illegal

GOP seeks Hispanic vote, taps Seagal for ‘You’re Busted, Beaner!’

by S.J. Rivera April 2, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Republicans scared to death worried about the GOP’s ridiculously awful poor standing with Hispanic non-Mexican-American voters have launched an election-year scramble to put a better spin on their party’s immigration problem. Their solution? A TV reality show starring Hollywood flunkie and all-around jackass, Steven Seagal. Seagal leads the list of C-level [...]

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Mississippi bill would require ‘green cards’ from Pocho Ricans

by S.J. Rivera March 22, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from OLE MISS) Inspired by the members of the University of Southern Mississippi marching band, state legislators passed a harsh new anti-immigration measure Wednesday and expect the bill to pass the Senate and be signed into law soon by Gov. Phil Bryant. HB 488 requires law enforcement to investigate the immigration status of any [...]

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Al Madrigal goes to a strip mall for a $40 ‘Thai Massage’ (NSFW)

by Comic Saenz March 16, 2012 Cultura
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His neck really hurt and he had a big show coming up, so happily-married POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal (AKA Señor Latino Correspondent for The Daily Show) went to a nearby strip mall for a $40 so-called “Thai Massage.” (NSFW — adult situations and language.)

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ICE unveils first-ever resort-style hotel for immigrant detainees

by S.J. Rivera March 16, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEJAS) U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is opening what they call the first-ever “resort-style hotel” for immigrant detainees. Critics are calling the new Karnes County (TX) Civil Detention Center a “prison for profit” but ICE is marketing it as a migrant “destination” with “vast amenities” that [...]

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Operation Wet Parachute: U.S. to drop Mexican deportees from planes

by S.J. Rivera February 29, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) In an effort to “adapt to current budget realities,” the Federales of Los United Estates will begin flying deported immigrants back to Mexico and dropping them from airplanes over their home states. This plan, dubbed Operation Wet Parachute, is the brainchild of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano who said yesterday she [...]

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Arizona Sheriff Paul Babeu demands probe by long arm of law

by Victor Payan February 24, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from PENILE COUNTY, ARIZONA) Brand-new gay GOP Sheriff Paul Babeu has called for a big nasty probe of himself and his ex-boyfriend, now identified as Jose Orozco, an undocumented immigrant from Mexico. The camera-loving anti-immigrant Sheriff — who just recently resigned from the Romney campaign — insisted on full and willing cooperation with [...]

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Daniel D. Portado: The 90s Are Back and So Am I! (video)

by Chuq El-Hed February 22, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from ALTA CALIFORNIA) The original militant self-deportationist Daniel D. Portado is back and proud as punch that his ex-boss Pete Wilson has endorsed GOP wannabe Mitt Rammane. Romney has already advocated self-deportation, as Portado told Rachel Maddow, and that means Romney endorses Portado! “Attention mojados,” he warns in this video. “It’s time to [...]

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Sabado Pochonte Video: Welcome to 2040 on ‘The Other Side’

by Obeah Juan Xenobi February 18, 2012 Cultura
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Exterior, day: Destitute desert town in the year 2040. Audio: Spanish newsradio tells the story — unemployment is 86%, gangs are everywhere and food and water are getting scarce. There’s only one thing a father can do — smuggle his family across the border to the prosperous country on The Other Side.

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Alabama legislators to ‘import’ Canadian workers to fill jobs

by S.J. Rivera February 2, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from DIXIE) In a move to avoid further financial ruin and humiliation, Alabama legislators are considering an unusual measure called the “Canuck Program” that would “import” laborers from Canadia to fill empty Alabama jobs. Immigrant Mexican labor has all but disappeared from the Alabama landscape and the state has lost $10.8 billion in [...]

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Meet Daniel D. Portado, the original ‘self-deportationist’

by Sara Inés Calderón January 31, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from CYBERESPACE) Although Mitt Romney has lately been in the news for promoting self-deportation, there is someone who beat him to the concept back in the 1990s — Daniel D. Portado. The self-proclaimed “original self-deportationist” encouraged others to follow his example and self-deport during California’s brush with anti-immigration legislation in the 1990s. In [...]

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