LALO ALCARAZ
You too can be telepathic like Arizona SB1070-lovin’ cops! (video)
Rep. Luis Gutierrez, a Democratic congressman from Chicago, steps up to the lectern in the United States House of Representatives and teaches all of America how to be “telepathic” like the Arizona cops and politicians who somehow know – without racial profiling – who is undocumented and who is not.
A must-see video for Justin Bieber fans! In my opinion, the Honorable Representative can have a second career at The Daily Show.
Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’
The fearless frackers at the dead Breitbart blog (screen capture, right) are all outraged about a so-called “security action” before the President’s speech last week at the NALEO conference:
Judging from Obama’s actions at this years National Association of Latino Elected Officials (NALEO) luncheon, Obama’s newest fear is Latinos with forks. Obama had the Secret Service confiscate all the dinner forks from the participants at the June 22 event held in Orlando, Florida.
Hats off, Breitbarfers! You discovered a new conspiracy where none existed before, and you didn’t have to use deceptively-edited video to make your fake-ass point.
Mas…Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’
Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling
Some Arizonans were elated that the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that one key part of SB1070 is constitutional at the same time three other portions were overturned in today’s 5-3 opinion.
The part ruled constitutional requires an officer to make a reasonable attempt to determine the immigration status of a person stopped, detained or arrested if there’s reasonable suspicion that person is in the country illegally. Anything from sombreros to brown skin may allow police to inquire about one’s immigration status.
Reactions from a random sampling of Arizonans were positive and optimistic.
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer’s bony-ass mummy finger was held high in the air upon hearing of the mixed decision: “We Kept ONE! We Kept ONE!” The aged papyrus-skinned governor declared victory: “The Supremes voided much of SB1070 but let us keep my favorite part– profiling those smooth-skinned Mexicans.”
Mas…Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling
Driving While Brown? Try ‘Arizona-me’ (SB1070 NSFW video) *UPDATED
UPDATED JUNE 25: Now that the Supreme Court says it’s OK for Arizona’s cops to continue their demands for “papers,” this advice video for folks contemplating a drive through the Hate State of Arizona is even more critical. From Familia del Barrio. Watch and learn!
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(MARCH 24) The U.S. Supreme Court today hears the appeal from proponents of the racist Arizona SB1070 law, which legalized racial profiling in the Hate State. Long before this vile measure was challenged by legal experts, it was spoofed by in the Mexican cartoon series Familia del Barrio.
Their animated episode Arizona-me details how the cartoon family wanted to cope with this foul attack on immigrants. Click the [CC] button for English closed captions. (NSFW language Spanish and English.)
And look below to see how their fans coped.
Mas…Driving While Brown? Try ‘Arizona-me’ (SB1070 NSFW video) *UPDATED
Mitt Romney and Latinos: Something has gone wrong *UPDATED
Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz commented on this story for NBC Latino *UPDATED 6/22
The Mitt Romney presidential campaign, both online and offline, is the gang that can’t shoot straight.
From the Mitt Romney mobile app that spells “America” as “Amercia” to the RNC Latino outreach poll that Obama won, and the ignorant use of a stock photo of Asian kids as Latino kids, the Romney GOP Presidential campaign seems to be run by an Amish IT team.
On June 19, a tipster sent POCHO the url to www.mittromney.com/latinos, and when we typed it in, we got this simply hilarious clip art donkey 404 page. (Get it? the Democratic donkey indicates an error! Priceless.) along with the prescient message that pretty much sums up Mitt Romney’s and the Republicans predicament with Latinos, “SOMETHING SEEMS TO HAVE GONE WRONG.”
Refresh, Mitt, refresh.
……..
Sorry about the autoplay, pochos, and the pinche Flash video. That’s the way NBC rolls.
La Chilindrina announces her retirement — she finally ‘hit puberty’
La Chilindrina has officially retired.
The lovable freckled child star and a main character of El Chavo del Ocho is saying adios to her 40-year entertainment career.
La Chilindrina gave POCHO an exclusive interview after the recent Univision television upfronts and said the main reason for ending her long run as La Chilindrina is that she “finally hit puberty:”
I think I’m ready to go out and see the world, maybe explore some of these weird feelings I’m having.
Confiding that it was getting awkward working with her male co-workers, half of whom she had a crush on — causing her to flub her lines — she confessed she can no longer fit into her costumes since she now needs a real brassiere instead of a training bra.
Mas…La Chilindrina announces her retirement — she finally ‘hit puberty’
Adidas honors Juneteenth by releasing ‘Shackle’ sneakers
Adidas and fashion designer Jeremy Scott honored the nation’s Juneteenth holiday today by releasing the new JS Shackles sneakers, which feature orange plastic cuffs, evoking the très à la mode suffering of black slaves in 19th Century America.
Juneteenth, also known as Freedom Day or Emancipation Day, honors African-American heritage by commemorating the announcement of the abolition of slavery in Texas in 1865.
Adidas’ celebratory post on Facebook went up with the question: “Got a sneaker game so hot you lock your kicks to your ankles?” Many FB users commented that the shoes as “slave wear” and asking why anyone would want to voluntarily wear shackles.
Mas…Adidas honors Juneteenth by releasing ‘Shackle’ sneakers
Republican ‘Latino outreach’ website confused by non-white kids
RNCLatinos.com, the Republican National Committee’s new Latino outreach website, is apparently a laboratory for developing new ways of screwing up Latino outreach.
Last week RNCLatinos hosted a Spanish-language poll asking “Has President Obama disillusioned you?” (the overwhelming response was “No”) and then they used a stock photo of Asian children at the top of their page.
The RNC blamed the error on outsourced web developers — rumored to be in either Bombay or Honduras — who misread the tags on the photo.
Outreach spokestaco Beltina Inchancla offered up this explanation:
It was an honest mistake. They thought the picture was labeled as featuring “Latino” children, but actually read, “Laotian.”
Mas…Republican ‘Latino outreach’ website confused by non-white kids
Here’s the winner of our ‘caption this POCHO photo contest’
The response was huge after we posted a snapshot from the notorious American Apparel California Farmer ad that has been decried and debated, and even spoofed by artist Julio Salgado.
This pic is striking, regardless of what you think of it, making it a prime candidate for CAPTION THIS POCHO PHOTO. The judges had to sort through a mound of over 60 entries, many hilarious, some painful, one an accusation of racism, but we finally picked one. It wasn’t easy, but the POCHO Caption Selection Committee selected the caption by the poster known as
Mas…Here’s the winner of our ‘caption this POCHO photo contest’
Caption this POCHO photo, win a Mexican Mitt Romney poster
In the comments section below, caption this photo with your funniest, cleverest or stupidest possible line. Winner gets a Mexican Mitt Romney poster!
Contest ends at 6PM Pacifico time. Employees of POCHO and their families are not eligible so please stop trying to win already, Linda, we know who you are.
All entries become the property of POCHISMO, INC., a California corporation who is also a person according to the Supreme Court, and this person can get very yealous, so watchate.
Offer not valid in jurisdictions where it is not valid and and also in places where you are not valid. Arizona we’re looking at you!
UPDATE: Here’s our winner!
Letter from the Editor: Respect the pinche artist (*updated)
Yesterday I drew and subsequently shared on Facebook my syndicated editorial cartoon on Dolores Huerta receiving her Presidential Medal of Freedom (above.)
Many of you shared it, as was my request. Thank you! We are all proud of the living legend Dolores Huerta, and the respect she has garnered, especially this week.
However one person, an FB user named Steven downloaded my heartfelt artwork, defaced it and even removed my name and made his own anti-Obama and Dolores Huerta statement. His political opinion is not the issue here. I have held much the same anti-political parties opinion in the past. What has angered me is the disrespect to my work as an artist. Let me explain why, just to be completely clear.
Mas…Letter from the Editor: Respect the pinche artist (*updated)
Mexican Mitt Romney: ¡I AM THE LAST JUAN STANDING!
AJUA! You didn’t think I could do it. You doubted me. You said, “Oh no, Mexican Mitt, you cannot be the Republican nominee! They hate you so! They would never EVER let such a VIRILE, MACHO HOMBRE become the REPUBLICAN NOMINEE!” By virile and macho hombre, you must mean that a Mormon could never win the GOP nomination.
But you were WRONG. Last night, I finally got the required 1,144 delegates for the Republican nomination by winning Texas, the lone state to vote this week. Like I always said, “ALL MY VIEJAS LIVE IN TEJAS!” And I received a full 90% of my viejas’ votes. (I’ll have a word with you later, Margarita.)
Pocho Ocho other things to eat in Miami other than a man’s face
8. Cuban Manwich
7. Tacos de Lengua
6. Arroz con Hobo
Mas…Pocho Ocho other things to eat in Miami other than a man’s face
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FLA) proposes new DREAMY Act
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) In an attempt to capitalize on the political gains made by Pres. Barack Obama’s support for gay marriage, Florida GOP senator and possible presidential candidate Marco Rubio has revamped his unpopular DREAM Act alternative.
The original federal DREAM Act allowed undocumented youth brought here as minors a path to citizenship if they served in the military or attended college. Rubio’s DREAM Act “lite” version offered these youth only a non-immigrant visa and permanent status as second-class citizens.
Now, hoping to suck off gay votes from Obama, Rubio has introduced the DREAMY Act.
Facebook IPO #FAIL cost you money? Try MexicanMitt’s Feisbuk
Facebook stock is foundering and cash-heavy investors are looking for a better place to lose their online money. That’s why MexicanMitt Romney is launching his own social media site – Feisbuk.
POCHO asked the nominee wannabe one question: What does Feisbuk have that Facebook doesn’t? Here’s his reply:
Mas…Facebook IPO #FAIL cost you money? Try MexicanMitt’s Feisbuk
American Census Shocker Part II: Interview with a minority baby
Non-white births now make up a majority of all births in the United States and racist anti-immigrants are pooping mad. The most elder of them, Phyllis Schlafly, an ancient anti-feminist relic, has actually come out of her dusty display case and made a pronouncement through her right-wing conservative group, The Eagle Forum, decrying the surge of unpatriotic minority babies. From their website:
It is not a good thing. The immigrants do not share American values, so it is a good bet that they will not be voting Republican when they start voting in large numbers.
They go on to accuse non-white immigrants and their offspring of having:
…high rates of illiteracy, illegitimacy, and gang crime, and they will vote Democrat when the Democrats promise them more food stamps.
To find out if the threat entering this country from non-white birth canals is indeed dangerous, I interviewed a minority baby myself:
Mas…American Census Shocker Part II: Interview with a minority baby
Mitt Romney: I’m proud to announce my new bank, JP Mormon
Barack Hussein Obama’s biggest donors and best crony capitalist friends at JP Morgan Chase recently lost over two billion dollars in risky trades.
Instead of wailing about this so-called “Wall Street reform” nonsense, I have decided to open my own bank and mega Wall Street trading firm: JP Mormon.
At JP Mormon, we promise to keep your money away from the risky trades of Wall Street and in safe, secure island strongholds.
We will also store your hard-earned trust fund payments in secret European locations, places where Michele Bachman once held dual citizenship.
Mas…Mitt Romney: I’m proud to announce my new bank, JP Mormon
Mexican Mitt Romney: Obama is spiking the gay football
AJUA!! I am Mexican Mitt Romney, and I am here to clear the record on the GAY MARRIAGE.
Contrary to reports by ABC News and Perez Hilton about Barack Obama being the first president to approve of same-sex marriage, I invented it, and now Barack Obama is hogging all the credit! If you ask me, Obama is spiking the gay football! That is wrong! Everyone knows gays play tennis and hacky sack.
Now the gays are all running around and shrieking like the end of an episode of Ru Paul’s Drag Race just because the PINCHE North Carolina DOUBLE NEGATIVE GAY MARRIAGE Proposition that won this week. HIJOLE! Such drama queens!
In North Carolina it just means that Jethro cannot marry Jethro, but he can marry HIS COUSIN ELLIE MAE! Ajua! That’s what I call FREEDOM!
I was an eyewitness/participant at the L.A. riots/uprising/desmadre
This Saturday, after driving and blasting some Public Enemy and NWA in my decidedly non-gangster hoopty (a new, very gas-friendly tiny vehicle) I went home feeling amped up about the commemoration of the twentieth anniversary of the L.A. Riots.
I checked the newspapers, then went online and was reading an excellent piece by Pocho homie, DJ and writer Davey D, about the massive civil unrest sparked by the trial of the L.A.P.D. cops who beat unarmed Rodney King.
On Apr. 29, 1992, my girlfriend and I were in shock, like much of L.A., that the cops were acquitted of beating Rodney King. Though we were accustomed to seeing the constant police brutality used against minorities by outfits like the L.A.P.D., everyone felt that there was no way they were going to get away this time. It was on.
Mas…I was an eyewitness/participant at the L.A. riots/uprising/desmadre
Mitt Romney: Holographic Tupac is your best choice for VP!
That’s why GOP political insiders are urging the superwealthy robotic candidate to pick Holographic Tupac as his vice presidential running mate.
Holographic Tupac, they note, is way more lifelike than the GOP presidential candidate, although Mitt’s musical skills are nothing to scoff at.
“Tupac could be Mitt’s Joe Biden,” said one Romney campaign insider. “He has the common touch Mitt lacks and he’s big with the bitches. We think he might be the droid we are looking for.”
Dead or not, rapper Tupac Shakur (1971-1996) killed ’em in a short set at Coachella (video below.)
Mas…Mitt Romney: Holographic Tupac is your best choice for VP!
My name is Lady Justice and I endorse this message
Lady Justice wears a Hoodie for Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman, the killer of the 17-year-old African-American teenager in Sanford, FLA, has finally been arrested and arraigned — this only after national outrage and agitation by Americans of all races. We hope that Justice is truly blind, and also that she wears a hoodie.
Un chico makes his own arcade: Caine’s Arcade
This has got to be the most wondrous film about a small Latino businessman ever made. Caine Monroy, a nine-year-old from East L.A., built his own DIY arcade out of cardboard boxes from his dad’s car parts store. He charges a dollar for two plays, but you really ought to get the Superpass, which is a good deal. He has designed security features with 99 Cent Store calculators, and an ingenious ticket delivery system that you have to see to believe. The excellent and funny short film is by Nirvan Mullick, who was Caine’s first and only customer — for a little bit, anyhow.
Watch the movie and warm your corazon!
Help Caine’s Scholarship Fund:
Caine’s Arcade online:
Lalo Alcaraz: Selected cartoons, posters, art and illustrations
Here are some of my recent favorite cartoons, posters, illustrations and propaganda.
I hope they’re your favorites, too!
Romney campaign tries to shake off Etch A Sketch remark
The Romney campaign is one built on strong policy principles, unless, of course, they need to change them to pander to primary voters.
“Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes,” Romney campaign advisor Eric Fehrnstrom said Wednesday on CNN. “It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and restart all over again.”
Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual
(PNS reporting from POCHO RICO) Former senator and current GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum caused a furor on this island yesterday when he said English would have to be the “main language” for the Puerto Rican Commonwealth to ever become a state.
To be fair, when Santorum told a campaign rally crowd here in San Juan that Puerto Ricans should make English the official language, he didn’t think they could understand English at all.
Mas…Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual
CHONY 2012: Mexican Mitt’s new awareness campaign
Leading GOP presidential contender Mexican Mitt Romney has started a brand new awareness campaign that is sweeping the social media world: CHONY 2012.
Mexican Mitt is trying to raise awareness about the whereabouts of his favorite pair of Magical Underpants, which he has named “Chony.”
“Please help me find my favorite CHONYs,” said the wealthy Mexi-Mormon on his popular Twitter feed last night.
Their absence from his campaign bus is causing Mexican Mitt much anguish. In various mournful Tweets, he also urged readers to contribute money to his CHONY 2012 campaign, which has since gone viral.
KPCC radio billboard ‘Occupied’ by KPFK radio listener
Much L.A. radio hay was made over the placing of a KPCC 89.3 FM billboard advertising its “Ideas not ideology” slogan practically on top my radio station’s studios at KPFK 90.7 FM, where I host the Pocho Hour of Power every Friday at 4 PM.
As I walked in today, I was alerted that someone had replaced the KPCC billboard with our own KPFK billboard. Didn’t know we had such a substantial advertising budget.
Nice job! (above photo by KPFK’s Ernesto Arce) Here’s the before picture:
Mexican Mitt has eye on enchilada for Super Taco Tuesday
With more than a dozen states and 437 delegates in play, Super Tuesday is the biggest contest of the GOP primaries since Newt Gingrich challenged Mexican Mitt Romney to a wife-off.
Mexican Mitt Romney vows to sweep today’s Super Taco Tuesday Republican presidential contest. “I will win not only the whole enchilada, but the additional taco, the rice and beans, plus the salad,” he told a rally. “And the corn or flour tortillas.”
“I am going to herd all the voters to vote for me like a herd of my chivos on my ranch. In other words, I will make sure you are herd. Herded. Whatevers! Ajua!”
Mas…Mexican Mitt has eye on enchilada for Super Taco Tuesday
Rush Limbaugh’s Pocho Ocho excuses for being a douchebag
Bloated talk show host and leader of the Republican party Rush Limbaugh has been abusing his broadcast microphone by viciously attacking, well, everyone, but most recently 30-year-old law student Sandra Fluke, calling her a “slut” and a “prostitute.”
He has since issued a weak apology, but his show continues to bleed sponsors and radio stations.
Here are his Pocho Ocho excuses for being a douchebag:
8. Skanks don’t get satire
7. Dennis Miller is my new staff writer
6. I jumped the whale
Mas…Rush Limbaugh’s Pocho Ocho excuses for being a douchebag