romney

Make friends and influence people with a Chicano handshake?

That’s right, pochas y pochos, you too can reinforce your raza credibility with a puro handshake, as Subcommandanta del News Sara Inés Calderón demonstrates in her viral video. She illustrates the proper form for handshakes in Califas and Tejas plus throws in a variation that answers the musical question Why Can’t We Be Friends?

On the music front, Pocho Ñews Service Floridita Burro Jefe Santino J. Rivera takes a look at the contradiction between Rage Against the Machine’s message and some clueless fans’ love of the band. Hint: VP wannabe Paul Ryan isn’t the only doofus.

On the international business news beat, Subcommandante del Cultura Victor Payan blows the lid off the Republican effort to thwart the sale of bankrupt Hostess to Mexico’s Bimbo.  Revelations from the TwinkieLeaks website include this money quote from GOP guru Karl Rove: “They can have my DingDong when they pry it from my cold, dead hand.”

And New Jack City Burro Jefe Elise Roedenbeck illuminates the softer side of South America with the sad tale of a Peruvian girl and her llama —  a lament for lost youth, innocence and a little girl’s dreams.

These are top stories that broke the ñews on POCHO this week: [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from GLENDALE, CA) Documents released today confirm that top GOP officials conspired to kill the sale of Hostess snack foods to Mexico’s baked goods behemoth Grupo Bimbo.  Critics are blasting the Republicans for the scheme which resulted in Hostess Brands officially closing today after 82 years.

Grupo Bimbo, which is alive and well, boasts more than $10.7 billion in annual sales and owns such brands as Entenmann’s, Sara Lee, Boboli, Orowheat, Thomas’ English Muffins and the Mexican snack food favorite giant Marinela.

The news of Hostess Brands’ demise has resulted in injuries across the nation as Black Friday shoppers, college students and stoners loot snack cake aisles for the last boxes of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, CupCakes, HoHos and other treats necessary for their existence. [Mas…]


This short educational video from Mal★Mart explains how the retail chain is a good neighbor, supporting local communities and creating jobs all across America — with a smile. The case study features Latina entrepreneur Maria Muñoz of Maria’s Flan. [Mas…]

Dear Party of Lincoln:
I am very interested in the Latino Wrangler opening at the Republican National Committee you advertised on CraigsList.

My wife is half Mexican, my son is one-quarter Mexican and I have been to Mexico four times for cheap lobster, not that anyone's ethnicity would be used as a qualification for this job. I'm white, of course. [Mas…]

Loser and liar Willard “Mitt” Romney finally got something correct! The overwhelming Latino margin for President Bronco Bama was entirely due to “gifts” the Democrats used as bribes. Here are the top eight:

8. Taco Tuesdays covered by Obamacare
7. Rick Bayless gets full-time gig with Food and Drug Administration (Drug Division)
6. New “path to citizenship:” SuperLotto [Mas…]

President Bronco Bama was reelected this week despite the valiant campaign mounted by Juan Percenter @MexicanMitt Romney; the Mexi-Mormon challenger released a last-minute campaign espeech and animated music video which were very popular on POCHO but apparently didn’t help in Ohio, Florida and Pennsylvania.

POCHO’s ñews-breaking coverage included toons by Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz, election recaps and a look at what’s up next for the former first lady in waiting Ann Romney.

Cable TV star Don Cheto make a video Gangnam Style and a huge OVNI/UFO was filmed flying down into Mexico’s Popocatapetl volcano.

The links are here: [Mas…]

Obama victory means happy happy joy joy for some, others are meh

by Especial Correspondents November 8, 2012 El Now
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The reelection of President Barack Obama is news around the world, too, so POCHO Ñews Service PNS sent reporters out on the street to gather reactions from colorfully-dressed pedestrians who consented to interviews and photos without compensation. Here’s what they had to say:

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@MexicanMitt Romney’s final concession espeech [complete text]

by MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY November 7, 2012 El Now
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[EDITOR'S NOTE: @MexicanMitt Romney, the Twitter sensation, has graced us with the complete text of his concession speech upon losing to President Barack Obama. Enjoy this heart-wrenching espeech, gueyes.] AJUA! GREETINGS MY GUEYES! I HAVE CALLED BLACK REAGAN AND CONCEDED THAT HE CHEATED BETTER THAN I DID. SHOUT OUT to his wife and her sister-wives. I […]

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Big Bird breaks silence on Romney flap: ‘This bird you cannot change!’

by Victor Payan November 7, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) Beloved PBS personality Big Bird has finally broken his silence over presidential nopeful Willard “Mitt” Romney’s death threats, which the Massachusetts governor made on national television. Mr. Bird issued his statement this morning while surrounded by friends on New York’s Sesame Street. “Mr. Romney, this Bird you cannot change,” […]

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Loser Mitt Romney has the sad: He’s unemployed and part of 47%

by María Purísima November 7, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from BOSTON) Mitt Romney woke up a broken man Wednesday morning and experienced something unimaginable: He had become part of the 47%. “I never thought this would happen to me; my whole life has been turned upside-down,” he told PNS. A moping Romney emerged from his down-quilted bed and silk sheets at about 7AM […]

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Exclusive preview of Ann Romney’s Food Blog: The Electric Stove

by Elise Roedenbeck November 7, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from BOSTON) With the election totally over, Ann Romney is free to pursue her true passion: cooking dinner every night for her large family and sharing Romney recipes. Here’s exclusive preview of the Breakfast Club section of Ann’s upcoming food blog The Electric Stove: White Toast This is a very old family recipe dating back […]

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Pocho Ocho reasons Republicans think Romney was defeated

by Especial Correspondents November 7, 2012 El Now
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Gov. Willard “Mitt” Romney lost big last night and the finger pointing has begun. Here are the GOP’s Pocho Ocho top excuses for the defeat: 8. Donald Trump bad hair day 7. Matlock marathon suppressed old white people vote 6. Cheap imported Chinese binders couldn’t hold the women required for victory

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Once you go brown (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz November 7, 2012 Cartoons
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La Jolla cops on alert after dog shit bag trick at Romney beach house

by Barney Asada November 7, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from LA JOLLA) Police in this pricey San Diego barrio are on alert after “an intruder or intruders” slipped onto the Romney family’s secluded beachfront property early this morning, left a flaming paper bag of what is believed to be dog shit on the front porch, rang the doorbell and fled into the […]

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President Bronco Bama reelected in decisive victory

by JIMWICH November 6, 2012 Cartoons
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POCHO’s panel of experts has spoken: Pres. Bronco Bama has been reelected. Details soon.

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BREAKING: Mitt Romney tied to controversial NAMBLA group

by Shaydes O'Gray November 6, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Even as voters line up to vote across America, revelations are coming out about Republican candidate Gov. Willard “Mitt” Romney’s alleged membership in NAMBLA, the North American Millionaire-Billionaire Love Association. Although rumors have circulated throughout the campaign season about his membership in this controversial group, undercover video posted on YouTube clearly […]

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What exactly is on the mind of an ‘undecided voter’? (video)

by Elise Roedenbeck November 5, 2012 El Now
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He’s an undecided voter and his mind’s in a pickle about the big issues. We asked him why.

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Ñewsweek: Halloween, Day of the Dead, Chavo del Ocho Style

by Comic Saenz November 4, 2012 El Now
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Ghosts and skeletons and ghouls that go bump in the night? It was a spooky ñewsweek at POCHO — the most popular entries on the site were not the newsiest. Pochos liked this week’s entries about Halloween, Chavo del Ocho Gangnam Style, The Simpsons‘ Mr. Burns’ endorsement of Gov. Mitt Romney  and Lalo Alcaraz’s Sandy […]

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