Breaking: Malaysian jet mystery prompts terrorist alert

pochlandiawidealertstatus(PNS reporting from the EAST LOS ANGELES) Pocholandia security officials issued a terrorist alert this morning prompted by the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines MH370 over the Gulf of Thailand or the Strait of Malacca or wherever that shit happened, yo.

“I am alerting you terrorist pendejos. Stay the hell out of East Los! said spokesman Gustavo “Little Lalo” Madrigal of the Minivan Crips, a volunteer neighborhood watch group.

“The AMERICAN ME ORANGE ALERT is the second highest alert classification used by the Pocholandia Security Advisory System, bitches, so watchale!” he added.

Graphics by Victor Payan via Hollywood Sign Generator and Personal Threat Level.

PREVIOUSLY ON TERRORIST THEATRE:

Mas…Breaking: Malaysian jet mystery prompts terrorist alert

Update: We made it through the hack attack but still need your help

loadsmThis graphic shows how hackers overwhelmed the site one day last week. Those three “load” figures at the top should be close to “1.” All the “USERS” you see on Comic Seanz’s screen cap show our webserver software (Apache) trying to keep up with bullshit requests from evil hack robots.

Can you donate $20 or $50 so we can make more ñews y satire?
MR. POCHO SAYS ¡GRACIAS!

The hackers who overwhelmed our site are gone — for now. But we still need your help so we can beef up POCHO’s infrastructure. Money help.

  • Bringing in security pro to sweep our site will cost at least $100 — and could cost more if she finds something.
  • Updating our hosting package — now provided as a public service by our friends at Pixelgate.net — means more dinero — over $100 more each month.
  • Upgrading our WordPress theme software (the recent upgrade left a slew of bugs we’re trying to iron out), is another hundred or so plus expensive web developers.

We don’t have the money to do this stuff — without you.

Mas…Update: We made it through the hack attack but still need your help

Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The Senate’s approval of a bipartisan “immigration reform” bill Thursday — a bill which Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) says will create “the most militarized border since the Berlin Wall” — has defense contractors talking, and drooling.

The hot topic? The untold millions of dollars that may become available if Uncle Sam gets serious about “security.”

It’s the inevitable transition, cynics say, from Eisenhower’s old-school military-industrial complex to the new Post-Millennial MIGRA-Industrial Complex. But government contractors and suppliers have a more nuanced view.

Mas…Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’