What’s way more powerful than all of the ignorance coming out of #MurrietaHateCityUSA? The power of a philanthropic pocho! And better yet, the power of a whole lot of philanthropic pochos and pochas. Watch, that’ll show them!
Especial Correspondents
Hate Letter of the Day: Dear Lala, you racist hypocrite
Mexicans and Anglo Americans are exactly alike. You are just as racist Mejicanoh, oh wait, I mean, Chicano… Meixcan American… I forget, you don’t consider yourselves Mexican… or do you. You MeCHA Aztlanersss get me all confused. Or wait, you don’t consider yourselves Latino but rather.. MESSICAN!
ANYWAYS… so, as I was saying, you share the same RACIST views, in fact, you’re no different than right wing Caucasian Americans, whom at least are upfront about their racism and xenophobia, you’re more aligned with Liberal Democrats whom subversively are racist.
Mas...Hate Letter of the Day: Dear Lala, you racist hypocrite
Pocho Ocho top Spanglish text message abbreviations
An Australian company has compiled the Top 100 get message abbreviations they use in Oz (photo) and we realized the list from way way overseas totally leaves out the abbreviations we pochos use.
Here are the Pocho Ocho most popular Spanglish text message abbreviations:
8. FTP: Fuck That Puto
7. ADM: Ay Dios Mio
6. NMG: No Mames Guey
Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil vs Alemania futbol FAIL
Tuesday’s disastrous Brazil-Germany FIFA2014 World Cup futbol match, which ended in Germany whipping the host country 7-1, has saddened the nation (photo.) And on Wednesday, Brazil’s soccer fans were struggling to understand what exactly went wrong.
We analyzed press and social media reactions and translated from the Portuguese to bring you their Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil’s FAIL:
8. Blame it on the bossa nova, with its magic spell.
7. All those pesky Hitler clones on the Brazil team let Germany win.
6. Alemania? We thought we were playing Ally McBeal!
Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil vs Alemania futbol FAIL
White Boy ChIcano (a poem)
White Boy Chicano
It’s an identity crisis
My parents are Mexican migrants, who stay busy all the time
Spanish is my first language, then almost losing it because of time
My TV only showed Mexicans involved in crime
The stereotypes didn’t represent me
My school peers didn’t believe me
I wasn’t Mexican or White
Being a gringo and Mehican left me asking,
Who am I? Where do I belong to?
Pinche White Boy
Watch: In Brazil, one fútbol fan floats some social criticism
How’s your Portuguese? The LiveLeak uploader says this high-tech balsero is yelling “Why do we need hospitals, roads, schools and public security if we have the World Cup? Give [me] my beer to enjoy this shit!”
Area futbol fans celebrate El Tri’s 3-1 victory over Croatia (photo)
(PNS reporting from HUNTINGTON PARK, CALIFAS) Hundreds of local athletic supporters — fans of the Mexican World Cup futbol team — celebrated El Tri’s 3-1 victory over Croatia Monday afternoon (photo, above). The celebration was mostly peaceful and Huntington Park police said only four fans were arrested — three for disorderly conduct and one for leaning like a cholo in the wrong direction.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Is Spanish-language TV futbol play-by-play racist? (audio)
When American Latinos watch Spanish-langugage FIFA broadcasts from Brazil, some are shocked by the casual use of words like “greña” and “moreno” that would be considered offensive in the U.S. This report from Public Radio International explores the controversy:
PREVIOUSLY ON SPANISH TV:
Mas…Is Spanish-language TV futbol play-by-play racist? (audio)
Dear gringa who wants to defend the Mexican food in New Jork
I read jur article ^^^^ on the google about the Los Angeles Mexican food is not better than the New Jork food but different. Tia Lencha’s chonies are in a bunch. Is that how ju say? Ju don know what ju are talking about.
These are the reasons gwhy:
- In jur articulo, ju spend mos jur time talking about Los Angeles. That is because it has a long history of Mexican people live there. Even ju say that it used to be Mexico, tonta!
- Ju say the Yelpers jelp it, the media and the general peoples all say Los Angeles Mexican food is better. Thas a lot of peoples.
- “Get the fuck over it” and “blah, blah, blah” are no legitimate argumentations.
Mas…Dear gringa who wants to defend the Mexican food in New Jork
USMNT scores against Ghana, Times Square reacts [video]
(PNS reporting From NEW YORK CITY) The Jumbotron in Times Square in New Jack City flashes news of a g o o o o a l by USMNT forward Herculez Gomez in World Cup competition against Ghana and Manhattan passersby react as only New Yorkers can.
What is it? Multicolored UFO/OVNI buzzes beach in Chile (video)
A colorful OVNI/UFO buzzed the beachfront promenade in the northern Chilean city of La Serena and was recorded by a group of young people late last month.
The video was recorded at the La Serena beachfront promenade La Avenida del Mar, a location popular with tourists. As Chilean news site El Observatodo describes, the UFO video shows a small yellow light moving in the sky at different speeds and quickly changing altitude. And, according to UFO Digest, one of the witnesses can be heard in the video stating that the UFO lands in an empty lot on the beach before ascending again.
Mas…What is it? Multicolored UFO/OVNI buzzes beach in Chile (video)
Everyone wins a World Cup of Everything Else (infographics)
If there were a World Cup for the Highest Percentage of Middle-Aged Unmarried Women Between 45 and 49, Brazil would win! ¡Ole!
In the World Cup for the Futbol Team with the Most Twitter Followers, the winner is Selección Mexicana, @miseleccionmx on the Tuiter:
Mas…Everyone wins a World Cup of Everything Else (infographics)
Brazil sex workers learn English to prep for World Cup (NSFW video)
The Association of Prostitutes of Minas Gerais is teaching English to sex workers to help them deal with foreign customers. The state will host a match between Costa Rica and England and expects horny hordes of visiting futbol fans. Monday’s class, run by Igor Fuchs, was the last before today’s formal start of the games in Sao Paolo. [NSFW adult language and images.]
Along with normal conversational vocabulary, the students also learn words which might be used during encounters with clients. Sex work has been legal in Brazil since the year 2000.
Ex-Daily Show contributor John Oliver (Last Week Tonight on HBO) has some excellent World Cup coverage, too:
Mas…Brazil sex workers learn English to prep for World Cup (NSFW video)
Breaking Ñews: Map shows common Asian languages by state
(PNS reporting from NORMAL, ILL) Demographers at Pocho Asian American Policy Institute (PAAPI) here have just released a new map detailing the most common Asian languages spoken in the U.S., broken out on a state by state basis, in English and Spanish. [Click on image to enlarge.]
Mas…Breaking Ñews: Map shows common Asian languages by state
TGIF POCHO Personals: Nathan, 21, is looking for love (photo)
Love in the hood? He’s only 41 miles away and comes equipped with sombrero, maracas and is a big fan of soft-shell tacos. TGIF from all the Pochodores and good luck.
Christina Angelina paints massive mural in Downtown L.A. (video)
Venice, California artist Christina Angelina and friends recently painted a massive mural on an apartment building wall in downtown Los Angeles. Here’s how they did it.
PREVIOUSLY ON STREET ART:
Mas…Christina Angelina paints massive mural in Downtown L.A. (video)
Pocho Ocho upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used
As POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano noted Friday, Chipotle Mexican Grill pulled a boner when it decided to put short stories from ten famous authors on its cups and bags but couldn’t find one Latino with words worthy enough to wrap its burritos.
There’s now a Facebook book group organizing around this issue and the Pochodores have been brainstorming inspirational packaging ideas as well.
First off all, short stories? Srsly? TL;DR, amiright?
Here are the Pocho Ocho more upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used:
8. There’s a reason you separate the military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people. (Commander William Adama.)
7. Repression….Recession. It’s all the same thing, man. (Cheech Marin.)
6. In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face some day. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo. (Lucky Day.)
Mas…Pocho Ocho upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used
Did movie monster-maker H.R. Giger make El Chupacabra?
The death this week of artist H.R. Giger — best known for the fantastic creatures he created for films like Alien and Species — has unleashed some fascinating speculation about his role in shaping other people’s realities.
Did his creations inspire the descriptions of face-to-face enounters with El Chupacabra?
Prior to 1995, chupacbras were typically described as dog-like creatures, according to one expert. The CryptoZoooNews reports:
Pocho Ocho weirdest things found in Columbus’ Santa Maria shipwreck
The wreck of slave-trader and hopelessly-lost “explorer” Christopher Columbus’ Santa Maria flagship has been found off the coast of Haiti, according to reports.
The ship’s five-century-old cannon was looted but archaeologists are excited by eight unusual items they were able to retrieve from the ship, the Pocho Ocho weirdest items found on the Santa Maria:
8. Antique syphilis specially imported into the Western Hemisphere by his crew
7. The most extensive collection of 15th-century porn ever found outside the Vatican Library
6. A Ferdinand and Isabella “after sex selfie” oil painting
Mas…Pocho Ocho weirdest things found in Columbus’ Santa Maria shipwreck
Why Rep. Joe Garcia (D-Miami) picked his ear wax, ate it on TV (video)
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) A close look at a recent C-SPAN video reveals that Florida Democratic Congressman Joe Garcia, Jr. picked his ear wax and ate it on live TV, a Cuban folkloric ritual rarely seen outside Miami’s Cuban-American community.
“La Ceremonia de la Cera del Oído can be traced to a curandero who lived in Guantanamera, Cuba around 1750 or so,” University of Miami Professor of Anthropology Freso “Biff” del Blanco told PNS.
“By eating the ear wax in public, the eater hopes to symbolically ingest and consume all that he is hearing through his ears, to better understand the cacophony of voices in his head.”
Mas…Why Rep. Joe Garcia (D-Miami) picked his ear wax, ate it on TV (video)
UFO/OVNI buzzes Fajardo, PR on Cinco de Mayo (video)
A security camera in Fajardo, PR (eastern tip of the island) has captured an OVNI/UFO zipping up, up and away, exactly as an eyewitness reported to PuertoRicoUFOs.com:
Odd Couple Brazil: He’s 5’3″, she’s 6’6″ – because love (video)
Francinaldo da Silva, 23, is 1.6 meters tall (5’3″) and Elisany da Cruz Silva, 18, is 2 meters tall (6’6″) but the height discrepancy is no impediment to true love, at least according to this Chinese video about the newly-engaged Brazilian couple with English and Chinese captions narrated by a posh (Australian?) announcer.
Our assessment: She looks much taller than 2 meters. What do you think?
POCHO Asks America: How did you celebrate Cinco de Mayo?
POCHO sent reporters to bars and parties, barbecues and parades all across the United Estates to find out how Americans were celebrating Cinco de Mayo. Here’s what they said:
- CLYDE WORKMAN, DETROIT: I’m squeezing limes into my 40’s
- TAD BROGET, PRINCETON: Naturally, one had one’s valet bring a snifter of proper reposado
- PANAMA RED, DENVER: A dank day for primo Oaxacan, meng! [Coughs.]
Mas…POCHO Asks America: How did you celebrate Cinco de Mayo?
Stars to record ‘You Are An ^%$#’ for Donald Sterling [photos,video]
(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Stars from television, music and sports are set to gather in the old A&M sound stages (now the Henson Studios) on La Brea Avenue here today to record a rebuke to Donald Sterling, racist owner of the Los Angeles Clippers.
Galvanized by community organizer Emiliano Zapata Shabazz-Jones, who wears the mantle of slain civil rights pioneer Ricky Martin Luther King, the assembled stars will record The Donald Sterling Song — You Are An ^%$#.
“This ain’t no National Honky League,” Shabazz-Jones wrote in a scorching email scheduling the superstar session, “and we ain’t dancing to no Sweet Georgia Brown on Maggie’s Farm no more!”
Mas…Stars to record ‘You Are An ^%$#’ for Donald Sterling [photos,video]
Losing your religion on the Internets and Pocho Ocho other things
The more you use the Internets, the more likely you are to lose your religion, according to a new study.
America is less religious than ever before. The number of Americans who reported no religious affiliation has been growing rapidly, doubling since 1990. That kind of rapid change matches another societal trend — growth in Internet use. The percentage of Americans who say they used the Internet went from nearly zero in 1990 to 87 percent this year.
Now, a detailed data analysis finds the two trends aren’t just related, but that wider Internet use may actually be leading us to lose our religion.
Mas…Losing your religion on the Internets and Pocho Ocho other things
National Poetry Month: ‘Obama Shoulda Seen This’ (NSFW video, photos)
National Poetry Month means — to us — poems by and for the people, like Jesús Iñiguez with his poem about immigration. Spoiler alert — Iñiguez is not exactly happy with Administration policies and questions President Obama’s legacy. [NSFW “F-bomb.”]
Post by Jesús Iñiguez.
More from the Obama Legacy blog:
Mas…National Poetry Month: ‘Obama Shoulda Seen This’ (NSFW video, photos)
Texas GOP politician’s Tweet makes him ‘Pendejo of the Month’
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Texas State Senator Dan Patrick, a Republican Lieutenant Governor wannabe, was named Pendejo of the Month Wednesday by the American Pochismo Institute (API.) The award followed his Univision debate Tuesday with San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro (photo.)
API’s designation, which is usually not revealed until the end of the month, was awarded Wednesday to Patrick for actions “Above And Beyond the Call of Douchery” after Patrick sent this Tweet Tuesday evening about how much he loves “Hispanics:”
Mas…Texas GOP politician’s Tweet makes him ‘Pendejo of the Month’
Mom feeds baby salsa to mooch burgers (photos, video)
(PNS reporting from RANCHO POCHO ESTATES) In a shocking file uploaded to the Internets last week, a mom in suburban Southern California has been captured on video feeding her baby hot salsa in a baby bottle in order to pay for her husband’s “picante burger” habit.
In the video, a spicy burger pusher known only as “Jack” — his true identity hidden by a grotesque disguise — rings the family’s doorbell and pretends to be religious missionary so the neighbors don’t suspect. “Do you have three minutes to talk about spicy hamburgers?” he asks burger-junkie Juan Desperado, who opens the door.
“I have some something here I think you’ll like,” the pusher says.
Local PC user laments passing of Windows XP: ‘RIP, BSOD!’
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) “It’s a sad day, ese,” said Ray “Code Boy” Santos, OG founder of area hacker clika MS2 (MS.DOS). “I saw the Windows XP Blue Screen of Death (BSOD) so often, he was mi hermano.”
“We used the XP version of Excel to tweak the hydraulics of Felipe’s ranfla. And I used to have weird dreams about the 3D pipes screensaver,” he told PNS Thursday. “All we had for music in those days was pinche Winamp, carnal, and we liked it!”
Mas…Local PC user laments passing of Windows XP: ‘RIP, BSOD!’
Pocho Ocho reasons why Latinos are Hollywood’s best customers
U.S. Latinos went to the movies in 2013 way more often than other ethnic groups, according to the Motion Picture Association of America. Latinos are 17% of the population but account for 32% of moviegoers who went to more than one movie a month.
Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons why Latinos are Hollywood’s best customers:
8. Air conditioning
7. You can sneak in your own meal
6. Fewer crying kids than at a birthday party
Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons why Latinos are Hollywood’s best customers
We’re Number One! California leads nation in active hate groups
The Golden State leads in nation in the number of active hate groups, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center.
California hosts 77 hate orgs, the report said. Florida was second with 58 groups of haters, and Texas placed third with 57.
Mas…We’re Number One! California leads nation in active hate groups
Pope: ‘Quakes are message from God: Let there be gay’
(PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) The recent earthquakes in Southern California are a message from God, according to Pope Francis. The Almighty, he told a visiting delegation of American Catholics Monday, will shake things up until they are more gay.
“Lord knows this mortal world needs some bright flashes of color that aren’t suicide bomb explosions in crowded markets,” the Pontiff said.”And maybe some marigold-print cafe curtains in that drab nook over there.”