pocho

Angry area youth calls menudo ‘yucky,’ demands pizza

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menudokid(PNS reporting from ALTADENA) Javier “Flaco” Hernandez outraged his family Sunday night when he refused to eat his bowl of menudo.

“It’s yucky!” the 8-year-old shouted as he repeatedly banged his spoon on the dinner table and insisted on pizza instead.

Flaco’s refusal ticked off his mom, who had spent hours preparing the beef stomach broth in the kitchen of their tidy suburban Los Angeles County bungalow.

Mas…Angry area youth calls menudo ‘yucky,’ demands pizza

Al Madrigal is a coconut on a quest for identity: ‘Half Like Me’ (video)

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alcoconutPOCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal’s epic quest for identity — Half Like Me — debuts on FUSION next Thursday.

Coconut Madrigal (white inside, brown outside) knew turning an intensely personal journey into a docu-comedy wouldn’t be one easy trick, but he never anticipated what happened next.

“I set out to dial down my pocho level from a ten to a five,” he told POCHO in a text message Tuesday night, “and ultimately something much greater and unexpected happened. I ended up not giving a shit.”

“I encourage others to try it, feels great.”

Al got some help from three mostly-reliable sources:

Mas…Al Madrigal is a coconut on a quest for identity: ‘Half Like Me’ (video)

Cutty Flam’s new Spanglish ‘Sugga’ has space rocks, explosions! (video)

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SoCal pochos Cutty Flam say their music is the sound track to a 1950’s B-Movie starring Ritchie Valens opposite Betty Page directed by Quentin Tarantino. Señor Cutty sings and plays guitar, Ms. Bang Bangs kicks butt on vocals and drums and Chewy Lewy is the man on bass. In Sugga, a black and white home movie from the future, Cutty Flam saves themselves (or their body doubles) from a sky burst of meteorites with a white box of something that’s not wrapped in aluminum foil and doesn’t attract falling prop rocks. Also there is a greedy music promoter, a life support transfusion, a dead band member RIP, auditions, more aluminum foil and surf style guitar. We know — it’s everything you ever wanted in a music video. Plus Spanglish!

PREVIOUSLY ON CUTTY FLAM:

Mas…Cutty Flam’s new Spanglish ‘Sugga’ has space rocks, explosions! (video)

Hate Letter of the Day: Dear Lala, you racist hypocrite

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weirdal

Mexicans and Anglo Americans are exactly alike. You are just as racist Mejicanoh, oh wait, I mean, Chicano… Meixcan American… I forget, you don’t consider yourselves Mexican… or do you. You MeCHA Aztlanersss get me all confused. Or wait, you don’t consider yourselves Latino but rather.. MESSICAN!

ANYWAYS… so, as I was saying, you share the same RACIST views, in fact, you’re no different than right wing Caucasian Americans, whom at least are upfront about their racism and xenophobia, you’re more aligned with Liberal Democrats whom subversively are racist.

Mas...Hate Letter of the Day: Dear Lala, you racist hypocrite

White Boy ChIcano (a poem)

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whiteboychicanoWhite Boy Chicano

It’s an identity crisis

My parents are Mexican migrants, who stay busy all the time

Spanish is my first language, then almost losing it because of time

My TV only showed Mexicans involved in crime

The stereotypes didn’t represent me

My school peers didn’t believe me

I wasn’t Mexican or White

Being a gringo and Mehican left me asking,

Who am I? Where do I belong to?

Pinche White Boy

Mas…White Boy ChIcano (a poem)

Man disappointed with ‘What Selena Character are You?’ quiz result

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Yolanda Corpus 2(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) During his morning coffee break, local accountant, Lawrence “Lencho” Flores, completed a survey that appeared on his Facebook timeline called, What Selena Character are You? According to sources, Flores was deeply disappointed with the result of Yolanda Saldivar as his character.

According to the quiz, Flores is Yolanda Saldivar who “when you feel slighted, watch out!”

Mas…Man disappointed with ‘What Selena Character are You?’ quiz result

Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

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crossonlawn(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) Sara Maestas placed a two-foot-high cruz on her only son’s lawn early this morning — a cross in remembrance of his latest failed relationship.

The 32-year-old transactional lawyer got dumped Saturday night by his novia, less than 20 minutes after he blew off a dinner date. And now his mother’s white polystyrene cross, adorned with flowers, sits front and center on Benjamin Maestas’ lawn in Montrose.

Just before a scheduled 6 PM Saturday rendezvous at Hugo’s Regional Mexican Cuisine, girlfriend Vicki Gardea got a text from Maestas saying he couldn’t meet due to “a short deadline to close on a shopping center for a multinational client.”

Mas…Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

Are you a ‘Chipster’ (Chicano + hipster)? Pocho Ocho ways to tell

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Are you a Chipster (Chicano + hipster)? There are Pocho Ocho ways to tell. You might be a Chipster if…

8. You wear skinny jeans instead of Levi’s when swimming at the beach

7. You scored a medical marijuana prescription to protect you from the ojo

6. Your tricked-out chrome lowrider bike is a vintage Schwinn fixie

Mas…Are you a ‘Chipster’ (Chicano + hipster)? Pocho Ocho ways to tell

The Pocho Ocho top favorite ways racists try to tell me off

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Screen Shot 2013-07-15 at 9.59.39 AMIt comes with the territory — when you tackle controversial issues you attract controversial responses.  Or, as I like to call it, Crackpot Racist Hate Mail From Right Wing Nut Jobs (CRHMFRWNJ for short.)

Some of the messages scrawled on paper bags in crayon (and blood?) are mailed to various newspapers around the country that publish La Cucaracha and/or my editorial cartoons.  Some post comments here on POCHO and assorted loons follow me from Twitter to Facebook to my blog to leave me droppings from their thought processes.  No one follows them around with pooper escoopers, so I’m stuck with what they call in the sewage industry “solid waste” — mierda for you pochos.

I spent maybe 10 or 20 minutes going through the folder on my Mac desktop named Love_Letters, and came up with this list of my Pocho Ocho favorite insults:

8. Go back to Africa!

Mas…The Pocho Ocho top favorite ways racists try to tell me off

Update: We made it through the hack attack but still need your help

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loadsmThis graphic shows how hackers overwhelmed the site one day last week. Those three “load” figures at the top should be close to “1.” All the “USERS” you see on Comic Seanz’s screen cap show our webserver software (Apache) trying to keep up with bullshit requests from evil hack robots.

Can you donate $20 or $50 so we can make more ñews y satire?
MR. POCHO SAYS ¡GRACIAS!

The hackers who overwhelmed our site are gone — for now. But we still need your help so we can beef up POCHO’s infrastructure. Money help.

  • Bringing in security pro to sweep our site will cost at least $100 — and could cost more if she finds something.
  • Updating our hosting package — now provided as a public service by our friends at Pixelgate.net — means more dinero — over $100 more each month.
  • Upgrading our WordPress theme software (the recent upgrade left a slew of bugs we’re trying to iron out), is another hundred or so plus expensive web developers.

We don’t have the money to do this stuff — without you.

Mas…Update: We made it through the hack attack but still need your help