Latino LA

Attention: It’s time to get real about Latino movie projects

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attentionhollywoodOkay, time for a reality check.

Despicable Me 2 made $59.5 million in its first two days of release. Do any of you seriously believe that Universal gives a flying fuck if Latinos are upset over the negative stereotyping of a Latino character ?

As my good friend Bob Eisele likes to say, “Here’s the situation…” THEY DON’T CARE. Please allow me to repeat that… THEY DON’T CARE.

We Latinos can yell, scream, jump up and down, stand on our heads, do somersaults and they still won’t care. The movie is on track to make hundreds of millions of dollars for Universal.

Year before last, Ron Meyer, the head of Universal Studios, spoke at a NALIP luncheon and told us to our faces that Universal doesn’t make Latino-themed or Latino-starred movies because Latinos don’t go to see them. And you know what? He’s right. Latinos are almost 40% of the all important opening day box office. Unfortunately, Latinos go to see Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Transformers, Star Trek, Star Wars, Iron Man, Batman, Spiderman, anything but Latino-themed movies. What’s the solution?

Mas…Attention: It’s time to get real about Latino movie projects

Mi corazón esta con mi gente, my heart is with my people

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My heart is with my people as I await my procedure.

I await my procedure, Mi Gente. I await it this overcast Sunday morning, surrounded by the bells of the Churches, by my Angels, and the people whom I love. Yeah, I ended up in the hospital the other night. Which one….does not matter. I know people here, Mi Gente is here, and I make friends kinda easy, too.

I just got the word about a lady, who comes into the area, every Saturday, to sell her homemade tamalitos. I know where she will be next Saturday, she and her esposo. And I plan to be there, too.

I am going to get my tamalito de rajas, my fave. Maybe I’ll carry the travel coffee deal my sister gave us. Too cool for school. And I’ll bring my “whatta chair” and hang out in the area, under the beautiful trees, and see mis amigos e amigas.

Mas…Mi corazón esta con mi gente, my heart is with my people

Why is ‘Il Santo Papa’ making up his own rules? I am really angry

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OK, mi gente, now I am really, really angry. Since I have last written, I have thought long and hard about the present state of the Catholic Church.

It has occurred to me that the “speaking points” of Ash Wednesday, apply specifically to the Catholic Church and the immediate legal and public relations problems that beset it now. If you recall, the deacon spoke of things we might “give up” for Lent. Things such as:

Mas…Why is ‘Il Santo Papa’ making up his own rules? I am really angry

Adrian Tafoya: My life as an alien (In space, la raza assimilates you)

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There are certain situations in Hollywood where as an actor you have to have no shame.

This was one of those times as I stood inside a large curtained-off fitting room wearing only a flesh-colored dance belt, the equivalent of man panties. Well, it is true that actors are a strangely alien tribe which are most unique only in Hollywood. I mean, where else would a Latino wear such a ridiculous contraption?

OK, back to my man panties… Key costumer Kim Thompson enters with a box of silver and black shaded and molded latex pieces twisted into sinewy shapes and a box of safety pins. She hands me a stretchy nylon body suit and says, “Put this on,” not asking, knowing full well that I would welcome a cover-up of my nakedness.

Mas…Adrian Tafoya: My life as an alien (In space, la raza assimilates you)

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