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(PNS reporting from PENNSYLVANIA) Crickett Firearms has recalled My First Rifle over safety concerns about the toxic paint used to coat the firearms.
“Our kids’ safety is utmost, so we are pulling some of our children’s weapons, especially the brightly-colored Hello Kitty model,” says Crickett spokesperson Wes Smithson. [Mas…]
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America’s observance of Cinco de Mayo on Sunday was the “most dangerous ever” according to a report released here today by the National Institute of Holidays (NIH.)
A record 1378 emergency room visits by gringos failing the “chile challenge” were reported by the group as well as 287 “chancla accidents.” [Mas…]
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(PNS reporting from SAN NABISCO) Thanks to the National Rifle Association, half-cocked men around the U.S. can get a leg up when it comes to gun safety AND making their dicks bigger.
The NRA’s new Glocks for Cocks program enables men with extra-small johnsons to exchange their firearms for penis enlargement surgery.
NRA president David Keene told reporters here Tuesday that he is happy to finally be honest about his gun obsession and also his extremely small penis.
“Look, this wasn’t easy, OK? I guess it’s no secret now that my penis is very small…I’m talking microscopic here. It actually tucks up insid…never mind. I am happy to report that I have given up a large portion of my armory and I am looking forward to finally having a big dick! I am hoping more small-dicked, gun-crazed NRA members follow my lead. God bless America!” Keene said. [Mas…]
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