(PNS reporting from SAN BERNARDINO) A local Christian conservative anti-immigration blogger is relieved that the AshleyMadison.com adultery website was hacked, not the Latino gay hookup site AshleyMamon.com.
“Whoa I almost crapped my pantalones when I heard about Ashley Madison on a car radio some beaner was blasting in the next lane,” the 43-year-old insurance agent told PNS Thursday afternoon.
Mas…Area man relieved Ashley Madison was hacked, not Ashley Mamon
Student film? Bad Accent Video Theatre? Whatever! El Amor de Mi Amante is mini-telenovela brought to you by Taco Bell and this year’s hottest new fragrance — Twist!
PREVIOUSLY ON BAD SPANISH ACCENT VIDEO THEATRE:
Mas…Bad Accent Video Theatre: ‘El Amor de Mi Amante’ (My Lover’s Love)
In Peru, love hurts. Next step: Couples counseling?
Former California Gübernator and bodybuilding icon Arnold Schwarzeneggar’s new autobiography Total Retard paints a scandalous picture of a life dominated by men, sweat, steroids, cigars and the desperate need to womanize and destroy the California economy.
Reading like a review of an action film in which the main character blows up everything in his path, the biography provides a rare glimpse of how a man who spent the first 30 years of his life in bikini briefs and body oil could become governor of the most powerful state in the Union.
“It is important to know which muscle to flex, when to flex it and who to flex it to,” writes the action movie star.
Schwarzeneggar spends a fair amount of time writing about hard lessons he learned from other fame-hungry bodybuilders and how that was the best preparation for success in Hollywood and politics.
He also talks about the opportunities he had as an immigrant to America.
“America is the land of opportunity for immigrants.” writes Schwarzeneggar,” but it helps if you are a rich, white man from Austria.”
Mas…Schwarzeneggar ‘Total Retard’ bio takes hard look and bares all
Pope Benedict XVI‘s 2010 statement that condoms are OK to prevent the spread of HIV is getting new attention now that some religious institutions are fighting a mandate to offer birth control as part of employee health plans.
The Pontiff’s relaxing the rules on condoms was mostly overlooked when he made it, along with Pocho Ocho other changes in Catholic doctrine you might not be aware of:
8. Premarital sex still forbidden except on alternate side of the week Thursdays.
7. It’s now OK to refer to the Three Wise Men as the Three Wise Dudes.
6. Confession now starts with “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned but You Only Live Once.”
Mas…The Pope’s Pocho Ocho relaxed rules for Catholics besides condoms
Dear Abuelita:
Is it possible to love two women at the same time? You see, I love my wive and I would do anything for her, but I also love my secret lover who inspires me in different ways that my wife does not. I make more love to my secret lover than to my wife. I think both of my loves complement my needs and I need both of them to be at peace.
Signed, Confused But Happy
Dear Con Fundio,
Don’t act like a tonto by saying you’d do anything for your wife. If you really meant it you would dump the hoochie coochie you have on the side and be a devoted husband. You’re so full of mierda, you need a lavativa not a lover.
Of course both your “loves” complement your needs. You’re a sin verguenza. Have you ever thought of the needs of your two women? How much are you offering them? I wouldn’t blame them if they had some one else on the side as well. Would serve you right.
Your pregunta is the biggest load of cacagada I’ve seen since my sancho plugged the toilet with one of his massive camotes.
Me da asco, cabron, Tu Abuelita
Mas…Dear Abuelita: Wife and lover, my ring-a-ding, trouble at the zoo
Former Freaker of the House Newt Gingrich’s campaign for the Republican presidential nomination is over. POCHO laments the loss of this serial adulterer and nominee wannabe, as his ignorant, racist douchebaggery provided us with lots of ñews, including this Spanish-language campaign commercial with realistic English subtitles.
And there’s more below: