Before Al Madrigal got rich and famous as POCHO’s Migrant Editor (and Senior Latino Correspondent for The Daily Show) he spent time on the road as a stand-up comedian, always trying to become a better Mexican. Here he is in 2010, as seen in 3 Non Juans. (NSFW language.)
It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPad. So as a public service we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to make your Black Friday quest successful, if not totally safe and sane:
8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.
7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.
6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas. [Mas…]
Yo, Abeuelita, sup?
In my wayward youth I was a gangbanger and have the bullet wounds, knife scars and tats to prove it. But those days are over and I’m now a legally-employed husband and dad with two kids.
The shorties are getting big enough to where they will soon begin to ask me questions about these things and I don’t know what exactly to say. What did you tell your kids about your tattoos and bullet wounds (if you have any?) Signed: X Loco
Dear X Loco,
Thank your lucky estrella tattoos I didn’t know you as a gangbanger chavalon otherwise you’d have a lot more wounds to explain. Don’t worry, I’m not going to smack you across the coco with an Abuelita Reality Chancla for anything you’ve done in the past. It appears you’ve had your share of hard knocks as it is.
Kids aren’t stupid, eventually they will dig up some old MySpace page with photos of you and your homies showing off your bullet wounds and tattoos. [Mas…]