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rickperryhorseWhen news broke Friday that GOP presidential nominee wannabe Texas Governor Rick Perry (photo) was indicted on two counts of abuse of power, we were pissed off because we were in the middle of a conference call and didn’t that grand jury know our meeting schedule and publishing deadlines?

We realized later, however, that we had a treasure trove of Perry-ana that could be given fresh life on the Interwebs with a cool big-ass image of Perry, a clever headline and lots of SEO-friendly keywords.

POCHO proudly presents PREVIOUSLY ON INDICTED TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY THEATRE: [Mas…]

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joemillerracistmailer (PNS reporting from ANCHORAGE, AK) Some they call him Joe, some they call him Doh! but one group of Alaska voters is 100% behind Joe Miller, the Tea Party-affiliated candidate who is seeking a United States Senate nomination.

“His campaign mailer (click on photo to enlarge) convinced us that Miller will do a great job keeping the thriving Latino community of Alaska in check,” read a press release issued Thursday by Cecilia Jones, the president of National Organization for Minorities, Advertisements, Media Exposure and Symbolism. “And that especially goes for your drug-dealing border-crossing tat-wearing illegal alien Democrat voters!” [Mas…]

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National Poetry Month means — to us — poems by and for the people, like Jesús Iñiguez with his poem about immigration. Spoiler alert — Iñiguez is not exactly happy with Administration policies and questions President Obama’s legacy. [NSFW "F-bomb."]

 

More from the Obama Legacy blog: [Mas…]

tedcruzbydonkeyhoteyTea Partier Ted Cruz, the Canadian United States Senator (R-TX), hates avocados, the fruit of a tree native to Mexico and Central America, classified in the flowering plant family Lauraceae along with cinnamon, camphor and bay laurel.

We just learned from a blog post that this Canuckian “public servant” allegedly confessed his shameful prejudice in an interview last October, but sometime since then, the original evidence mysteriously disappeared.

(Crack Malaysian detectives are investigating the disappearance.)

Of course, this Grand Old Pendejo official has many other skeletors in his closet — the Pocho Ocho Other Things Sen. Ted Cruz Hates Besides Avocados:

8. LIFE cereal.

7. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

6. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire [Mas…]

obamabackWhite House insiders indicate the President’s State of the Union address tonight will have a few surprises for the Congressional and TV audiences.

Here are the top eight:

8. The NSA will intercept Republicans’ text messages to each other and display them on the JumboTron in real time

7. President Obama will be sporting snazzy new Uncle Sugar costume

6. Mass wedding performed according to Sharia Law [Mas…]

lalogopchristmas

rickperryglasses(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Gov. Rick Perry is disappointed his new hipster glasses haven’t helped him in the polls.

“Why don’t people like me? I’m more than just the guy who came after Bush, I’m cool, see?” he told reporters at a press conference at the Capitol Wednesday as he pointed to his stylin’ horn rim frames from Warby Parker.

According to insiders, Perry thought the hipster glasses would not only make him more likeable but would also make people think he’s smarter, too.

“I watch Dr. Who,” said Perry. “I’m been hanging at Waterloo Records trying to make friends with guys with beards. I’m growing some fierce sideburns.” [Mas…]

La Cucaracha: It’s the GOP alternative to Obamacare (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz November 5, 2013 Cartoons
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Voice of America Hispanic Heritage Profile: George P. Bush (video)

by VIN DIDO September 27, 2013 Cultura
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This “little brown one” is all grown up now and and ready for his closeup. The Voice of America (VOA) profiles George P. Bush for Hispanic Heritage Month 2013: The Next Generation.

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Sen. Ted Cruz explained in one handy Venn diagram (toon)

by JIMWICH September 25, 2013 Cartoons
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PREVIOUSLY BY JIMWICH:

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Breaking: Rick Perry moving West: ‘Let’s turn Cali red!’

by María Purísima July 9, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Rick Perry told a crowd of press and supporters here Monday that he will not seek another term as Texas governor when his term expires in 18 months. Instead, the longest-serving governor in Texas’ history said he was going to do the unthinkable: move to California to turn the state back into […]

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Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas

by Especial Correspondents July 2, 2013 El Now
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The anti-abortion “Mourning After” SB5 bill crashed and burned after Sen. Wendy Davis’s spectacular filibuster, but the battle for common sense in Texas (photo, above) continues. We already told you about the attempt to outlaw “looking too Mexican,” but that’s not the only trick the Republicans have up their (cotton-poly-blend) sleeves. From our Ostin Especial […]

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GOP, Christians reach out to millennials: ‘Rappin’ for Jesus’

by Soy Capitan June 20, 2013 El Now
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If the GOP has any future, it needs fresh blood, according to young Christian conservatives at a recent right-wing confab. And reaching “Millenials” means communicating in the languages These Kids Today know — sarcasm, hiphop, humor and snark. “How do you make abortion funny?” That was a key question mulled at a major conservative gathering […]

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Pocho Ocho ways the GOP can lure back young voters

by Especial Correspondents June 4, 2013 El Now
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It’s no secret: The Grand Old Party needs some new blood. If the Republican Party, formerly the “Party of Lincoln,” is to succeed nationally, it needs more women, “minorities,” and younger voters. Old angry reactionary white people is not a growing constituency. Here are Pocho Ocho ways the GOP can bring more young voters aboard: […]

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Pocho Ocho Republican things you didn’t know were in The Bible

by MOISES RABINO April 25, 2013 El Now
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It’s in the Jewy Old Testament, written from right to left in Leviticus, Chapter 19, Verses 33-34, where God tells Moses (photo, left): If a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not do him wrong. The stranger that sojourneth with you shall be unto you as the home-born among you, and thou shalt […]

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Al Madrigal: Aliens vs Senators – The Path to Presidentship (video)

by Comic Saenz April 17, 2013 El Now
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The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal explains to Jon Stewart the tough but fair conditions Latinos will impose on Republicans hoping to one day win back the White House. [Disclosure: Al Madrigal is also POCHO's Migrant Editor.]

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It came from outer espace: Demographic meteor disaster (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz February 22, 2013 Cartoons
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More toons from POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz @ Huffington Post Latino Voices… RELATED: Yucatán prays for Russia after meteor Take back the world: Vote the Dinosaur Party in 2012 (toon)

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Pocho Ocho reasons GOP Sen. Marco Rubio drank so much water

by Especial Correspondents February 13, 2013 El Now
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Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FLA) sure drank a lot of Poland Spring® water during his Republican State of the Union rebuttal speech Tuesday night. Here are the pocho ocho reasons the GOP’s Great Brown Hope was so thirsty: 8. He’s a pinche mojado 7. Global warming 6. He finds this bullshit hard to swallow himself

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Arizona ‘pro-life’ bill promises a gun for every unborn child

by MATHEW February 12, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Arizona Republicans today proposed new legislation aimed at reducing the number of abortions performed in the state. Although Arizona already has some of the country’s most extreme restrictions on abortion, State Rep. Kimberly Yee (R-Maricopa), sponsor of House Bill HB1069, says the Hate State still doesn’t fully protect “unborn children.” “As […]

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Mexclusive: Pocho Ocho steps on the GOP’s ‘Path to Citizenship’

by Especial Correspondents February 7, 2013 El Now
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The Republican Party has jumped on the immigration reform bandwagon with their own “Path to Citizenship” proposals. Here are the GOP’s pocho ocho ways undocumented residents can get legal: 8. Mow Mitt Romney’s lawn 7. Pose for publicity photo with AZ Gov. Jan Brewja 6. Pretend you’re “Hispanic” for the CIA

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Al Madrigal, Jon Stewart: Big trouble in GOP His Panic Room (video)

by Comic Saenz January 31, 2013 El Now
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Will a Republican shift on immigration help them with Hispanic voters? The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal is in Jon Stewart’s His Panic Room as they explore the GOP’s Nuevo Deal. Jessica Williams sneaks in to assist. DISCLOSURE: Madrigal is also POCHO’s Migrant Editor.

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