Pocho Ocho Top Ways to Decolonize Your Diet

corn-maizDecolonizing your diet is more than a trendy Chicanx meme, it’s a book, and a chingon idea.

If you want to just say “No!” to the comida of the Conquistadors and eat what Tlaloc intended — the authentic food of your ancestors — here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways to Decolonize Your Diet:

8. Take the milk out of chocolate and put the chile back in

7. Honor the Aztecs and eat more of Moctezuma’s gold

6. Chihuahua on a stick

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Ways to Decolonize Your Diet

This is your anti-immigrant GOP House of Representatives on GIFs

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From the party who brought you

REPUBLICAN LETTER TO IRAN!

No shit. We grabbed all the text and images from your House Judiciary Committee’s website as soon as we saw it so we could present it to you in all its animated GIF-y wonder. We made it better, though, since the GOP geeks apparently don’t know how to resize GIFS, even though they’re all GIFs of white people! And they do not — I REPEAT DO NOT — like President Obama’s executive actions on immigration.

This webpage is called “AT THE FLICK OF A SWITCH”

¡Mira!


Mar 18 2015

1. Right now, one single person – the President of the United States – can turn off the enforcement of our immigration laws unilaterally. For real.

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Mas…This is your anti-immigrant GOP House of Representatives on GIFs

Adventures of Kim Jong-Un: He so talent, he so strong (video, photos)


Just a few seconds into The Adventures of Kim Jong-Un, it’s clear he so talent, he so strong. Give the guy credit.

And before the Kimster blows us all to Hell, please enjoy these photos our reporter in North Korea (moi) smuggled out earlier this year:

Mas…Adventures of Kim Jong-Un: He so talent, he so strong (video, photos)

Taco Bell reveals secret 12% ingredients in 88% ‘beef’ tacos

dogeingredientsIt’s not news that the “beef” in Taco Bell’s “beef” tacos was only 88% actual “beef.” POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano was all over that years ago. But wassup with the other 12%?

The mystery ended Tuesday as the fast-food chain came clean about the secret ingredients which the company says are all “completely safe and approved by the FDA.”

“They do have weird names,” Taco Bell wrote on its website, ”perfect for tongue twisters!…They’re common ingredients also found in food items at your grocery store.”

As a public service, we’re happy to present the complete list, as if any of you pochos go to Taco Bell at all:

Mas…Taco Bell reveals secret 12% ingredients in 88% ‘beef’ tacos

Breaking: Fake Facebook post changes Fort Worth man’s life

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(PNS reporting from FORT WORTH, TX) Leon Ortiz (photo, center) was scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed last week when he saw a post that changed his life forever. The post, co-authored by former President Bill Clinton (photo, left) and pop star Kayne West (photo, right), celebrated the importance of following your dreams.

“You know, I think it was Fate — with a capital ‘F.’ It was 3:42 PM on a Thursday and I was feeling frustrated at my account manager job at an international insurance company. I felt a spiritual lightness I had never experienced before,” the Arlington Heights man told PNS.

“It was amazing, like all my ennui and weltschmerz was gone!”

Mas…Breaking: Fake Facebook post changes Fort Worth man’s life

MADDEF rates 2013 a ‘Mestizo Year’ for Chihuahuas in media, online

brains(PNS reporting from BEVERLY HILLS) 2013 was a “Mestizo Year” for Chihuahuas in the media, according to the Mexican American Dog Defense and Education Fund’s (MADDEF) annual It’s A Dog’s Life report released here Monday.

The study carefully tallies and grades Chihuahua representations in pop culture (TV, radio, Internets, books, newspapers, magazines, videos, pop music, video games, etc.), scientifically sniffing the butt of America’s complicated relationship with the popular canine.

2013’s record was mixed, the group lamented, and the prospect of increased levels of anti-Chihuahua defamation in 2014 “remains troubling, especially in cyberspace, where mocking the perritos has become a viral ‘meme.'”

Since the death of superstar Gidget the Taco Bell Chihuahua in 2006, the image of all Chihuahuas has been on the decline, the study noted, presenting this widely-circulated and ignorantly-misspeeled illustration of an alleged “zombie” Chihuahua as just one piece of evidence (photo, right.)

Mas…MADDEF rates 2013 a ‘Mestizo Year’ for Chihuahuas in media, online

Exclusive: Obama preps ‘zingers’ for debate with Romney (photo)

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Pres. Barack Obama, stung by criticism of his lackluster performance in the first debate, is hard at work prepping for tonight’s encounter with Gov. Mitt Romney. Sources tell PNS that First Lady Michelle Obama is helping out with flashcards of “zingers” and furnished this exclusive photo.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT.  DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

BFFs Mitt, Darryl visit Latino sites for Hispanic Heritage Month (photos)

They hooked up Tuesday when the candidate visited a Denver-area Chipotle.

Then GOP presidential candidate and Latino-lover Mitt Romney and new BFF Darryl went on a bromance tour of other important Latino institutions to mark Hispanic Heritage Month, as seen in this photo of their visit to Sophia Vergara’s breasts. (She recently described her chi-chis as a “pain in the ass.“)

Inspired by Vergara, the duo made a few more estops:

Mas…BFFs Mitt, Darryl visit Latino sites for Hispanic Heritage Month (photos)

Opinion: We must fight the anti-Mayan Calendar Illuminati 1% (video)

We might not know anything about them, but Anonymous knows almost everything about us, including stuff THE MAN doesn’t want YOU to know.

The modishly-masked online crusaders will soon shock our chakras with the truth about apocalyptic confluences predicted by the Mayan Calendar and aether-entities from outer espace. Predictably, the Mainstream Media New World Order 1% Wall Street Ivy League Illuminati White Elite is fighting back.

The recent Anonymous blipvert above, for example, was followed by UPenn (founded by life on Mars expert and immigrant hater Benjamin Franklin) joining the Illuminati conspiracy to discredit the Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 scenario.

One group of chronology-challenged eschatologists even claimed that a recently-discovered calendar — which is older than the Doomsday Calendar — somehow makes the newer calendar wrong. Doh! Illogical!

Mas…Opinion: We must fight the anti-Mayan Calendar Illuminati 1% (video)