“I will do just about anything to win in Arizona’s heavily Hispanic 7th Congressional District,” Chavez said in a press release, “including rising from the grave if that’s what it takes.”
A Chavez spokesman said the newly-registered Democratic candidate (until recently a two-time Republican loser) had been “flooded with calls” and was no longer speaking to the press, but if he did decide to answer questions, he would not discuss how he came back from the dead or what the afterlife is like. [Mas…]
Happy belated St. Paddy’s Day, pochos! Hope you’re not too hung over. This week on MiJA, Godzilla does not make an appearance at CPAC, I offer the new pope some sound advice, and hot Brazilian guys mess with my mind! Also, I wear glasses to look esmart.
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
When Michigan Gov. George Romney‘s GOP presidential nomination campaign came to the New York World’s Fair in 1964 (photo, left, with son Mitt) an intense young wannabe TV reporter named Gerry Riviera was on the scene.
The nice Jewish boy from Brooklyn was confused after his college experience at the University of Arizona. He had been strangely at home in the desert Southwest, but was still a gefilte fish out of water. What to do with his life?
“I was born to American parents in Mexico,” Romney told reporters as he toured the crumbling, deeply-indebted Spanish Pavilion. “In some ways, it would be helpful to be Latino.” Son Mitt nodded his head in agreement. [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Thousands of Americans were rushed to hospitals across the country last night as the result of a “presidential debate drinking games” gone horribly wrong, according to news reports.
The games, promoted by the @DebateBlitz Twitter account, asked people to drink a shot of alcohol any time a percentage was mentioned, or the words “jobs” or “taxes” were used by either candidate.
Ted Keilah, a sophomore at San Diego State University, was the first reported casualty of the game, when friends called 911 at 6:20 PM PDT, during Gov. Mitt Romney’s opening remarks.
“Ted was one of the lucky ones,” said dorm mate Ron de Cuba. “By the final handshake, people were passed out all over the floor, and the bathroom was a bigger mess than the Romney campaign.” [Mas…]
La Chata’s Music Box recommends Brooklyn Afrobeat band Antibalas’ incisive musical explanation of the corrupting effects of corporate influence on American society: Dirty Money. Also, it has a good beat and it’s easy to dance to. Plus puppets!
Mexican Mitt Romney just spoke to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People convention in Houston, TX and we have the transcript: —BEGIN TRANSCRIPT— Thank you, NAACP for the invitation to espeak here, and Bishop Graves for your introduction. Thanks also to President Ben Jealous and your weird last name. Good mornings, black […]
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) In an attempt to capitalize on the political gains made by Pres. Barack Obama’s support for gay marriage, Florida GOP senator and possible VP candidate Marco Rubio has revamped his unpopular DREAM Act alternative. The original federal DREAM Act allowed undocumented youth brought here as minors a path to citizenship […]
Barack Hussein Obama’s biggest donors and best crony capitalist friends at JP Morgan Chase recently lost over two billion dollars in risky trades. Instead of wailing about this so-called “Wall Street reform” nonsense, I have decided to open my own bank and mega Wall Street trading firm: JP Mormon. At JP Mormon, we promise to […]
“If the chancla flies, your mom is wise,” noted defense attorney Juan E. Cocran told the court, and we’ve got video to prove it. The epic flying chanclas video topped the list of big estories on POCHO this week, but only just squeezed out the Mexclusive guest editorial by GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney, […]
As reported by the Miami Herald, there are about 8,000 reasons why Mitt Romney might not pick Florida’s Teabbagged Sen. Marco Rubio for as his running mate. Here are the top eight: 8. Sin Papeles. He’s illegal! It’s debatable who has the wetter back since Romney is from Mexico but Rubio is just as undocumented […]
Back from the dead and “live” on stage, Holographic Tupac Shakur was a big sensation at Coachella. Never really alive, and dead on stage, Mitt Romney is a mediocre “meh” across America. That’s why GOP political insiders are urging the superwealthy robotic candidate to pick Holographic Tupac as his vice presidential running mate. Holographic Tupac, […]
It’s no secret that Mitt “Self Deportation” Romney is not Latinos’ favorite presidential hopeful. Stephen Colbert explains the political realities and introduces a new Mitt Romney TV commercial. POCHO has a Mexican Mitt Romney commercial too — and it’s a music video (below).
The Romney campaign is one built on strong policy principles, unless, of course, they need to change them to pander to primary voters. “Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes,” Romney campaign advisor Eric Fehrnstrom said Wednesday on CNN. “It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can […]
POCHO’s ñews team started the week in glossy Hollyweird and ended up scraping the crap off their shoes near Rush Limbaugh’s headquarters in La Floridita, but the big story of the week was the release of Mexican Mitt Romney’s music video/camapaign commercial. Will the GOP wannabe become the nation’s first Latino president? And why does […]
[If you liked the video, you can now own the song. Get it on iTunes ahora! Mexican Mitt's "(I Wanna Be) The First Latino President" ] After sweeping both Arizona and Michigan –– he says it’s because the gringos won’t do it -– a certain South-of-the-Border candidate is clearing his way to “paint the White […]
The Hate State of Arizona was the scene of three big stories this week: GOP wannabe Mitt Rammane’s campaign pulled another boner as the campaign co-chair, immigrant-hating sheriff Paul Babeu, tried to explain his way out of allegations he threatened his Mexican immigrant boyfriend with deportation. Babeu resigned from the campaign but not before Pocho […]
We already know mummy-like AZ Gov. Jan Brewer gets absolutely unraveled whenever she’s near Pres. Barack Obama. But why exactly did she decline to attend tomorrow’s Governor’s Dinner at the White House? Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons Brewer did not accept the President’s invitation: 8- They could not guarantee her a seat next to […]
In Hollywood, they say, Oscar is king. So why didn’t POCHO get invited to the king’s Big Night Out? 8. All the valet gigs are sewn up by Telemundo producers. 7. They only invite Hispanics with the right attitude, with good credit and who play well with others. 6. There is an industry ban on pastel […]