Vicente Fernandez to open Las Vegas mariachi-themed casino

by Victor Payan, Business Charrospondent on February 10, 2012 in Cultura, Pocho Ñews Service

(PNS reporting from LAS VEGAS) Soon-to-retire Mexican recording legend Vicente Fernandez is opening a mariachi-themed casino in Las Vegas.

Designed to cash in on the immense popularity of such large-scale theme casinos like New York, New York, Fernandez said he expects to open his casino Guadalajara, Guadalajara by the end of the year.

The casino, shaped like a giant cactus, will feature a miniature Rancho Grande, live charreadas, rooster fights, fandangos and hourly displays of bravado and machismo, according to “Chente,” who announced his plans for retirement yesterday.

A full-scale Plaza Garibaldi buffet room is also planned, where patrons can enjoy such traditional Mexican delicacies as jalapeño poppers, fried chicken strips and tapioca pudding while being serenaded by Pedro Infante, Javier Solis and Miguel Aceves Mejia impersonators.

Live entertainment will be provided by Fernandez himself or one of his many famous sons, and popular television psychic Walter Mercado will also have a regular telepathic floor show, billing himself as the Mariachi Liberace.

According to Fernandez, Guadalajara, Guadalajara will give the large expatriate Mexican population in the United States a chance to revisit old Mexico without jeopardizing the terms of their amnesty. It will also give Anglo-Americans a chance to experience the wonders of their friendly neighbor to the south without actually having to go there. To further expand on the authenticity of the concept, Fernandez says he plans to model the men’s restrooms after poorly-lit Tijuana sidestreets.

The hotel rooms will be 3/4 size replicas of rooms in Fernandez’s own lavish haciendas, and the honeymoon suite will feature Fernandez himself showing up at random to sing popular ballads and provide hands-on instruction regarding the Mexican art of deflowering.

To further immerse visitors in the Mexico experience, patrons will be required to exchange their dollars for pesos at brightly-colored casas de cambio before wagering on rooster fights, knife fights or before playing one of the many one-armed bandidos at a game of blackjack. This worries members of the Nevada Gaming Commission, who claim the wildly-fluctuating peso exchange rate will cause confusion among even the most skilled gamblers. But Fernandez insists that the decision to use Mexican currency is designed to provide as authentic an experience as possible so that visitors will feel that they are truly south of the border.

“We want Americanos to have a chance of realizing the American dream in Mexico. And we want them to do it in pesos,” says Fernandez. “And when they sit at the loteria tables, they will be using Mexican beans.”

The  superstar added that the peso is the ideal currency for a Las Vegas casino, adding “Wherever pesos are involved, it is always a gamble.”

Fernandez hopes Guadalajara, Guadalajara will be a hit with Las Vegas’ core visitor demographic group of bitter retired white people. To guarantee that patrons will have an enjoyable visit, all prospective employees will undergo extensive background checks to ensure that they are not former Mexico City police officers, dangerous ear-cutting kidnappers, or relatives of ex-Mexican president Carlos Salinas de Gortari.

Chente photo by Julio Enriquez.

Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo, Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court.  Don’t ask us, we just work here.

{ 21 comments }

Tomas Verde February 15, 2012 at 6:13 AM

Que barbaro! Este es una idea fabulosa. Especialmente me gustara los combates de gallos. Hua!

George Olivos February 15, 2012 at 9:58 AM

This is so 1999.

Hali February 25, 2012 at 12:15 AM

Plus, an authentic Panaderia with mushy pan dulce for $5 and champurrado for $7 =D

Judith March 18, 2012 at 9:34 PM

Looking forward to go to VEGAS by the end of the year and visit his new Hotel. This definitely will be fun!

Comic Saenz March 18, 2012 at 9:57 PM

Send us a review — and videos! Even phonecam videos are OK. Gracias.

Carlos Leoner May 3, 2012 at 12:14 PM

Esta es la mejor idea que se le a ocurido a cualquier Artista. Pero claro solamente al mejor. con todo respeto
Jefe lo quiero un monton

cesar puente May 3, 2012 at 1:21 PM

this HAS to be a JOKE

jose May 17, 2012 at 4:59 PM

1 clown short of a circus.

Yadi May 27, 2012 at 1:06 PM

I am soooooooooooooo there primero DIOS!!!

Su Padre June 3, 2012 at 11:40 PM

Awsome!!!

Conchis June 27, 2012 at 1:49 PM

Crezy escuchando sus cancionez las adoro

Conchis June 27, 2012 at 1:56 PM

Por Siempre y para Siempre su fan #1 I love you sr.fernandez

edgar el chilabert August 6, 2012 at 12:04 AM

plz let us know the date we are so ready to go

Juan Valdez September 17, 2012 at 4:50 PM

Chente is my co-pilot!

Mexifornian October 29, 2012 at 11:14 AM

Move over Mafia the Mexican Mafia is in the house!
Good luck to you Chente.

MInuto Man January 27, 2013 at 2:04 PM

I am there!

Erica S March 10, 2013 at 6:58 PM

What a load of crap!!!!! If this was meant to be funny it wasn’t I find it rather insulting

Rosalinda Sandoval July 21, 2013 at 8:51 PM

Insulting?? WTF is wrong with you. This man is one of the most beloved performers and gentlemen in the country of his birth. If you are insulted, stay the hell away….the rest of us won’t miss a bigoted bitch like you….

David fierro March 24, 2013 at 6:55 PM

Soooo not funny I myself find this very racist and offensive!!

Rosalinda Sandoval July 21, 2013 at 9:27 PM

Racist and Offensive???? How about the way our gente have been treated by the whites in this country…not even good enough to be considered second class citizens….they are your gardeners, cooks, nannies, and called every filthy word you can come up with. Vicente Fernandez has been an icon in Mexico, as well as among hispanics/Mexicans across the entire United States. Go be offended someplace else. I am proud of my Mexican heritage, the customs, the music, the respect. So go and buy yourself another burrito, pal

Efren Gomez November 13, 2013 at 4:41 AM

Esto sería fabuloso,así mucha gente de todo el mundo vería como es el verdadero Mexico, sus artistas ya desaparecidos, sus costumbres etc etc si se llega a dar los mexicanos nos vamos a sentir más orgullosos de lo que ya estamos de nuestro MEXICO.

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