This is a terrible day for illness and disease. Obamacare being upheld by those activist judges at the Supremes Court is making me sicker than the time I tried McDonald’s experimental “Birria Burger.”

Thank God it was Available for a Limited Time Only.

The Republican Party is the only party looking out for disease! Diseases are people, my friends. Especially Jan Brewer.

This ruling upholding Obamacare is wrong for Amercia, and really messes up my campaign for President. However, things are not terminal yet.

I vow on my Day Juan in office as Presidente Romney, to repeal Obamacare (AKA Romneycare) and replace it with Romneydoesntcare.

Romneydoesntcare is modeled on the health system we had before, which was, “rich people pay cash for healthcare, and everyone else can go pound pupusas.” [Mas…]


The Sheik dissed Canseco on Twitter

The Sheik plans to "humble" Canseco

(PNS reporting from DIXIE) Though the competition was stiffer than Ronald Reagan’s corpse, retired MLB douchebag and Twitter hack Jose Canseco has been declared the Worst Mexican of All Time by ex-professional wrestler The Iron Sheik.

Canseco has the “raisin balls” and is an embarrassment to all of Mexico, The Sheik told PNS.

The contest was too close to call by many Mexperts but after the votes were tallied, Canseco won the prestigious title hands down, beating out Geraldo Rivera, Tito Santana, Raffi Torres, Mel Gibson, O.J. Simpson and Mario Lopez.

When notified he did not win, Geraldo responded by weeping on Fox and Friends, remarking that he felt “manually raped” by the results. [Mas…]

{ 1 comment }

Since Mexican Mitt’s nomination is inevitable after his domination on Super Taco Tuesday, we graciously offer our list of the Pocho Ocho campaign songs that would rock his 2012 campaign – Mittchoacan style.

8. Lowrider

7. Stayin’ Alive

6. Volver Volver [Mas…]


Giant esteak chimichanga

In what’s been termed “the tweet heard ’round the world,” Pres. Barack Obama’s campaign manager Jim Messina tweeted today that a line from a Washington Post editorial— “The chimichanga? It may be the only thing Republicans have left to offer Latinos” — was the “line of the day.”

Consequently, and in short order, Republicans began attacking Messina (not Latino) and lefties in general for being racist, insensitive, not offering Latinos much in the way of policies anyway, and much more. Repercussions of the tweet, however, reach much further than the Twitterverse. [Mas…]


Week in Ñews: @MexicanMitt, bishop with kids, racist white ladies, immigrants suck

by Comic Saenz January 15, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Week in Ñews: @MexicanMitt, bishop with kids, racist white ladies, immigrants suck

It was a big week for big news here at POCHO, where the big estory was our Mexclusive interview with new Twitter sensation @MexicanMitt, who told Pocho Ñews Service PNS “I’m in it to guin it!” We also released the voicemail Catholic Bishop Gabino Zavala left when he told his boss the Archbishop about his [...]


Mexican Mitt Romney is live on Twitter: I am in it to guin it!

by Andalé Mono January 12, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Mexican Mitt Romney is live on Twitter: I am in it to guin it!

(PNS reporting from CYBER ESPACE) Like virtual huitlacoche  growing on a diseased ear of GOP political corn, an avatar of candidate Mitt Romney emerged on Twitter Wednesday, a digital fungus thriving on the stinking mess of Tuesday’s New Hampshire primary. Using the handle @MexicanMitt,  the campaign’s online Hispanic personality exalts Romney as a canny opportunist, occasionally-job-killing corporate [...]


Mayan Doomsday 2012? Instant karma gonna get you

by Mack Reed December 29, 2011 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Mayan Doomsday 2012? Instant karma gonna get you

We as a species deserve whatever Mayan Doom 2012™ brings our way. Tweet-comic Jon Hendren proved it on Xmas and Boxing Day when he retweeted people’s bitching about not getting the gifts they wanted. Boohoo, they moaned – no one loves me enough to give me the muy caro gadget I need sooo sooo badly. [...]