LALO ALCARAZ

Lalo Alcaraz is Jefe-in-Chief of POCHO.

Young undocumented immigrants line up to apply for Deferred Action

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(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Hundreds of thousands of undocumented immigrants brought to this country as children are applying today for a deportation reprieve under a new program established by the Obama administration.

DREAMers will receive a two­-year deferment of deportation proceedings. If approved by U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, those DREAMers can also apply for a work permit and later reapply for another deportation deferment.

Some of the details of the program are still being ironed out. Eliseo Medrano of Aurora, who was lined up (photo, left) at the Chicago FCIS Office said, “I didn’t know there was going to be a talent portion to the application today. I suppose I can sing “Volver” or something.”

Mas…Young undocumented immigrants line up to apply for Deferred Action

Fluffy Gabriel Iglesias caught Driving While Brown in Arizona

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Chicano comic Gabriel Iglesias found out first hand what it’s like to be caught Driving While Brown in Arizona.

Iglesias, who is currently on tour, was pulled over between Yuma and Phoenix in his giant tour bus (that bears his likeness and name), and his entire crew was subjected to a “papers please” search.

Iglesias said after the incident that he has “madd love” for Arizona but might paint his tour bus with Larry the Cable Guy next time around.

Click all the way through to see Gabriel’s own quote!

By way of the mas chingon Three Sonorans blog!

Breaking Ñews: GOP VP pick Paul Ryan reveals his new budget plan

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(PNS reporting from KANSAS CITY) GOP Vice Presidential candidate Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., is introducing his budget plan to voters today and POCHO is on the scene as he begins his press conference (photo, above.)

  • Check back with POCHO for updates — we break the ñews 24/7.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

‘La Cucaracha’ salutes Hollywood great Lupe Ontiveros (toon)

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I drew this tribute obituary comic strip for the great actress and activist Lupe Ontiveros,  who passed away on July 26. In this strip, Vero, Eddie and Cuco send off Lupe as she appears before her Hollywood Walk of Fame star in the sky. Lupe was a one-of-a-kind soul who brought lots of joy to many.

This image was displayed at her rosary and wake.

Read more about Lupe here, and see more La Cucaracha comics at Go Comics.

White Supremacists: This I.Q. test weeds out the really stupid ones

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White supremacists are getting increasingly stupid. When I visited the Stormfront web page (screenshot above) I found it incorrectly displayed in all its “HTML View” glory, proclaiming a twisted worldview of “White Pride World Wide.”

I hope the portly Web Nazi who uploaded his masterpiece realizes that it actually highlights the supremacy of Black HTML Text over a White European background.

And how about the skinheaded dishonorable human discharge in Milwaukee who attacked a Sikh temple? He was so stupid he shot and murdered the peaceful Sikhs because they wore turbans.

Thank Aryan Jesus that our Blonde Lord decreed that his stupid-ass disciple Wade Michael Page was to die in a pool of his own inferior blood. At least those superior genes will not go on.

To weed out the growing idiocy in the White Supremacy movement, we’ve created a very helpful Aryan I.Q. Test that organizations full of morons like the Aryan Nations, The National Association for the Advancement of White People, the Arizona Hammerskins and the Nazi Low Riders can use to cull their members before they do even more stupid crap.

Mas…White Supremacists: This I.Q. test weeds out the really stupid ones

Community offers a loving goodbye to Lupe Ontiveros

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They say everyone loves you when you’re dead. Everyone can also love you when you’re alive, if you’re Lupe Ontiveros.

The funny, talented and bursting with life Mexican-American actress passed away last Thursday in Whittier, CA.

My son and I attended Lupe Ontiveros’ Rosary service last night in Pico Rivera to pay our last respects to Lupe and her family. (See my photo of program from the memorial service.)

It was overflowing with family, friends and fans. One of her three sons read an opening note (sent via Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis) from President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama,  a message of condolence from the White House.

Everybody in Chicano theater and film was there, including Zoot Suit playwright Luis Valdez, actor Edward James Olmos, Vanessa Marquez, Pepe Serna, Evelina Fernandez, the guys from Culture Clash, UFW co-founder Dolores Huerta, current UFW President Arturo Rodriguez and many more. A girl in a “Goonies Forever” T-shirt sat near us in the balcony.

Continued at NBC Latino…

Col. Sanders on Chick-Fil-A: Gay? What’s the big clucking deal?

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(PNS reporting from DIXIE) Legendary chicken mogul Col. Harlan Sanders is a hawk in the chicken culture wars and he’s not afraid to let the whole clucking chicken world know it.

The white-haired international icon and Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food magnate today issued this statement:

I completely respect the Chick-Fil-A chicken restaurant business built by CEO Dan Cathy, and the Christian principles you espouse are fine as wine, but come on, give it a Goddamn rest. Are you selling chicken or your dumb-ass views? This guy is as full of wind as a corn-eating horse.

I personally don’t give a good Goddamn what the homos do in the privacy of their nicely-decorated bedrooms. Hell, they can do it in the bathroom of the KFC, I don’t give a June Bug’s nut sack! I just want their money. Do I hate gay marriage? Who gives a duck’s ass?! Buy some of my chicken. Come in with your flamin’ gay self and order a bucket of Original, Crispy, or BBQ. Hell, I might even come up with a new flavor, “Extra Gay”!

Mas…Col. Sanders on Chick-Fil-A: Gay? What’s the big clucking deal?

Anaheim police brutality protest t-shirt fundraiser

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Specify Tshirt Size Wanted!


Paypal button simplified! Please write in what size Tshirt you want, ie: S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL

I created the above image as a response to the outrageous and murderous police brutality by the Anaheim Police Department recently against two young men in the Anaheim barrio. The families are not only dealing with protesting against the Anaheim PD and City Hall, but also the costs of funerals for these two men, arguably executed by the Anaheim PD.

Mas…Anaheim police brutality protest t-shirt fundraiser

Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-a-Dee-Guns; Hola Anaheim, We’re Havin’ Fun

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Now in the shadows of the world’s most famous amusement park residents of Anaheim are bravely (and in some cases stupidly) confronting the Anaheim Police Department, an at times callous, authoritative government power that isn’t accustomed to being questioned even when it executes people. Crisis always spurs creativity and the most original ideas are presently forming outside of the gates of Disneyland.


Art by Lalo Alcaraz, photo by Johnny Nguyen.

Lupe Ontiveros (1942-2012) RIP

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Funny and talented Mexican-American actress Lupe Ontiveros passed away last night in Whittier, CA. Lupe was an accomplished actress and community activist and will be missed.

Born in El Paso, TX on Sept. 17, 1942, she appeared in numerous films and television shows, including Selena, Real Women Have Curves, Southland, Desperate Housewives, Rob, Family Guy and many more.

Always ready to crack an off-color joke, Lupe was genial and hilarious and also brutally honest about her time in Hollywood.

Mas…Lupe Ontiveros (1942-2012) RIP

Dark Knight Colorado shooting cartoon by Lalo Alcaraz

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Everyone is horrified about another mass shooting, this one in a movie theater in Aurora, CO at a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises. Gun violence in the U.S. is the highest in the world, and we need to do something about it. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the dozen murdered victims and the over 50 wounded. This editorial cartoon can also be seen at my syndicate website, GoComics.com/laloalcaraz

Mexclusive: Romney’s VP short list is now down to three names

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Mitt Romney’s list of potential vice presidential running mates is now down to three finalists, campaign insiders report:

  • Wei Chen, Chengdu, Sichuan, China
  • Sadashiv Gupta, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
  • Ester Ramirez, San Antonio, San Miguel, El Salvador

All three offer various strengths to Romney.

Highly energetic Wei Chen is currently employed at the Foxconn plant in Chengdu, and makes iPads, although he has never seen the complete product.

“I wake up, go to work for 14 hours, then I go back home and go to bed, wake up and do it again,” says Chen, 25. “Being Mitt Romney’s running mate would be a welcome change to my schedule, and perhaps stifle my thoughts of suicide.”

Mas…Mexclusive: Romney’s VP short list is now down to three names

My photos from Comic-Con 2012 San Diego (and some extras)

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Can you spot the drunken alien?

I made my regular trek to San Diego this past weekend for the Comic-Con orgy of cosplay and mass-media promotion and I’ve got the pics to prove it.

I had signings, slideshows, spoke at an inner-city “Counter Con” to promote the comic arts to kids and grabbed super chingon Simpsons creator Matt Groening and begged him draw a sketch at MY signing. (Sorry, Matt.) I also chased nerdos y nerdas in their Latino-inspired costumes and snapped photos of them.

I undertake this trying mission to document parts of the ultra-crowded convention so that you don’t have to go and get constantly elbowed in the knees by ewoks. Or have to hear fundamentalist Christian preachers warning throngs of people dressed as aliens that they are “going to burn in hell.”

Live long and prosper, and enjoy the show!

Peep the photo gallery here:

Mas…My photos from Comic-Con 2012 San Diego (and some extras)

Mainstream media wants to know: WTF are ‘pochos’ and ‘nacos’?

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I have long said it is a Pocho Planet, and maybe you can make the case that it’s a Naco World as well!

We all know what a pocha or a pocho is, and the greatness and prestige that designation implies. But if you aren’t clear, or wondering what the hell naco means, watch this mun2 video featuring Gustavo Arellano, Jenni Rivera, Commander Adama plus many other cool folks. And me.

Thanks to the gente at mun2 for having me!

Naco was the Word of the Day at the Daily Texican in 2004

Transcript: Mexican Mitt Romney’s speech to the NAACP

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Mexican Mitt Romney just spoke to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People convention in Houston, TX and we have the transcript:

—BEGIN TRANSCRIPT—

Thank you, NAACP for the invitation to espeak here, and Bishop Graves for your introduction. Thanks also to President Ben Jealous and your weird last name.

Good mornings, black humans. I am Mexican Mitt Romney. I know it is crazy to speak to you here at the NAACP, but guatever.

I will not be the Presidente for only the East Coast, or the West Coast. I do not believe in your geographic gang rivalries. I want to be the Presidente for all the people, but mainly the rich people. I know you already have Black Reagan as your Presidente, but hear me out.

Tomorrow Vice President Joe Biden will speak before you, please do not let him drink a 40-ouncer before he comes onstage, just sayin’. I won’t let any special interests like black people get in the way, whoops, that’s from my GOP nomination speech.

Mas…Transcript: Mexican Mitt Romney’s speech to the NAACP

Mexclusive: ‘Google Doodle’ honors Frida Kahlo’s 105th birthday!

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(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) In honor of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo’s 105th birthday Friday, Google is featuring a special Google Doodle commemorating her contributions to international art.

Born on July 6, 1907, Kahlo was a surrealist painter and smoker who is best known for her brilliant self-portraits, her tragic life and her stormy relationships with such global figures as Diego Rivera, Leon Trotsky and Josephine Baker.

Kahlo was known to be uncompromising in her art, her politics and her famous monobrow, which launched a feminist revival and Fridamania craze in the 1990s and also extended the co-ed bisexual experimentation stage from one to two semesters.

Mas…Mexclusive: ‘Google Doodle’ honors Frida Kahlo’s 105th birthday!

Anti-terror WIN! Wrinkled AZ governor detained by U.S. Border Patrol

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Quick-thinking U.S. Border Patrol agents, inspired by the skull-melting Arizona heat, have captured an elderly terrorist who was hell-bent on turning the vast wasteland known as Arizona into a vast radioactive wasteland.

Or was it the nation’s oldest living ex-governor, Raul Castro (photo,right), 96, who was detained at a border patrol checkpoint in the brutal Arizona morning heat after agents found he posed a “radiation risk” following his heart pacemaker operation?

Mas…Anti-terror WIN! Wrinkled AZ governor detained by U.S. Border Patrol

Andy Griffith, ‘America’s Sheriff’ dies, AZ Sheriff Arpaio tragically lives

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Beloved acting legend Andy Griffith, known for his starring role as the sheriff on The Andy Griffith Show and later on the long-running series Matlock, died Tuesday and was buried yesterday in North Carolina. Tragically, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio is still clinging to life.

Bill Douters of the Dare County, NC Coroner’s Office confirmed the 86-year-old’s death:

God has taken Andy Griffith, one of our most beloved actors, and residents, but yet He spared the brutal and racist animal Sheriff Joe Arpaio?

The Sheriff of Maricopa County, AZ, Arpaio is 80 years old, and is, sadly, in good health.

Mas…Andy Griffith, ‘America’s Sheriff’ dies, AZ Sheriff Arpaio tragically lives

Pocho Ocho favorite Mexican fireworks

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Used to be you could always celebrate the Fourth of July along the border in the most patriotic way: by detonating illegal Mexican fireworks.

Here are some of our favorite dangerous Mexican fireworks from when men were men, and fireworks were weapons grade bundles o’ fun!

8. Guadalajara Guarheads
7. Tijuana TNT
6. La La La La La Bomba

Mas…Pocho Ocho favorite Mexican fireworks

Mexican Mitt Romney: Latinos need Labambacare, pronto!

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This is a terrible day for illness and disease. Obamacare being upheld by those activist judges at the Supremes Court is making me sicker than the time I tried McDonald’s experimental “Birria Burger.”

Thank God it was Available for a Limited Time Only.

The Republican Party is the only party looking out for disease! Diseases are people, my friends. Especially Jan Brewer.

This ruling upholding Obamacare is wrong for Amercia, and really messes up my campaign for President. However, things are not terminal yet.

I vow on my Day Juan in office as Presidente Romney, to repeal Obamacare (AKA Romneycare) and replace it with Romneydoesntcare.

Romneydoesntcare is modeled on the health system we had before, which was, “rich people pay cash for healthcare, and everyone else can go pound pupusas.”

Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney: Latinos need Labambacare, pronto!

You too can be telepathic like Arizona SB1070-lovin’ cops! (video)

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Rep. Luis Gutierrez, a Democratic congressman from Chicago, steps up to the lectern in the United States House of Representatives and teaches all of America how to be “telepathic” like the Arizona cops and politicians who somehow know – without racial profiling – who is undocumented and who is not.

A must-see video for Justin Bieber fans! In my opinion, the Honorable Representative can have a second career at The Daily Show.

Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’

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The fearless frackers at the dead Breitbart blog (screen capture, right) are all outraged about a so-called “security action” before the President’s speech last week at the NALEO conference:

Judging from Obama’s actions at this years National Association of Latino Elected Officials (NALEO) luncheon, Obama’s newest fear is Latinos with forks. Obama had the Secret Service confiscate all the dinner forks from the participants at the June 22 event held in Orlando, Florida.

Hats off,  Breitbarfers! You discovered a new conspiracy where none existed before, and you didn’t have to use deceptively-edited video to make your fake-ass point.

Mas…Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’

Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling

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Some Arizonans were elated that the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that one key part of SB1070 is constitutional at the same time three other portions were overturned in today’s 5-3 opinion.

The part ruled constitutional requires an officer to make a reasonable attempt to determine the immigration status of a person stopped, detained or arrested if there’s reasonable suspicion that person is in the country illegally. Anything from sombreros to brown skin may allow police to inquire about one’s immigration status.

Reactions from a random sampling of Arizonans were positive and optimistic.

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer’s bony-ass mummy finger was held high in the air upon hearing of the mixed decision: “We Kept ONE! We Kept ONE!” The aged papyrus-skinned governor declared victory: “The Supremes voided much of SB1070 but let us keep my favorite part– profiling those smooth-skinned Mexicans.”

Mas…Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling

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