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Our new friend Aury Martinez is back with an educational video about the art and craft of eye makeup and its role in maintaining group identity while simultaneously celebrating individual personality, and other deep shit like that. (Totally NSFW language.) Aury’s on Twitter.
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We know some of you are morons or racists or both. Different strokes, meng, different strokes. It’s cool. Here’s a transcript of the speech on immigration that Bronco Bama just delivered in Las Vegas, translated into easy-to-understand Moron. Just for you!
(APPLAUSE)
Dank you. It is good t’ be back in Las Begas.
And it is good t’ be among so many good friends. Let – let me start off by dankigg ebehybody at Del Sol High School f’ hostigg us.
(APPLAUSE)
Go Dragons. Let me especial dank your outstandigg principal, Lisa Primos (ph).
(APPLAUSE)
Dehe are all kinds of notaggle guests hehe, uh uh uh, but I dgust want t’ minion a few. Firss of all, our outstandigg secret of de Departmin of Homeland Security, Dganet Napolitano, is hehe. [Mas…]
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People come to POCHO for unexpected reasons, or at least reasons we never expected. Did they see a link on Facebook (most of our traffic starts there)? Did they get a link in email? Did they see something on Twitter? Did they search with Google? Did a link on another site lead to POCHO?
We like it best when PNS Pocho Ñews Service stories snare the unwary — it’s like we have passed the “truthiness” sniff test and our faux news seems real enough to make people believe.
We get thousands of visitors looking for a certain fictitious Vegas casino, pit bull owners concerned about their breed’s reputation and gossip-lovers seeking the latest news about Eve Mendes.
Do these random visitors know where they ended up? [Mas…]
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¡Guadalajara, Guadalajara!
Vicente Fernandez, Los Grammys and the continuing adventures of presidential hopeful @MexicanMitt were the big stories this week on POCHO:
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(PNS reporting from LAS VEGAS) Soon-to-retire Mexican recording legend Vicente Fernandez is opening a mariachi-themed casino in Las Vegas. Designed to cash in on the immense popularity of such large-scale theme casinos as “New York, New York,” Fernandez said he expects to open his casino “Guadalajara, Guadalajara” by the end of the year.
The casino, which will be shaped like a giant cactus, will feature a miniature Rancho Grande, live charreadas, rooster fights, fandangos and hourly displays of bravado and machismo, according to “Chente,” who announced his plans for retirement yesterday. [Mas…]
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