Happy belated St. Paddy’s Day, pochos! Hope you’re not too hung over. This week on MiJA, Godzilla does not make an appearance at CPAC, I offer the new pope some sound advice, and hot Brazilian guys mess with my mind! Also, I wear glasses to look esmart.
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
When Michigan Gov. George Romney‘s GOP presidential nomination campaign came to the New York World’s Fair in 1964 (photo, left, with son Mitt) an intense young wannabe TV reporter named Gerry Riviera was on the scene.
The nice Jewish boy from Brooklyn was confused after his college experience at the University of Arizona. He had been strangely at home in the desert Southwest, but was still a gefilte fish out of water. What to do with his life?
“I was born to American parents in Mexico,” Romney told reporters as he toured the crumbling, deeply-indebted Spanish Pavilion. “In some ways, it would be helpful to be Latino.” Son Mitt nodded his head in agreement. [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Thousands of Americans were rushed to hospitals across the country last night as the result of a “presidential debate drinking games” gone horribly wrong, according to news reports.
The games, promoted by the @DebateBlitz Twitter account, asked people to drink a shot of alcohol any time a percentage was mentioned, or the words “jobs” or “taxes” were used by either candidate.
Ted Keilah, a sophomore at San Diego State University, was the first reported casualty of the game, when friends called 911 at 6:20 PM PDT, during Gov. Mitt Romney’s opening remarks.
“Ted was one of the lucky ones,” said dorm mate Ron de Cuba. “By the final handshake, people were passed out all over the floor, and the bathroom was a bigger mess than the Romney campaign.” [Mas…]
It was the best of ñewsweeks, it was the worst of ñewsweeks. It was a week of wisdom, it was a week of foolishness. The Best: On HBO, George Lopez told Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio WTF he really thinks of him and the offended officer challenged the comic to a face-to-face discussion of the issues. […]
La Chata’s Music Box recommends Brooklyn Afrobeat band Antibalas’ incisive musical explanation of the corrupting effects of corporate influence on American society: Dirty Money. Also, it has a good beat and it’s easy to dance to. Plus puppets!
Mexican Mitt Romney just spoke to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People convention in Houston, TX and we have the transcript: —BEGIN TRANSCRIPT— Thank you, NAACP for the invitation to espeak here, and Bishop Graves for your introduction. Thanks also to President Ben Jealous and your weird last name. Good mornings, black […]
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) In an attempt to capitalize on the political gains made by Pres. Barack Obama’s support for gay marriage, Florida GOP senator and possible VP candidate Marco Rubio has revamped his unpopular DREAM Act alternative. The original federal DREAM Act allowed undocumented youth brought here as minors a path to citizenship […]
Barack Hussein Obama’s biggest donors and best crony capitalist friends at JP Morgan Chase recently lost over two billion dollars in risky trades. Instead of wailing about this so-called “Wall Street reform” nonsense, I have decided to open my own bank and mega Wall Street trading firm: JP Mormon. At JP Mormon, we promise to […]