(PNS reporting from WALL STREET) Summer has begun baking the country, and that means just one thing on Wall Street: A steep rise in the value of paleta stocks.
“We all look forward to a seasonal bump in the iced treats sector. This year, Navidad came early,” said Alexander Wiseman, a desserts and novelty/snack food analyst for investment bank Barney, Smith & Locke.
“The paletas de coco seem to be particularly big sellers thus far, but more conservative investors are sticking with the time-tested favorites, such as fresa and limón. Ah, nothing really cools you down like a lime paleta,” he told PNS. [Mas…]
Everyone in Politistan is talking about the upcoming “fiscal cliff,” but that’s not the only topographical terror in America’s future. Here’s our list of the Pocho Ocho problems ahead:
8. Gay Marriage Hump 7. Entitlement Mountain 6. Wall Street Falls 5. Corporate Gorge [Mas…]
Maybe I’ll vote this year. Really, as long as I remember where the place is and I can get a space, and if, well, it depends what’s going on that day. After all, “we’re up to our ears in Mexicans!”(An epic musical production.)
La Chata’s Music Box recommends Brooklyn Afrobeat band Antibalas’ incisive musical explanation of the corrupting effects of corporate influence on American society: Dirty Money. Also, it has a good beat and it’s easy to dance to. Plus puppets!
Barack Hussein Obama’s biggest donors and best crony capitalist friends at JP Morgan Chase recently lost over two billion dollars in risky trades. Instead of wailing about this so-called “Wall Street reform” nonsense, I have decided to open my own bank and mega Wall Street trading firm: JP Mormon. At JP Mormon, we promise to [...]
We might not know anything about them, but Anonymous knows almost everything about us, including stuff THE MAN doesn’t want YOU to know. The modishly-masked online crusaders will soon shock our chakras with the truth about apocalyptic confluences predicted by the Mayan Calendar and aether-entities from outer espace. Predictably, the Mainstream Media New World Order [...]
(PNS reporting from WALL STREET) Summer has begun baking the country, and that means just one thing on Wall Street: A steep rise in the value of paleta stocks.
