El Chapo Chronicles: Too many Guzmans confuse New Jersey Jews’ news

by Comic Saenz on March 10, 2014 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

dudeballoonwrongguzman(PNS reporting from LAKEWOOD, NJ) The story was confusing for the few Ultra-Orthodox Jews who get their world news from The Lakewood Shopper, a free “penny saver” community weekly newspaper published here.

The Shopper mistakenly included a photo (right) of actor Luis Guzman in a story about Mexico’s arrest of drug cartel kingpin Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman.

“Such a handsome guy, with a nice beard,” confused Drupal coder Zalman Spector (far left, above) told his friends after he saw the story. “And this guy was the big knish!”

“I remember a gangster boy from Boyle Heights, also maybe a Guzman,” replied confused tailor Yossi Berkowitz (far right), who was visiting Lakewood from East Los Angeles last week. “A hunchback!”

The man responsible for the faux pas was anguished.

“Look, I’m sorry. I pulled a boner!” Shopper editor Moishe Pipik told PNS Sunday. “We made a stupid mistake, OK? And who is this goniff El Chapo? Until yesterday I thought it was pronounced like Chanukah, you know, with a guttural CH sound.”

Editor Pipik’s gaffe escaped the Lakewood ghetto when Twitter user Malei Rikud, a reader of the publication, noticed the mistake and put a photo on Twitter:


The bombshell Tweet and photograph quickly reached the actor, who then issued a vague threat:

 

Although The Shopper is Lakewood’s premier source for local and national news with a weekly combined distribution of over 11,500 copies and 75,000 avid readers and growing, it still lags behind The Daily Show with Jon Stewart as New Jersey’s top news source.

PREVIOUSLY ON EL CHAPO:

Wikimedia Commons photograph of Orthodox Jews in no way associated with this article by Peter.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

{ 1 comment }

Carlos March 10, 2014 at 10:16 PM

“I pulled a boner!”

&^%$#@

He said that!

hahahah

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