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Ever have an awkward moment when you have to pretend to be an Anglo at the taqueria because you don’t speak Spanish? Alfonso “White Boy Mexican” Ochoa reports.

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common-asian-chino(PNS reporting from NORMAL, ILL) Demographers at Pocho Asian American Policy Institute (PAAPI) here have just released a new map detailing the most common Asian languages spoken in the U.S., broken out on a state by state basis, in English and Spanish. [Click on image to enlarge.] [Mas…]

otherthanenglish
Slate’s infographic mapping magic illustrates what we knew already — across most of the United Estates, Spanish is almost always the most commonly-spoken language besides English.

But after English and Spanish, what’s Numero Tres? Here in California, it’s Tagalog, first language of a quarter of all Filipinos and the second language of most. Pinoys, ruled by both Spain and the U.S., are the honorary (?) Latinos of Asia.

Tagalog? If you’ve got cooties, or play with a yo-yo, or live in the boondocks, you’re speaking Tagalog.

There are also unexpected results in Texas and Florida and New York and Illinois and…. Here’s the spoken language third place map: [Mas…]


Enjoy the Internacional, the world-wide (Get it? It’s international!) anthem of those red commie cabrones in Cuba and Venezuela and China and North Korea (and lurking in secretive cells everywhere else but the lame stream media sheeple won’t tell you that.)

May 1 is May Day AKA International Workers’ Day. Today the communist comrades sing this stirring appeal, with its hummable melody and a vague vision of a better future that’s hard to disagree with, except maybe the LUCHA FINAL aspect.

Yet even as they sing this Kommie Kumbaya, the Marxist minions are locking millions up arbitrarily, invading foreign countries, spying on their fellow citizens and — we’ve read reports — killing innocent civilians by remote control. Oh, wait.

THE INTERNATIONALE LYRICS IN ENGLISH AND SPANISH: [Mas…]


It is important that one pronounce “Chicano” properly, is it not, Sir?

PREVIOUSLY ON PRONUNCIATION: [Mas…]


Who can help the innocent children of the world? It’s Christmas and the Devil is infecting their dreams! El Santa Claus — from his headquarters on a cloud in outer espace — is on the case with the help of friends like Merlin the Magicican. It’s fun for the whole family in English dub of the 1959 Mexican classic Santa Claus. Thrill at the cheap special effects! Marvel at the casual racism! Cringe at the mashup of cinema tropes from many genres! And laugh.

From Wikipedia: [Mas…]

bigotesign¡Peligro! ¡Bigote! From two years ago, photographer and location unknown, found on Imgur

PREVIOUSLY ON BIGOTE/MUSTACHE: [Mas…]


Ai, yai, yai yai! The late great Tex-Mex music superstar Freddy Fender has his way with the 1882 ranchera classic Cielito Lindo. But do you know the words? ¡Ajua!

Here are the lyrics via Wikipedia: [Mas…]

[Breaking] Back to School: Boys named ‘José’ get new names

by EresNerd September 5, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) All across America, elementary school teachers performed a traditional back-to-school ritual this week — the ceremonial renaming of thousands of boys named “José.” The annual ritual is performed when teachers take roll in the morning: First, teachers call the boys named “José” by new “American” names, typically “Joe,” “Joey,” or […]

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Breaking: Marketing to Latins? Talk Latin to us, activists say

by ZACK A. TEXAS August 12, 2013 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from UPTON ABBEY, MI) Frater Cassius the Yon was adamant. “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti,” he insisted in a rare English-language interview Sunday. “There is no such thing as Latin dancing, unless you mean the “dance of death” from the Black Plague. And Latin music is Gregorian chants, Enya and […]

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Pocho Ocho ways to tell you’re watching ‘Latino ñews’

by Especial Correspondents July 24, 2013 Cultura
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It’s no surprise to us Pochodores — it’s why we started POCHO.COM: Actual research reveals more and more U.S. Latinos are getting their ñews in Ingles – ñews from respected journalists like brothers Jorge Cooper-Ramos (right), and Anderson Ramos-Cooper (left.) OK, sometimes Latinos get their ñews from Gustavo Almadovar live in the O.C., but not lately. Meanwhile, Univision is leading […]

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Pocha Playmate of the Year speaks Spanish AND American (video)

by CHUCK FULLOVNATZ May 14, 2013 El Now
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Playboy’s first Pocha Playmate of the Year, Raquel Pomplun, is bilingual. Hugh Hefner notes (after the one-minute mark) that the Chula Vista, CA native speaks both Spanish and “American.” (Totally nonironic video via Brussels, Belgium’s Jewish News One Network. Who knew?)

[Mas…]

Eligio El Nene wants you to know: ‘En America Se Habla Ingles’ (video)

by Moctezuma Cortés April 17, 2013 Cultura
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Eligio The Kid and his super hero squad of Extranjeros realize that in America, one needs to speak English. I’m so sorry you don’t know what I say!

[Mas…]

Pocho Palabra with @SaraChicaD ‘Supposebly’ (video)

by FLAN LANDERS April 12, 2013 Cultura
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POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón (@SaraChicaD on Twitter) doesn’t care what the rulebooks say. She’s going to keep on saying “supposedbly.”

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Pocho Palabra with @SaraChicaD ‘Irregardless’ (video)

by FLAN LANDERS April 11, 2013 Cultura
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POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón (@SaraChicaD on Twitter) doesn’t care what the rulebooks say. She’s going to keep on saying “irregardless.”

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Pocha Podcast: WTF is up with these catcalls? (NSFW audio)

by Soy Capitan April 8, 2013 Audio
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POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón in Los Angeles and New Jack City Burro Jefe Elise Roedenbeck got together in audioland to see if they could figure out WTF is up with guys and their weird catcalls and come-ons. Is it different in New York vs. L.A.? Are Spanish catcalls different from English? What’s […]

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Pocho Palabra: So you think you have balls, w/ @SaraChicaD (video)

by BIG JUANS February 27, 2013 Cultura
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It’s a fine line between drawers and testicles, as POCHO Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón explains in this one-minute video. She’s @SaraChicaD on Twitter. PREVIOUSLY… Pocho Palabra: Don’t get knocked up, with @SaraChicaD (video) ‘Espeak & Espell’ with @SaraChicaD (video)

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Pocho Palabra: Don’t get knocked up, with @SaraChicaD (video)

by BAY B. BOMP February 20, 2013 Cultura
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It’s a fine line between being embarrassed and being pregnant, as POCHO Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón explains in this one-minute video. She’s @SaraChicaD on Twitter. Too late you say, you already are pregnant? Have we got a video for you!

[Mas…]

‘Espeak & Espell’ with @SaraChicaD (video)

by Andalé Mono January 30, 2013 Cultura
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Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón has a one-minute Spanish lesson for you pochos. She’s on Twitter as @SaraChicaD.

[Mas…]

Another semester of Spanish and yet another ‘Love Song’ (video)

by QUESO QUESEM January 11, 2013 Cultura
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She’s brown and beautiful; he’s white and smitten. And the only way he can express his feelings is to sing the Second Semester of Spanish Love Song. He tried before, when he had only one semester of Spanish:

[Mas…]

Meet my elementary school hero: ‘Facundo the Great’ (video)

by Moctezuma Cortés December 26, 2012 Cartoons
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Ramón “Chunky” Sanchez narrates: My name was Ramón, but the teachers called me Raymond; Maria was Mary and Juanita was Jane. But everything changed at school when the new kid came — Facundo. More Chunky Sanchez: Ballad of the Pocho by Los Alacranes (music video)

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‘Santa Claus’ [vs the Devil] trippy 1959 English-dubbed Mexican flick

by OLIVE THE OTHER REINDEER December 22, 2012 Cultura
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Who can help the innocent children of the world? It’s Christmas and the Devil is infecting their dreams! El Santa Claus — from his headquarters on a cloud in outer espace — is on the case with the help of friends like Merlin the Magicican. It’s fun for the whole family in English dub of […]

[Mas…]

Paul Rodriguez Spanish ad for Romney now in English (video)

by Santino J. Rivera October 19, 2012 Audio
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Mexican-born (just like his BFF’s dad!) actor and comedian Paul Rodriguez wants Latinos to vote for Gov. Mitt Romney in November and recorded 60 seconds of audio (below) to explain why. No habla Espanish? No problemo! We made this video with English titles so you can follow along. Background footage via the Occupy Wall Street […]

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@MexicanMitt: Corrected subtitles for my Univision appearance

by MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY September 20, 2012 El Now
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Those vendidos at Univision‘s Espanish subtitling department are lying Cubanos and they hate Mexicans like me. That is the ONLY EXPLANATION I have for the way they translated my remarks for my Espanish-speaking friends. Here is what I really said: So-called transcript: But the truth is as you know my dad was born of American […]

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