mitt romney


With the midterm election over, President Obama’s plan to use his executive powers to ease immigration issues for DREAMers, Central American refugees and others has Republicans up in arms about so-called “amnesty.”

Obama is “shredding the Constitution,” they claim, and even Mitt Romney, for Pete’s sake, has to remind Obama that he, Obama, is a loser. Jon Stewart and The Daily Show — with the help of Fox News — explain the big picture.

{ 0 comments }

newchavez(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Cesar Chavez — noted American farm worker, labor leader and civil rights activist — is back from the dead and running for the congressional seat being vacated by retiring Rep. Ed Pastor (D-AZ).

“I will do just about anything to win in Arizona’s heavily Hispanic 7th Congressional District,” Chavez said in a press release, “including rising from the grave if that’s what it takes.”

A Chavez spokesman said the newly-registered Democratic candidate (until recently a two-time Republican loser) had been “flooded with calls” and was no longer speaking to the press, but if he did decide to answer questions, he would not discuss how he came back from the dead or what the afterlife is like. [Mas…]


Happy belated St. Paddy’s Day, pochos! Hope you’re not too hung over. This week on MiJA, Godzilla does not make an appearance at CPAC, I offer the new pope some sound advice, and hot Brazilian guys mess with my mind! Also, I wear glasses to look esmart.

Leave me some questions below.


Enjoy the ELECTION EVE WORLD PREMIERE of Mexican Mitt Romney‘s first animated music video! Share it with your friends!


They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.

When Michigan Gov. George Romney‘s GOP presidential nomination campaign came to the New York World’s Fair in 1964 (photo, left, with son Mitt) an intense young wannabe TV reporter named Gerry Riviera was on the scene.

The nice Jewish boy from Brooklyn was confused after his college experience at the University of Arizona. He had been strangely at home in the desert Southwest, but was still a gefilte fish out of water. What to do with his life?

“I was born to American parents in Mexico,” Romney told reporters as he toured the crumbling, deeply-indebted Spanish Pavilion. “In some ways, it would be helpful to be Latino.” Son Mitt nodded his head in agreement. [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Thousands of Americans were rushed to hospitals across the country last night as the result of a “presidential debate drinking games” gone horribly wrong, according to news reports.

The games, promoted by the @DebateBlitz Twitter account, asked people to drink a shot of alcohol any time a percentage was mentioned, or the words “jobs” or “taxes” were used by either candidate.

Ted Keilah, a sophomore at San Diego State University, was the first reported casualty of the game, when friends called 911 at 6:20 PM PDT, during Gov. Mitt Romney’s opening remarks.

“Ted was one of the lucky ones,” said dorm mate Ron de Cuba. “By the final handshake, people were passed out all over the floor, and the bathroom was a bigger mess than the Romney campaign.” [Mas…]

A version of Mexican Mitt Romney’s RNC speech for tonight in Tampa has been leaked, and we have it mexclusively for you.


MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY RNC ESPEECH 8/30/12
------------
ENTER ON WHITE HORSE
(because Rafalca will trip)

(NOTE: If anyone throws peanuts, Chris Christie will not let those go to waste)
(REMEMBER to adjust sombrero, don't block the expensive background set)

AJUUUUUUA!

HELLO, TAMPAX!

No one has ever asked me for my birth certificate, because that's not what you ask rich white dudes.

Big shout out to Stripper Sarah Palin, see you at the afterparty tonight.

Thank you to all the espeakers, especially my vieja Annn Romney. She really loves you women. And she loves to Unzip The Mitt!

POLLO RYAN. Pinche Eddie Munster rules! The viejitas fear him, but he promises eternal life, just let him bite your Medicare.

CHRIS CRISPY IS THE ONLY HOMBRE I KNOW WHO DEEP FRIES HIS NAILS BEFORE HE CHEWS ON THEM.
[Mas…]

Ñewsweek: Lopez vs Arpaio, ‘Dark Knight’ toon and Comic-Con pics

by Bronco del Camino July 22, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Ñewsweek: Lopez vs Arpaio, ‘Dark Knight’ toon and Comic-Con pics

It was the best of ñewsweeks, it was the worst of ñewsweeks. It was a week of wisdom, it was a week of foolishness. The Best: On HBO, George Lopez told Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio WTF he really thinks of him and the offended officer challenged the comic to a face-to-face discussion of the issues. […]

[Mas…]

Antibalas asks: ‘Do you know where your money has been?’ (video)

by La Chata July 20, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Antibalas asks: ‘Do you know where your money has been?’ (video)

La Chata’s Music Box recommends Brooklyn Afrobeat band Antibalas’ incisive musical explanation of the corrupting effects of corporate influence on American society: Dirty Money. Also, it has a good beat and it’s easy to dance to. Plus puppets!

[Mas…]

Where in the world is Mitt Romney’s money? (cartoon)

by Lalo Alcaraz July 20, 2012 Cartoons
Thumbnail image for Where in the world is Mitt Romney’s money? (cartoon)

[Mas…]

Transcript: Mexican Mitt Romney’s speech to the NAACP

by Lalo Alcaraz July 11, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Transcript: Mexican Mitt Romney’s speech to the NAACP

Mexican Mitt Romney just spoke to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People convention in Houston, TX and we have the transcript: —BEGIN TRANSCRIPT— Thank you, NAACP for the invitation to espeak here, and Bishop Graves for your introduction. Thanks also to President Ben Jealous and your weird last name. Good mornings, black […]

[Mas…]

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FLA) proposes new DREAMY Act

by Lalo Alcaraz May 29, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FLA) proposes new DREAMY Act

(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) In an attempt to capitalize on the political gains made by Pres. Barack Obama’s support for gay marriage, Florida GOP senator and possible VP candidate Marco Rubio has revamped his unpopular DREAM Act alternative. The original federal DREAM Act allowed undocumented youth brought here as minors a path to citizenship […]

[Mas…]

Mitt Romney: I’m proud to announce my new bank, JP Mormon

by GOV. WILLARD MITT ROMNEY May 16, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Mitt Romney: I’m proud to announce my new bank, JP Mormon

Barack Hussein Obama’s biggest donors and best crony capitalist friends at JP Morgan Chase recently lost over two billion dollars in risky trades. Instead of wailing about this so-called “Wall Street reform” nonsense, I have decided to open my own bank and mega Wall Street trading firm: JP Mormon. At JP Mormon, we promise to […]

[Mas…]

Ñewsweek: Chanclas, foreskins, gay political football, meaning of life

by Comic Saenz May 13, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Ñewsweek: Chanclas, foreskins, gay political football, meaning of life

“If the chancla flies, your mom is wise,” noted defense attorney Juan E. Cocran told the court, and we’ve got video to prove it. The epic flying chanclas video topped the list of big estories on POCHO this week, but only just squeezed out the Mexclusive guest editorial by GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney, […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho reasons Romney won’t choose Marco Rubio for VP

by Santino J. Rivera May 2, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Pocho Ocho reasons Romney won’t choose Marco Rubio for VP

As reported by the Miami Herald, there are about 8,000 reasons why Mitt Romney might not pick Florida’s Teabbagged Sen. Marco Rubio for as his running mate. Here are the top eight: 8. Sin Papeles. He’s illegal! It’s debatable who has the wetter back since Romney is from Mexico but Rubio is just as undocumented […]

[Mas…]

Mitt Romney: Holographic Tupac is your best choice for VP!

by Lalo Alcaraz April 19, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Mitt Romney: Holographic Tupac is your best choice for VP!

Back from the dead and “live” on stage, Holographic Tupac Shakur was a big sensation at Coachella. Never really alive, and dead on stage, Mitt Romney is a mediocre “meh” across America. That’s why GOP political insiders are urging the superwealthy robotic candidate to pick Holographic Tupac as his vice presidential running mate. Holographic Tupac, […]

[Mas…]

Colbert to Romney: Run this commercial to get Latino votes

by SHAWN CLOTA April 5, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Colbert to Romney: Run this commercial to get Latino votes

It’s no secret that Mitt “Self Deportation” Romney is not Latinos’ favorite presidential hopeful. Stephen Colbert explains the political realities and introduces a new Mitt Romney TV commercial. POCHO has a Mexican Mitt Romney commercial too — and it’s a music video (below).

[Mas…]

Romney campaign tries to shake off Etch A Sketch remark

by Lalo Alcaraz March 23, 2012 Cartoons
Thumbnail image for Romney campaign tries to shake off Etch A Sketch remark

The Romney campaign is one built on strong policy principles, unless, of course, they need to change them to pander to primary voters. “Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes,” Romney campaign advisor Eric Fehrnstrom said Wednesday on CNN. “It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can […]

[Mas…]

POCHO Podcast #1: Lalo Alcaraz and Al Madrigal have words for you

by POCHO ESTAFF March 6, 2012 Audio
Thumbnail image for POCHO Podcast #1: Lalo Alcaraz and Al Madrigal have words for you

POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz (in Southern California) and Migrant Editor Al Madrigal (in New York) Skyped away last week for POCHO’s first coast-to-coast podcast.

[Mas…]

Ñewsweek: Hectors and actors and commentators oh my

by Comic Saenz March 4, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Ñewsweek: Hectors and actors and commentators oh my

POCHO’s ñews team started the week in glossy Hollyweird and ended up scraping the crap off their shoes near Rush Limbaugh’s headquarters in La Floridita, but the big story of the week was the release of Mexican Mitt Romney’s music video/camapaign commercial. Will the GOP wannabe  become the nation’s first Latino president? And why does […]

[Mas…]

Mexclusive: Mexican Mitt Romney for President (music video)

by Estaff Reporters March 2, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Mexclusive: Mexican Mitt Romney for President (music video)

[If you liked the video, you can now own the song. Get it on iTunes ahora! Mexican Mitt's  "(I Wanna Be) The First Latino President" ] After sweeping both Arizona and Michigan –– he says it’s because the gringos won’t do it -– a certain South-of-the-Border candidate is clearing his way to “paint the White […]

[Mas…]

Ñewsweek: AZ gay sheriff, ‘Sh¡t Latinos Don’t Say,’ Satan speaks

by Andalé Mono February 26, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Ñewsweek: AZ gay sheriff, ‘Sh¡t Latinos Don’t Say,’ Satan speaks

The Hate State of Arizona was the scene of three big stories this week: GOP wannabe Mitt Rammane’s campaign pulled another boner as the campaign co-chair, immigrant-hating sheriff Paul Babeu, tried to explain his way out of allegations he threatened his Mexican immigrant boyfriend with deportation. Babeu resigned from the campaign but not before Pocho […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho reasons Jan Brewer declined dinner at the White House

by Lalo Alcaraz February 25, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Pocho Ocho reasons Jan Brewer declined dinner at the White House

We already know mummy-like AZ Gov. Jan Brewer gets absolutely unraveled whenever she’s near Pres. Barack Obama. But why exactly did she decline to attend tomorrow’s Governor’s Dinner at the White House? Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons Brewer did not accept the President’s invitation: 8- They could not guarantee her a seat next to […]

[Mas…]