Happy Papis Day to all the papas, and the mamas too.
My Dad was not the greatest role model for Fatherhood, but he did do what he could. He went to work everyday at his hard labor job, then let alcohol kill him, dying when I was 13.
So excuse me if I don’t get into the artificial “Latino Dad” thing, or the “Punk Rock Dad” thing.
Dinner plans are in motion. The finger paints are out. You can hear the ugly ties and BBQ equipment being poorly wrapped by tiny hands with still-developing fine motor skills. Glitter is strewn about the kitchen like the aftermath of a grisly triple Twilight-vampire murder scene.
Now, let me cast a doubt on your most precious day, “Dad,” if that’s what the little sticky-fingered heathens are calling you.
Take a really good look at that kid. The one – who like some Pavlovian dog – wants ice cream every time he/she hears bells. The one who seems to outgrow shoes every 18 hours and who loses his/her retainer every other week. The one who bit you when you were trying to leave the park the other day and vomited all over your car’s interior like some twisted Dr. Moreau sprinkler system gone awry.
It’s not too late to get a cool present for Dad. But another necktie for Father’s Day? Seriously? Does he even WEAR neckties except for funerals or court? But he eats, am I right? So make him a napkin necktie — the spork of dining fashion. This video shows you how.
Father and Son Chile-Eating Contest: Quién es más macho? The East Pocho Optimists Club once again sets up shop at Fernando Valenzuela Field for their annual chile-eating contest, which pits father-son teams against each other to see who can ascend the Picante Podium of Pain. The winning team wins even more chile! Sunday, noon. Bronche: [...]