The leprechauns are small, of course, and they live in trees in the Estado Libre y Soberano de Sinaloa. Some kids captured them with their phone cams, and we’ve got the Azteca Noticias news video.
Especial Correspondents
Francisco Garcia Lopez wins ‘Most Mexican Man in the World’
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Francisco Garcia Lopez was named Most Mexican Man in the World in the final episode of Who Is More Mexican ? (¿Quién es más mexicano?) recorded here last night, PNS has learned.
Audience members exiting the taping at Teatro Televisio said that winner Lopez (publicity photo, above) had impressed the judges with his singular dedication.
Lopez, a 37-year-old bachelor attorney, “underwent extreme body modification, all the way down to his prickly pear,” one excited fan gushed.
Mas…Francisco Garcia Lopez wins ‘Most Mexican Man in the World’
Otra DREAMer in London – I’m a stranger in a strange land
Six weeks have passed since my move to London; the start of new journey, a new dream. It is the first time in my life that I made the conscious decision to migrate. I did not have that choice at the age of nine when I was brought into the U.S. as an irregular migrant child, nor did I choose to return to Mexico when I was deported four years ago.
The excitement still lingers alongside a sense of exploration as I am afforded certain level of freedom to be able to reside in a foreign country legally to pursue a graduate degree. It took overcoming very difficulty challenges, but I did not do it alone. An entire community supported me along the way to be here. It is a privilege that I do not take lightly as well as a responsibility to represent the collective challenges of migrants who have gone through similar experiences wherever I am.
Mas…Otra DREAMer in London – I’m a stranger in a strange land
Tia Lencha’s Cocina explains El Dia de Los Muertos for you pochos
Happy Day of the Dead! Is Tia Lencha here. Many people ask me questions about Dia de Los Muertos. I answer the questions today.
Question numero one: Tia Lencha wass this Dia de los Muertos? Is it the Mexican Halloween?
Gwell, kind of, I say. Except that the Day of the Dead celebrations come from the indigenous pagan rituals that trace back 2,500 to 3,000 years ago. Way before Duane Reade sold Halloween candy.
Question numero two: Tia Lencha, wassup with the calaveras (“skulls” for you pochos)?
Bueno, before Jesus came along, people used to keep skulls of their loved ones (and maybe not so loved ones) as trophies. They showed off the skulls during the rituals as symbols of death and rebirth. Kind of heavy, no? I never say my history was all tequila shots and tacos.
Also, calaveras can be short poems, like epitaphs like to mock your friends. Like you can make fun of them on their tombstones. Like for mijo’s daddy, I wrote a calavera about him call “Oscar Meyer” because he like to stick his weenie ebrywhere! He no think it was so funny.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina explains El Dia de Los Muertos for you pochos
Mexican Football League fans: ‘WTF is the big deal about team names?’
(PNS reporting from TIJUANA) While the American sports industrial complex is still debating the insensitive and racist Native American mascot of the Washington Redskins, fans and players of the Mexican Football League (MFL) openly question the sensitivity of some in U.S. sports circles.
Tijuana resident and avid MFL fan Nestor Gil de Vaca is puzzled.
“What is the problem with the gringos?” he asked PNS. “Sports team mascots are just that, mascots. It’s not like they are real people. I am a huge fan of the Monterrey Judios, the Sonora Cadaveres and of course my home team, the Tijuana Travestis. No one is offended, we just like to enjoy football.”
Mas…Mexican Football League fans: ‘WTF is the big deal about team names?’
Feminists: The struggles of immigrants are our struggles, too
I’m often asked, “Where were you born?”
My answer? Houston, Texas.
“Where were your parents born?”
El Paso, Texas.
“Where were your grandparents born?”
El Paso, Texas, Balmorhea, Texas and Ft. Davis, Texas.
That is when people usually start to get frustrated and ask, “Well, where is your family from originally?”
The actual meaning behind this statement is “You are a brown-skinned woman and brown-skinned women are not native to the U.S.”
My answers explain that I am not the stranger. Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Colorado, Nevada and Utah were all once part of Mexico, after all.
Mas…Feminists: The struggles of immigrants are our struggles, too
Pocho Ocho other things Christopher Columbus totally got wrong
Aside from not sailing to “India,” Christopher Columbus got many other things wrong:
8. He forgot the extra pair of chonies his abuela packed for him.
7. He named all of his ships after cholas, but forgot La Sad Girl.
6. He didn’t stop to ask for directions.
Mas…Pocho Ocho other things Christopher Columbus totally got wrong
Careful, ladies: Driving ‘rolls up the pelvis’ and Pocho Ocho other things
Driving is bad for your lady parts, according to Saudi Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Luhaydan, a “judicial and psychological consultant to the Gulf Psychological Association.”
Driving ‘could have a reverse physiological impact. Physiological science and functional medicine studied this side [and found] that it automatically affects ovaries and rolls up the pelvis. This is why we find for women who continuously drive cars their children are born with clinical disorders of varying degrees,” al-Luhaydayn told Saudi news website sabq.org.
But that’s only the beginning of the problems that are caused when women take the wheel. Here’s the sheikh’s list of the Pocho Ocho other side-effects:
Mas…Careful, ladies: Driving ‘rolls up the pelvis’ and Pocho Ocho other things
Dallas dude discovers damning details re Mexicans — they are dope
A Dallas dude has discovered the dastardly truth about Mexicans: They are dope:
When a student at a Dallas community college searched “Mexican” on the popular online reference website Thesaurus.com for help with an essay, he found that 23 slang terms for marijuana come up.
Mas…Dallas dude discovers damning details re Mexicans — they are dope
Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Sophie Wasserman, Ph.D.
They were just ordinary people, living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstances conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
Sophie Wasserman, Ph.D., (1923-2001) was a DuPont chemical engineer and the chief scientist behind the petroleum polymer extrusion technologies used to manufacture smooth sheets of soft and flexible plastic “fabrics.”
One of her innovative new materials was branded as Corinthian Leather, the Chrysler Cordoba luxury feature that led to fame and fortune for Ricardo Mantalban, the Most Corinthian Man in the World:
Mas…Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Sophie Wasserman, Ph.D.
Did Uncle Sam kill Tupac Shakur and Michael Jackson? (video)
Did the United States government kill Tupac Shakur and Michael Jackson as part of a plot to “control African-American youth through their music?” Former Defense Department operative Robert Connors says we’ll find out Monday next week! [Note: We tried to run a copy of this video earlier today but it was removed from LiveLeak just after we published our story at 7:30 AM. Please email editor@pocho.com if you see a ‘video no longer exists’ screen before we notice it. Gracias.]
Rebel Diaz: ‘I’m An Alien’ [music video]
From Chicago to the Bronx, Rebel Diaz makes music that fights racism and celebrates indigenous people. Is there something familiar about this song’s chorus? I’m An Alien includes a sample from Sting’s Englishman in New York.
- PREVIOUSLY ON NEW JACK CITY:
My Shocking True Confession: Yes, I am a ‘Chipster’
I’m a textbook Chipster.
I ride a pink road bike named Rosita or a commuter folding bike, rock the thrift store combat boots with floral print dresses, listen to independent local artists like Chicano Batman, L@s Cafeter@s, eat vegan burritos, etc.
As a matter of fact, one or more of my closest companer@s can check the boxes off POCHO’s Chiptser Check-off list. It’s with this Curriculum Vitae that I am qualified to write on the Chipster question, right?
[Sponsored] CIA’s new drone flights were designed with you in mind!
Our new drone flights were designed with you in mind.
It’s a difficult world, so why make it any more difficult?
Your Central Intelligence Agency is now offering select targets the option of upgrading to CIA Business Class Drone Flights.
For a small fee, you’ll get exclusive benefits and special treatment:
- E-checkout. NSA computers update your Facebook and Twitter accounts within seconds of your confirmed elimination.
- Expedited departure. No lines. No waiting. No trial. No judicial review.
Mas…[Sponsored] CIA’s new drone flights were designed with you in mind!
Dreams Without Borders: I am going to grad school in London
On August 5 I launched a fundraising effort which I named Dreams Without Borders.
It is about a dream that had been buried along with many other aspirations for some time. After graduating from college when residing in the U.S., I knew I wanted to earn a graduate degree.
I had not figured out exactly what I would pursue but I was sure it had to be aligned with my life purpose; a work in progress that was halted the day I returned to Mexico.
Nancy Landa was brought to the U.S. without papers when she was a child and grew up in Southern California. She graduated with honors from Cal State Northridge where she also served as student body president. And then she was deported. She introduced herself in this POCHO story.
Some of us experience life-altering moments, those in which we see our dreams fall into pieces right in front of us. In my case, a border became the physical and emotional barrier to a future I had once envisioned.
Some of my friends encouraged me to look for options to continue my education in Mexico. Given that it was my country of nationally, it was assumed I would be able to pursue opportunities I was not easily afforded as an undocumented immigrant in the United States. Right?
Mas…Dreams Without Borders: I am going to grad school in London
What is it? Brazil cyclists capture shiny UFO on video
An unidentified flying object has been photographed over the Serra do Gado Bravo in Brazil by two cyclists, according to England’s Alien Disclosure Group:
Witnesses Raimundo Swimming and Igor Geovani managed to take some photos of the mystery object before it shot away at high speed.
According to Swimming and Geovani, the shiny oval-shaped UFO hovered for some 15 minutes.
Pocho Ocho First World Back-to-School Problems
We don’t know what the schedule is in your barrio, but here in Pocho Estates, A Gated Community, the kids are starting a new school year.
We know it’s not easy, the way things are in the world today. The Libtard’s “climate change” hoax, the Federal Reserve’s phony money and Obummer’s Gay Socialist Nazi Muslim New World Order all conspire to make things difficult, especially for you, Mr. or Ms. Returning to School First World Entitled Student.
So the world better understands your plight, we’ve compiled your Pocho Ocho back-to-school gripes:
8. I didn’t get the new iPhone
7. My bulletproof backpack is so heavy
6. My parents say no tattoo until senior year
Pocho Ocho other smartphone alerts besides Amber Alerts
The Golden State’s smartphone users were startled late Monday night and early Tuesday morning as their phones buzzed, beeped and/or flashed an Amber Alert, the very first issued by the California Highway Patrol.
The Los Angeles Times reports:
It’s all thanks to the Wireless Emergency Alert program, a cellphone version of the Emergency Alert System that gives you the high-pitched test tone on your television.
Cellphone owners receive messages automatically, based on their proximity to the emergency, not based on their phone number.
And while accused kidnapper James Lee DiMaggio and kidnap victims Hannah Anderson, 16, and Ethan Anderson, 8, are still missing, cellphone owners have found that their iPhones, Androids and BlackBerries have the potential to issue alerts for all sorts of things.
Here are the Pocho Ocho potential alerts you probably weren’t aware of:
8. The Meta Amber Alert: Another Amber Alert is coming soon, so don’t freak the hell out
7. Like A Good Neighbor Alert: George Zimmerman just joined your Neighborhood Watch
6. Stinking Badges Alert: Sheriff Joe Arpaio is rounding up a posse
Pocho Ocho sketchy substances in Mexican hot sauce besides lead
NBC reports that El Pato Salsa Picante has been withdrawn from the American market because tests found it was contaminated with lead. El Pato is just one of several Mexican salsa brands that contain the poisonous substance, according to scientists at the University of Nevada Las Vegas.
Of course, there’s no way lead is the only nasty in these little bottles. And sure enough — buried in footnotes at the bottom of the report — are the Pocho Ocho OTHER sketchy substances in Mexican hot sauce:
8. The average Cholula bottle contains 10 micrograms per deciliter of the “Bacillus Botas Picudas”, an organic pathogen thought to be behind the craving for pointy boots.
7. Habaneros chiles may be the top ingredient in El Yucateco Salsa Picante de Chile Habanero, but lurking at the bottom of the list are 8.8 micrograms per deciliter of “Barba Habanera,” said to be a homeopathic solution of hair scraped from Comrade Fidel’s razor.
Mas…Pocho Ocho sketchy substances in Mexican hot sauce besides lead
Are you a ‘Chipster’ (Chicano + hipster)? Pocho Ocho ways to tell
Are you a Chipster (Chicano + hipster)? There are Pocho Ocho ways to tell. You might be a Chipster if…
8. You wear skinny jeans instead of Levi’s when swimming at the beach
7. You scored a medical marijuana prescription to protect you from the ojo
6. Your tricked-out chrome lowrider bike is a vintage Schwinn fixie
Mas…Are you a ‘Chipster’ (Chicano + hipster)? Pocho Ocho ways to tell
They know what we want! Pocho Ocho trendiest Latino baby foods
BURNS: Smithers! The Latinos! With the demographics! And the babies! Quick, we need Latino baby food! It’s a goldmine of a wagon de band upon which we must to hop!
SMITHERS: But, Mr. Burns? Latino baby food? WTF? For God’s sake, man, we already have Clorox Latino. When will the madness end?
BURNS: It’s already happening, Smithers, and I just read on Fox Latino that “one of the concerns that Hispanic mothers have is losing touch with their culture and their culinary roots.” Cashing in on concerns is the capitalist way, Smithers. Release the perros!
What are these trendy Latino baby food items anyhow? We’ve got the deets on the Pocho Ocho:
Mas…They know what we want! Pocho Ocho trendiest Latino baby foods
Pocho Ocho ways to tell you’re watching ‘Latino ñews’
It’s no surprise to us Pochodores — it’s why we started POCHO.COM:
Actual research reveals more and more U.S. Latinos are getting their ñews in Ingles — ñews from respected journalists like brothers Jorge Cooper-Ramos (right), and Anderson Ramos-Cooper (left.)
OK, sometimes Latinos get their ñews from Gustavo Almadovar live in the O.C., but not lately.
Meanwhile, Univision is leading in the July ratings wars with the most viewers under 50, the first time a Spanish-language network topped the charts.
Breaking: Royal baby boy looks a bit familiar somehow (photo)
(PNS reporting from LONDON) Normally perky Buckingham Palace Her Majesty’s Parking Valet Reymundo Hernandez Terraza was uncharacteristically quiet today after the birth of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s new baby boy, although some friends of the royal servant noticed he sported a “secret smile.”
Some Palace observers have remarked on the newborn’s apparent slight suntan, attributing the child’s skin tone to Britain’s recent heat wave, when temperatures soared into the high 60s.
Mas…Breaking: Royal baby boy looks a bit familiar somehow (photo)
White Hispanics: ‘Hey! We’re not ALL murderous douchebags’
“White Hispanic” is one of mainstream media’s hottest new buzzwords, a term that has leaped off of old census forms and job applications to join the ranks of “twerking,” “3-D printing,” and “Death to Edward Snowden!”
The mainstream media needs to distinguish between different colors of Latinos because it was too polite to ask “Why is Trayvon Martin’s killer, George Zimmerman, so… DARK for his name? And isn’t Aaron Hernandez, that allegedly trigger-happy New England Patriots player, a little… LIGHT for his?”
I guess I could be called a “White Hispanic,” as my dad’s from Colombia and my Yiddishe momme reps Brooklyn. I really wish it didn’t take two high-profile killings to bring Latino-and-white people into the public eye, but Linda Ronstadt (photo) and Joan Baez aren’t making new albums and Little Ricky’s been off TV for a while.
Mas…White Hispanics: ‘Hey! We’re not ALL murderous douchebags’
Latinos in Hollywood? First of all, who are these so-called ‘Latinos?’
I disagree with Dennis Leoni.
In the POCHO article, he says this: “One more time, what do we need to do? BUILD OUR OWN MARKETPLACE!”
Here’s my take: It won’t work. It simply will not work. Why? Because the so-called “Latino” experience cannot be compared to the African-American experience in the United States. The “Latino” experience is different for each of us.
Latinos are culturally diverse. Yawn. Haven’t we heard this a million times already? Yet, it probably hasn’t really sunk in. A Mexican-American story will be different from a Puerto-Rican story, a Dominican story, a Colombian story, etc. It will also be different from a Mexican immigrant story, a Nuyorican story, an Ecuadorian/Irish story. Assimilation changes who we are. Migration changes who we are.
Mas…Latinos in Hollywood? First of all, who are these so-called ‘Latinos?’
Mijo: I like your new home, pero no fierro on the windows?
Mijo:
I’m proud of you. This home is very big with hardwood floors, even in the kitchen! As you know, I prefer tile with a rosy color, como la cathedral in Zacatecas. The country kitchen is very impressive. It’s not like any country kitchen como en mi rancho, but these are new times and a new country; And the abundance of wood paneling does look impressive. It is cedro? Still, how can you reclantar tortillas on an electric stove? Your ama is already confused by it. Y eso? To store wine? Pero tambien to store some Herradura? Esta cocina has windows everywhere! Have you thought about putting fierro on them?
Mas…Mijo: I like your new home, pero no fierro on the windows?
Pocho Ocho new items on TX Gov. Rick Perry’s to-do list
Rick Perry announced Monday he won’t be running for reelection as Texas’ governor.
So what’s up next for this GOP favorite? Here are the Pocho Ocho things on Rick Perry’s to-do list:
8. Concentrate his hatred on a wider range of disenfranchised groups
7. Sign with the Lakers
6. Spend more time with the Westboro Baptist family
[Guest Editorial] Let’s face it, Morrissey was bad for Egypt
Morrissey was neither qualified nor cholafied to run Egypt. Totally in the Nile.
Srsly. “By order of the Prophet,” he banned that boogie sound. WTF?
Muslim Brotherhood, my peckerwood! If the rebels get re-Tweeted, the tyrant is defeated.
In ancient Africa, the pharoahs and pharoahitas communicated with Sirius the Dog Star — long before the white devils barked at the Moon. Nubians found the Monolith, and we were nubies no more.
Mas…[Guest Editorial] Let’s face it, Morrissey was bad for Egypt
Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)
The anti-abortion SB5 bill was delayed but not defeated after Sen. Wendy Davis’s spectacular filibuster with pink sneakers, but the battle for common sense in Texas (photo, above) continues.
We already told you about the attempt to outlaw “looking too Mexican,” but that’s not the only trick the Republicans have up their (cotton-poly-blend) sleeves.
From our Ostin Especial Correspondents — this just in — here are the GOP’s Pocho Ocho new proposals for Texas:
8. Henceforth, the value for Pi π shall, for efficiency purposes, be rounded down to 3.00; additionally only apple pi is permitted
7. SB666, dubbed the “God Is My Co-Pilot Bill,” requires a Gideon Bible in every glove compartment
6. Hug a tree, go to jail
Mas…Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)
2 Pochas Podcast: Adios, June — damn wedding bells! (audio)
Elise Roedenbeck and Sara Inés Calderón are happy June is over with all those damn weddings! But now the gays are back in play! What’s a modern single woman to do? [The podcast is at the bottom of this post after this list of oldies…]
Previously on the 2 Pochas Podcast:
Mas…2 Pochas Podcast: Adios, June — damn wedding bells! (audio)
Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The Senate’s approval of a bipartisan “immigration reform” bill Thursday — a bill which Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) says will create “the most militarized border since the Berlin Wall” — has defense contractors talking, and drooling.
The hot topic? The untold millions of dollars that may become available if Uncle Sam gets serious about “security.”
It’s the inevitable transition, cynics say, from Eisenhower’s old-school military-industrial complex to the new Post-Millennial MIGRA-Industrial Complex. But government contractors and suppliers have a more nuanced view.
Mas…Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’
Pocho Ocho things you should know now that Salvadorans > Cubans
People with roots in El Salvador may soon replace Cuban-Americans as the third-largest “Hispanic-origin group,” according to The Pew Research Center:
For more than 40 years, one rock-solid element of Hispanic demographics has been the relative ranking of the three largest Hispanic-origin groups: Mexicans have always been the largest by population, followed by Puerto Ricans and then Cubans.
But this may be changing. The Salvadoran population’s growth rate has been about double that of the Cuban population (33% versus 17%). As a result, the Salvadoran population is now poised to overtake the Cuban population in the next few years.
But what does this mean to me, you ask? Here are the Pocho Ocho things you should know about your new neighbors:
Mas…Pocho Ocho things you should know now that Salvadorans > Cubans