(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Thousands of Americans were rushed to hospitals across the country last night as the result of a “presidential debate drinking games” gone horribly wrong, according to news reports.
The games, promoted by the @DebateBlitz Twitter account, asked people to drink a shot of alcohol any time a percentage was mentioned, or the words “jobs” or “taxes” were used by either candidate.
Ted Keilah, a sophomore at San Diego State University, was the first reported casualty of the game, when friends called 911 at 6:20 PM PDT, during Gov. Mitt Romney’s opening remarks.
“Ted was one of the lucky ones,” said dorm mate Ron de Cuba. “By the final handshake, people were passed out all over the floor, and the bathroom was a bigger mess than the Romney campaign.”
Similar stories were repeated on college campuses and living rooms throughout America.
Debate watchers who played from neighborhood bars were also economic casualties of the event.
“I thought it would be fun,” says Congressional page John E. Walker-Black. “But by the end of the night I ended up with a $947 bar tab and a trip to the ER.”
Area construction worker Jack Hammer, who started the evening as an Obama supporter, blacked out and was staunch Romney fan by the time he regained consciousness.
“It was the weirdest thing,” Hammer told PNS. “I don’t even like the guy. And for some reason I hate Big Bird now, too.”
At the end of the evening, CNN reported the President Obama was the clear winner, contributing to 37% of hospitalizations, while Fox News proclaimed Romney the leader at 39%.
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