miami

Many have you have written in and asked about Elise Roedenbeck’s MiJA WEEKLY video series and why it disappeared.

We have good news and bad news. Bad news first: There will be no more MiJA WEEKLY.

The good news? Important people in the Network Television World were so taken with Elise and MiJA WEEKLY that they stole her away from us and moved her to Miami where she is joining the new ABC/Univision TV network FUSION.

Felicidades to our hermana Elise and “break a leg” as we say in eshow business.

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POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón in Los Angeles and New Jack City Burro Jefe Elise Roedenbeck got together in audioland to see if they could figure out WTF is up with guys and their weird catcalls and come-ons. Is it different in New York vs. L.A.? Are Spanish catcalls different from English? What’s a guera to do?

Pochas: Do their stories sound familiar to you? Leave your comments below! (NSFW adult language.)

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) It took a lot of burning sage, cedar, sweetgrass and tobacco, but Tymangoua, the first Native American murdered by a gun in what is now the United States, delivered a message from the spirit world to Washington:

Getting shot and killed sucks!

Indigenous Peoples Against Gun Violence (IPAG) introduced Tymangoua to a press conference here Monday.

IPAG president Lauren Ko’n-Za explained:

Gun violence is not a recent phenomenon. It has existed for hundreds of years and indigenous people like Taymangoua were the first victims. Tymangoua was murdered on Sept. 14, 1513, by Spanish sailors looking to enslave him on the shores of Biscayne Bay in what is now Miami.

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(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Restrictions that kept Cubans from fleeing the island for half a century will be lifted, according to the Communist Party Central Committee’s official newspaper, Granma.

And in a candid interview, America’s favorite Latino rebel Fidel Castro was asked how he felt America would respond to the new policy and expected exodus. He replied simply: “Fuck ‘em.”

“As part of the work under way to update the current migratory policy and adjust it to the conditions of the present and the foreseeable future, the Cuban government, in exercise of its sovereignty, has decided to again flood Miami with even more of our people because fuck America. How you like me now, bitches?” Castro told PNS. [Mas…]

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Pocho Ocho reasons Romney appeared so ‘dark’ on Univision

by Especial Correspondents September 20, 2012 El Now
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The Internets are buzzing with questions about about Gov. Mitt Romney’s appearance on last night’s Univision forum live from Miami. Digerati are confused about what he said AND how he looked. POCHO’s Campaign Team 2012 was online all night handling their news sources to find the Pocho Ocho reasons the candidate looked so dark-skinned: 8. [...]

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Romney gets especial love at El Palacio de los Jugos in Miami (video)

by Andalé Mono August 24, 2012 El Now
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When GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney visited El Palacio de los Jugos in Miami earlier this month, he was greeted by the owner, a convicted Koch coke dealer, and an excited, vocal crowd. Angel Reyes was there and shot this video.

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PochoCast #5: Alcaraz y Madrigal on face-chewing and boobs (NSFW)

by EDUARDO BURRO June 11, 2012 Audio
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POCHO primos Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and Migrant Editor Al Madrigal chop, channel and lower the ñews: Miami munchies and Canadian cannibals Salma Hayek’s boob optimization POCHO web traffic Wisconsin recall Organized labor Lalo’s copyright trouble on Facebook These kids today – Produced by Jefe de Creative Marcelo Ziperovich. (NSFW language.)

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Ñewsweek: Old-school remedios, to live and dine Miami y mas

by Comic Saenz June 3, 2012 El Now
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When in Miami, there’s more to eat than face, grandmother knows best when it comes fixing your boo-boo, Mexican Mitt Romney is the “last juan standing,” the Smithsonian immortalizes the Nike Cortez and Florida’s voter fraud crackdown actually snares an actual fraudster. A busy week of ñews taxed our overworked POCHO estaff, but we’ve got [...]

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Florida voter fraud crackdown finally snares a live one

by Elise Roedenbeck June 1, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Even as the U.S. Department of Justice seeks to shut down Florida’s effort to disenfranchise voters, state officials are overjoyed that their purge of voter role has finally nabbed a real fraud, even if their case is a dog. Much to the relief of Republican witch-hunters who were under fire [...]

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First George Zimmerman Prize goes to fellow Florida racist

by Elise Roedenbeck May 31, 2012 El Now
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I am compelled to award the first George Zimmerman Prize for Ignorant Racism to Joaquin Amador Serrapio, the Miami college student who threatened on Facebook to assassinate Pres. Barack Obama. Serrapio recently pleaded guilty to threatening the president’s life but claimed that he simply aimed to rile up Obama supporters on the Internets. In other [...]

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