can live longer, and even be more intelligent, since the Omega 3 fats stored in their butts support brain development.



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“Marie Curie, for example, had to back that ass up in the lab all the time — and look how brilliant she was!” remarked butt researcher Benedict Pollen. “This supports the long-rumored story that Albert Einstein himself wore baggy clothing to try to mask the fact that he had it going on.”

English scientists were excited by the results, and wondered where they could get their hands on some big booty on their side of the pond.

“I never stopped to think that JLo could be the next Nobel prize winner!” declared Pollen.

Professor of Physics Sandra Melendez of the University of Arizona was unimpressed by the study.

“Seriously? That’s how men are going to decide I’m smart? Whatever, I guess I’ll just take my award-winning research to Victoria’s Secret,” she told PNS.

“Intelligent my ass, I’m pinche brilliant,” she said, noting that she was a runner-up for the Nobel prize this year.

“Maybe if I’d mailed them a picture of my culo I would have won the gold,” she remarked sarcastically. “In the meantime, I’m going to keep working on my research, hopefully one day the male-dominated science field will see my mind, not just my record-breaking booty.”

PREVIOUSLY ON BIG BUTTS:

Butt photo via Fafhoo.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.



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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Darnel Cooper October 28, 2013 at 2:47 PM

LOL

Now you KNOW men who go with this rational will be punished by womankind.

LOL.

Reply

The Wizard of BODacious October 29, 2013 at 10:52 AM

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!!!

Reply

Alexandra October 29, 2013 at 4:07 PM

Victorias secret has never used a model with a big ass.

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Stasia November 1, 2013 at 5:49 AM

Perhaps You are unfamiliar with Tyra?

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Devalina October 30, 2013 at 1:02 AM

of course!! this is certainly true, internationally and cross-culturally.

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Emily October 30, 2013 at 2:39 AM

Sounds like a bunch of men with a fetish to me!

Im smart because I learned from dumb naive mistakes. Im smart because I study, read everything, and philosophize! Im smart because I don’t want to be an idiot like many people I encounter on a daily basis. Im smart because I choose to be. It just so happens that I do have a giant ass which is inherited from my fathers apparent genius side of the family. Why aren’t they researching how to cure diabetes or cancer instead of stating the obvious; that my ass and my brain are connected. Welcome to anatomy 101. Way to go Oxford!

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Haitianbella December 28, 2013 at 4:01 PM

I completely agree with you emily. I have a big butt so what. It does not make me smart. I spend counting hours studying and reading. trying to find cure to why there are so many people going to bed hungry every night.

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m0t December 28, 2013 at 7:43 PM

Duh, they don’t have any food!

LuvaBIGbooty October 30, 2013 at 5:30 AM

BLACK women ROCK!!!!

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Will October 30, 2013 at 8:06 PM

Gonna be a lotta angry flat booty chicks in here…

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Daryush James Persson October 31, 2013 at 7:59 AM

I love that smart ass Woman,that shape killes,.get Your atention make You smart and Get You to do things and think different.heheh

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Pinpopular October 31, 2013 at 9:46 AM

LOL .. Big LoooooL !!

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angel November 1, 2013 at 3:30 AM

Perhaps for women with brains in their butts, a big one matters ;)

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Courtney November 1, 2013 at 9:28 PM

I like that Emily. Let em know what time it is

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Wally November 6, 2013 at 11:20 PM

Que culo

Reply

T00m December 28, 2013 at 8:55 AM

They have place for additional brains :P

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Chris Lashay December 28, 2013 at 11:14 AM

There’s a song called Big Chicks Are In you should check out by this indie band: http://youtu.be/yhs1ryAGY3I

Reply

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