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daveandbusterstweetThe Twitterverse exploded with charges of racism yesterday following pork-pushing restauranteurs Dave & Buster’s #TacoTuesday Tweet fail. (Photo of Tweet, since deleted from the company’s timeline.)

Even pimp-my-product professional journal AdWeek was pained by the chain’s gigantic boner:

And your massive brand Twitter fail of the day goes to … Dave & Buster’s! [Mas…]

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That symbol we used to call the “number sign” or “pound sign” that they now call as “hash sign” — # — is ruining social media. All the cool kids have switched over to what we used to call the “percent sign” — % — to make social media a better place for you and me, especially me. Try the new % F*ckyer sign and find out yourself! [NSFW adult language.]

broncof(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the meaning of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!”

“I don’t care what it’s about,” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard grill. “I just always celebrated it with MEChA and at school. Partay!”

Friends and family at the Covarrubias’ weekly carne asada were aghast. Some reconsidered whether they’d be driving back to El Sereno next week, multiple witness reported. [Mas…]

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Texas Sen. Ted Cruz [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Felipe Roberto, star of the reality show Guac Dynasty, which follows the Roberto clan of rude and crude avocado wranglers through their struggle with weeds, bugs and family dysfunction, has been suspended by the Mexican Arte y Entretenimiento TV network (MEX A&E) after his hateful Tweet about Americans went viral, PNS has learned.

Roberto told his 3,827 Twitter followers that he was flying to Los Angeles for Christmas and he hoped he “didn’t get the gays” from the “Hollywood maricons.” [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Leading Catholic personalities gathered here this week to address a simmering controversy in the official Divine Advent & Manifestation Union (DAMU): members claim that La Virgen de Guadalupe (photo, center) is a publicity hog when it comes to miraculous appearances.

“Can’t the Son of God just miraculously appear on a slice of toast without someone copying me?” asked Jesus Christ (photo, right). “Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for faith and everything, but she goes out of her way to appear on everything! Am I right, people?”

Another virgin in attendance, rarely-seen La Virgen de San Juan (photo, left), said that although she’s “totally cool” with being a lesser-known virgin, she will never be able to grow her Twitter following or sell more CDs when Guadalupe is always “hogging the spotlight.”

“The union has rules for a reason, so everyone has a chance at appearing on tortillas or an oil stain,” San Juan told PNS. “I don’t expect to be number one — I mean, c’mon, we’re talking about the Mother of God here — but I do expect my fair share.” [Mas…]

masterhapemapThe infographic map-heads at FloatingSheep.org analyzed geo-tagged Tweets from one week in November last year to generate a hate map of the U.S.

Surprise, surprise — the Old Confederacy had the most haters when slurs about Latinos (Tweets using the word “wetback” and “spick”), African-Americans (“nigger”), Asians (“chink,” “gook”) were tallied (pan-racist map, above.) [Click maps to enlarge.]

Here’s the breakdown of “wetback” Tweets: [Mas…]

Vine video: @WilW Wheaton eats chips and salsa

by DON JUAN GAMERA October 21, 2013 Cultura
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Wil Wheaton (@WilW on Twitter) sure loves him some chips and salsa. [Hover over, then click the speaker icon in the top left corner of the video for Wheaton's incisive commentary.] PREVIOUSLY ON WIL WHEATON: Spanglish with @wilw Wheaton: Today’s word is ‘pupacabras’ (Vine)

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Breaking: U.S. braces for social media #TMITuesday

by Victor Payan October 7, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) With their employer, the United States government, crippled by a shutdown, bored furloughed federal workers here plan to make tomorrow “TMI Tuesday.” The social media campaign, which carries the slogan Brace Yourself Before You Face Yourself, has Washington insiders shaking, fearing a sleazy slew of photographs from GOP fundraisers, Dick […]

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Geraldo Rivera Tweets selfie of his ‘foot’ (photo)

by PINHEAD HELLRAISER September 18, 2013 El Now
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Trying acupuncture to reduce pain in foot killed by botched back surgery pic.twitter.com/zfJlGU1nvS — Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) September 17, 2013 The award-winning TV newsman also shows a little leg. PREVIOUSLY ON GERALDO RIVERA SELFIES: NYPD fingers, pinches ‘twisted’ Geraldo Rivera in ‘sexting’ prob Scary Naked Geraldo photo slashes ‘Walking While Black’ crim

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Scary Naked Geraldo photo slashes ‘Walking While Black’ crime

by Lalo Alcaraz July 22, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from FLORIDA) Neighborhood Watch volunteers across the nation’s gated communities are posting Twitter photos of Naked Geraldo to frighten off dangerous junk food-toting hoodie-wearing kids. Award-winning journalist Geraldo Rivera, who proclaimed in his initial Tweet that “Seventy is the new Sexty,” snapped the nude photo of himself in the bathroom in order to […]

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NYPD fingers, pinches ‘twisted’ Geraldo Rivera in ‘sexting’ probe

by Santino J. Rivera July 22, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) Cable news reporter Geraldo Rivera was named a “person of interest” Sunday and detained for questioning in a “sexting” case by police here after he posted a twisted semi-nude “selfie” on Twitter. [Editor’s Note: Ruh, roh! Looks like Mr. Rivera has deleted that Tweet! But that’s the photo from […]

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Elise @buttronica Roedenbeck VS the Pope — on Twitter (video)

by Comic Saenz July 19, 2013 Cultura
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Our MiJA, Elise @buttronica Roedenbeck, doesn’t want much. She just wants additional followers on the Twitter as part of her plan for worldwide social media domination. Follow Elise to win a small box lunch with individual carafe of wine plus other cool incentives like scribbled notes and video winks (must be over legal drinking age […]

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The Pocho Ocho top favorite ways racists try to tell me off

by Lalo Alcaraz July 16, 2013 Cultura
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It comes with the territory — when you tackle controversial issues you attract controversial responses.  Or, as I like to call it, Crackpot Racist Hate Mail From Right Wing Nut Jobs (CRHMFRWNJ for short.) Some of the messages scrawled on paper bags in crayon (and blood?) are mailed to various newspapers around the country that […]

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Online surge of Constitutional Law, Bible experts slows the Internets

by Comic Saenz June 27, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) The Internets slowed to a virtual crawl yesterday as millions of experts in Constitutional Law and The Holy Bible took to Twitter and Facebook to educate ignorant netizens about the God-hating freedom-attacking Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage. “It was definitely a brownout, dude,” according to 18-year-old Jaime “Twitchy” Loftwich, who […]

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PNS*Hot*Flash: Area man pissed he never heard of sizzurp

by MEZCAL WORTHINGTON March 19, 2013 El Now
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BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from BIG BEAR, CA) Emerging from a long weekend “off the fuckin’ grid, dude” spent in an isolated mountain cabin with neither Internet nor cell service, area software programmer Carlos Perez has told friends he is angry he missed the entire Lil Wayne near death episode.

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@MexicanMitt Romney: The Estate of the Union esta chingada

by MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY February 13, 2013 El Now
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Hola Gueyes! This is my Live Tweet/State of the Union response chingadera. Will someone please get me a water, that bottle I’m looking at is right out of reach. CHINGAO! MEXIPHONE CHECK, JUAN TU, JUAN TU HIJOLE EL TWITTER IS ESLOW, IT’S MORE CLOGGED THAN THE TOILET AT EL TORITO HEY OBAMA, STOP TOUCHING THE […]

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The Pope’s on Twitter and Vatican nuns stage a fashion show (video)

by SISTER TWISTER December 4, 2012 Cultura
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The Pope is on Twitter and the Sisters of the Vatican have a new fashion show! Thank God the world is ending in three weeks! RELATED: The Pope’s Pocho Ocho relaxed rules for Catholics besides condoms

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Religious figures slam Guadalupe as ‘miraculous appearance hog’

by María Purísima October 18, 2012 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Leading Catholic personalities gathered here this week to address a simmering controversy in the official Divine Advent & Manifestation Union (DAMU): members claim that La Virgen de Guadalupe (photo, center) is a publicity hog when it comes to miraculous appearances. “Can’t the Son of God just miraculously appear on a slice of […]

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@MexicanMitt on the DNC: THAT CONVENTION ESUCKED!

by MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY September 7, 2012 El Now
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COMO CHINGA ESE OBAMA. If this Democratic convention was the FIESTA, then this yobs report is the CRUDA! There is no bowl of menudo big enough to cure the mess that Barack Obama has failed to clean up after the frat boy party thrown by George W. Bush. Whoops, never mind that I mentioned what’s-his-face. […]

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@MexicanMitt on Bill Clinton: Well, that wasn’t a very good espeech

by MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY September 6, 2012 El Now
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Well, that wasn’t a very good espeech. Ex-Presidente BILL CLINTON spoke to the Democratic National Convention last night before heading out to a night of debauchery and cheeseburgers in Charlotte. Sure, you might say he delivered a good defense of Barack Obama’s awful Presidency.  But he filled the whole long rant with PINCHE BORING FACTS […]

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@MexicanMitt Romney responds to Democratic Convention espeeches

by MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY September 5, 2012 El Now
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I was recovering from the Clint Eastwood Chair Incident, pretending to listen to some storm victims in who-knows-what-FOCKED-UP backwards-ass SOUTHERN STATE, and I was forced by my campaign adviser to watch the Democratic National Convention. TV COVERAGE OF THE DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION IS HILARIOUS, the camerapeoples have to constantly pan around to find THE ONE STRAIGHT […]

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New music from @MexicanMitt Romney: ‘The Juan Percent’ (video)

by SAM OLDIBUT GUDI September 4, 2012 Cultura
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Popular and controversial Twitter character and POCHO contributor MexicanMitt Romney sings for himself in this post-Republican Convention lament, a new song to mark his release from Twitterham Jail. It’s called The Juan Percent. Co-starring Rafalca Romney and Pollo Ryan. WTF? Jail? Catch up on MexicanMitt’s Twitter arrest, incarceration and release here

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