(PNS reporting from QUITO) You don’t have to be an accused rapist hiding from the Swedish police like Julian Assange or an alleged spy like Edward Snowden to consider asylum in the República del Ecuador.
That’s the message of the new Do Ecuador marketing campaign from Ecuador’s Ministry of Tourism, which was announced in this high-altitude capital city Monday.
“There are only 15 million of us here in a country that covers 109,000 square miles, so come on down!” gasping-for-breath State Secretary for Tourism Gandalfo Gordo explained between hits of oxygen at a press conference in the newly-remodeled Safe House Hotel, formerly El Motel Seis. [Mas…]
There was no indication Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll was involved
(PNS reporting from CARTAGENA) Top officials of Colombia’s Ministry of Tourism are high on happiness after the weekend recall of U.S. Secret Service officers caught in a prostitution scandal.
“Hookers? We love it,” Assistant Minister Rogerio Flauta said Monday. “It shows the world we have more to offer than drugs, guns and murder. Sex is always good for business! And hookers good enough for U.S. Federales? Can you say ‘organic search results?’ I knew that you could.”
“This is all new to us, and we need help.” he told reporters. “After careful consideration, we’re reaching out to Thailand, which artfully managed its transition from the home of high-potency marijuana “Thai sticks” to the top Asian destination for underage sex tourism. We’ve got a lot to learn.” [Mas…]
When your casting call includes skin color, people are going to think one of two things: Either you’re filming a sunblock ad or you’re a stone racist.
The New Mexico Tourism Board’s little gaffe (nicely summed up here from local news clips by the sharp folks at Cuentame) pretty much says it: Arizona Cerebral Fever – which renders bureaucrats completely tone-deaf to their own cluelessness about race – is contagious. You catch it from the pendejos next door in the Hate State of Arizona.
What’s priceless is the third-class backpedaling the spokeswoman offers – about how they’re looking for “a wide range of people” and this spot is “the first of many.” [Mas…]
Basketball: The undefeated Pocho High Fighting Santos meet the Chupacabras of Don Fernando Valley High for the state hoops semifinals next week in Rancho Cucamonga. Booster Club president Cal Ifas wants to remind fans the vuvuzelas have arrived and you can pick up your order at his auto upholstery shop weekdays and Saturdays. Califas Tuck y Roll is in the Pocho Industrial Park behind the Tapatio plant.
Tourism: The El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District has once again garnered a mention in Zagat’s Off the Beaten Path Travel Guide: “A sketchy tattoo parlor, Lupe’s Mistic Yerberia and a car battery recycling joint take you back to an earlier time, a time that wasn’t really all that good, actually, but if that’s what you’re looking for, the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District has it all.” [Mas…]
In-house mini-banner teases
Your $5 or $10 or $25
will help us make
make more ñews y satire Donate Now ¡GRACIAS!