jan brewer

justbrewerbigArizona Governor Jan Brewer won’t run again, she announced Wednesday, but said her retirement as governor won’t put an end to her dreams.

“A mule is an animal with long funny ears,” she told an audience at a school in Glendale, AZ,  “she kicks up at anything she hears. Her back is brawny and her brain is weak, she’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak. So when I walk out of this school, I’ll still remain a stupid mule.”

There are Pocho Ocho items on her bucket list, Brewja said:

8. Realize her dream of starting a clothing optional retreat with Sheriff Joe Arpaio

7. Spend more time with her coven

6. Convince George Lucas to cast her as Evil Yoda in the next Star Wars movie [Mas…]

Behold, The Hectors©, bestowed for Excellence in Mockability.

The Hectors© are named for POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’ cousin Hector (photo), who is excellent at ruining family gatherings, especially when he has downed his third 12-pack. He hasn’t seen a film since Blood In, Blood Out.

And the Hector© goes to:

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cucastopandfrisk

napolitano600(PNS reporting from BERKELEY) Department of Homeland Security Secretary (and former Arizona Governor) Janet Napolitano has accepted an offer to head up the University of California system.

Napolitano promised to do the same for the UC system that she did for the border during her time at DHS:

“I kept out and quashed as many Mexicans as any DHS Secretary could during my tenure, and now that Latinos are overtaking whites in California, I promise to do the same at the UC system,” she said in a statement. [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Gov. Jan Brewer has signed into law a bill banning the state’s schools from teaching Chechen Studies classes, defined as history, anthropology and literature courses designed to teach the stories, histories, struggles and triumphs of the Chechen people through their own unique perspectives.

The bill (HB2013) passed by the Legislature states that schools will lose state funding if they offer any courses that “promote the overthrow of the U.S. government, promote resentment of a particular race or class of people, are designed primarily for students of a particular ethnic group, advocate ethnic solidarity or just plain educate the students.” [Mas…]

Spring began at 7:02 EDT this morning as the Northern Hemisphere marked the Vernal Equinox. But if you’re not looking at a calendar, how would you know? Here are the pocho ocho best ways to tell that Spring has sprung:

8. Muslim Brotherhood now wears sundresses to Arab Spring protests and violent crackdowns

7. Hunger-striking Guantanamo Bay prisoners are working on their tans

6. Jan Brewer goes wild in Baja with the sorority sisters of Kappa Kappa Kappa [Mas…]

Now showing: ‘The Arizona Chainsaw Massacre’ (toon)

by ERIC J. GARCIA February 20, 2013 Cartoons
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Caption this photo: [Edward James Olmos and Friend(s)]

by Lalo Alcaraz February 4, 2013 El Now
Thumbnail image for Caption this photo: [Edward James Olmos and Friend(s)]

Caption this photo in the comments section below. Reportedly it was posted to Twitter by AZ Cardinals’ wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald.

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Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s new plan: Arm AZ kids with grenade launchers

by Santino J. Rivera December 31, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Last week, Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne proposed putting a gun in the hands of at least one kindergartner in every school and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is running with the idea. “America’s toughest sheriff” wants a grenade launcher for every student. According to Sheriff Joe, after he puts armed posse members near schools, he […]

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Top Pendejos of 2012: AZ’s Gov. Jan Brewer and Sheriff Joe Arpaio

by EDUARDO BURRO December 17, 2012 El Now
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We tried to pick just one Top Pendejo of 2012 but we ended up with two, both from the Hate State of Arizona: Gov. Jan Brewja and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. The witchy woman has taken every opportunity to lie, defame, harass and impede President Obama, Mexican-American Arizonans, a woman’s right to choose, Dreamers’ […]

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Ñewsweek: LOST GOV Jan Brewja, boobs, San Diego billboard

by Comic Saenz December 9, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Ñewsweek: LOST GOV Jan Brewja, boobs, San Diego billboard

When Jan Brewja, governor of the Hate State of Arizona (photo,right), officially announced her absence from the jurisdiction, concerned Americans began a desperate search for LOST GOV, posting flyers on telephone polls and all over the Internets. Her mysterious disappearance almost overshadowed the shocking revelation of Iowa’s Brian Peterson, who finally had to come to […]

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Gov. Jan Brewer and Arizona’s asinus aspirations aplenty

by Mauricio 'Mo' Hernandez, Esq. December 7, 2012 El Now
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Despite the clamoring of dozens of its citizens, officials recently turned back the equus asinus aspirations of a donkey as candidate for a seat in the Ecuadorean National Assembly. Regrettably, the canny citizens of Guayaquil, Ecuador were denied their electoral ends — to register a donkey aptly named “Mr. Donkey” to run for the national […]

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Have you seen her? Search for LOST GOV takes it to the streets (photo)*

by Especial Correspondents December 5, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Have you seen her? Search for LOST GOV takes it to the streets (photo)*

Concerned Americans across this great nation covered telephone poles with flyers today as the search for missing Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ) galvanized the citizenry. Have you seen a flyer in your neighborhood? Have you spotted Brewer? Email a photo to info@pocho.com and we’ll get it online ASAP. Need a flyer to print and post yourself? […]

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Lost Governor! Please print and share!

by Lalo Alcaraz December 4, 2012 Cartoons
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Governor Janet Brewer of Arizona has gone missing. Please help by printing out and sharing this poster. RELATED: Where the *(&^%$# is Jan Brewer?

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Where in the &*+@# is Jan Brewer? The Pocho Ocho places…

by Especial Correspondents December 4, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Where in the &*+@# is Jan Brewer? The Pocho Ocho places…

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is MISSING. Before you uncork the champagne, and before she comes back from her one-week vanishing, here’s the Pocho Ocho places Jan Brewer COULD BE: 8. At the Rawlings factory getting her skin re-laced 7. In Georgia filming the lead zombie role in “Walking Dead” 6. At a private correctional prison junket […]

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Pocho Ocho escariest Halloween costumes

by Especial Correspondents October 31, 2012 Cultura
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Your mileage may vary, of course, but these costumes will scare the hell out of some people in the neighborhood: 8. Lance Armstrong 7. Jerry Sandusky 6. Sheriff Joe Arpaio 5. Gov. Jan Brewja

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CA’s Jerry Brown vetoes ‘Trust Act,’ AZ’s Jan Brewer approves

by Barney Asada October 1, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer has deemed California Gov. Jerry Brown an honorary citizen following his veto of the Golden State’s Trust Act which would have ended deportation of undocumented immigrants busted for minor offenses. ¡AltoArizona! reports: Jan Brewer, Arizona’s governor notorious for her signing of the state’s racial profiling bill, SB1070, […]

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Sheriff Joe gears up for tough re-election battle, reveals secret weapon

by Santino J. Rivera September 14, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Sheriff Joe gears up for tough re-election battle, reveals secret weapon

(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) Arizona’s toughest sheriff, Joe Arpaio, might soon be known as Arizona’s fiercest sheriff. Arpaio is gearing up for what he expects will be the toughest of his five re-election campaigns and he is pulling out all the stops this time by revealing his alter ego, “KoKo.” No stranger to controversy, Arpaio […]

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