POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews, Sara Inés Calderón, shares everything you need to know about Sansgiven, the Mexican Thanksgiving. She’s @SaraChicaD on the Twitter.
Sara Inés Calderón
Orale! All your Cinco de Mayo memes in one click-bait listicle! (toons)
We scraped the dark corners of the Internets to bring you these classic Cinco de Mayo graphic memes, and boy do we need a shower!
Please like and share!
Willy Wonka:
Matrix Morpheus:
Mas…Orale! All your Cinco de Mayo memes in one click-bait listicle! (toons)
POCHO’s @SaraChicaD wishes you a Happy Mexican Sansgiven (video)
POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews, Sara Inés Calderón, shares everything you need to know about Sansgiven, the Mexican Thanksgiving. She’s @SaraChicaD on the Twitter.
@SaraChicaD gets her Cinco de Mayo ¡Grito! on (videos)
It’s time again for Cinco de Mayo, the holiday whose popularity no one really understands, except for the beer companies.
But now you can celebrate by getting your Grito on with the ¡Grito! app. Get it here.
What is the ¡Grito! app? It’s an app a native Texan and lover of her Mexican heritage Kathryn Gonzales made in order to celebrate — not mock — the culture of Gritos.
The app lets you play gritos at appropriate times, teaches about the history of gritos, and even lets you create your own. Here’s one I made for everyday usage:
Pocho Nerd Pride Alert: The Maya counting system is awesome (toon)
The Maya, as we all know from Stand and Deliver, were bad ass – one of few ancient civilizations to create the concept of zero.
Since I am an awesome Latina nerd myself, I must share this awesome official Chilean government education ministry photograph of an actual ancient awesome Maya dude counting some stuff out in front of a chart of the awesome Maya counting system.
Mas…Pocho Nerd Pride Alert: The Maya counting system is awesome (toon)
How to rock some bomb Selena nail art (@SaraChicaD video)
You know what’s cool? Selena. You know what’s even cooler? Selena stuff, like nails, and thanks to ChaCha Covers it’s all possible.
Three weeks ago, I headed down to Corpus Christi for the Selena festival and made this video to share the Selena love.
Mas…How to rock some bomb Selena nail art (@SaraChicaD video)
DREAMers: Here’s how to apply for DACA [POCHO Video PSA]
This video tries maybe too hard to be cool, but it’s packed with information for college students on how to apply for DACA. Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals is President Obama’s program — established by Executive Order — that can keep you from getting deported and help you get a driver’s license, work authorization, and in-state tuition rates.
Enough with the sassy sexy Latina stereotype! (video)
It’s not that Latinas don’t love hearing how their individual characteristics pale in comparison to stereotypes thrown around on talk radio…well, actually, they don’t love it. At all.
NOLA student Sophia Garcia says the stereotypes that bother her most are the ones she hears when she share her “opinions” — that she’s being overly “spicy” and “ghetto.” Who would be bothered by that? Probably anyone.
What you think?
PREVIOUSLY ON STEREOTYPES:
All your Cinco de Mayo memes in one click-bait listicle! (toons)
We scraped the Internets to bring you the very best Cinco de Mayo graphic memes.
Please like and share!
Willy Wonka:
Matrix Morpheus:
Mas…All your Cinco de Mayo memes in one click-bait listicle! (toons)
Top five appearances by La Virgen de Guadalupe
You know you’ve heard the story before. A grandmother in a faraway place has found La Virgen on her tortilla or her window or her ceiling or wherever it is that she found her.
Don’t pretend like you haven’t looked for things shaped like La Virgen before! It’s all a part of our culture, but because it’s also a recurring and hilarious part, we wanted to round up the list for you.
- A Tortilla – This is one of the most common ones, close second to Jesus on a piece of toast.
- A Tree – I wrote about this one when I was a reporter on the border, but I’m not the only one.
MR. POCHO goes to Washington, DC (photos)
I accompanied MR. POCHO on a trip to Washington, D.C. He said if we took photos and put them online then the trip would be deductible as a business expense. OK, then.
After we visited the White House, we went to look at where our money went — over at the Department of the Treasury:
Cholafied Virgen: The barbed wire is a nice touch (photo)
Virgen de #Guadalupe #mural #streetart in #Highland Park. I think the barbed wire is an especially nice touch. #Latinas #latism
Los Master Plus, Mexican hipster music duo, loves pochos
If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like for a Mexican hipster to remake some of your favorite English-language songs in an alternative cumbia style while wearing hipster mustaches and silver sneakers, you need look no further than Los Master Plus.
I first heard of the Guadalajara duo with their remake of King of Leons’ song, Sex on Fire, Sexo en Fuego, a homemade and tongue-in-cheek music video that makes fun of both hip hop and rock music videos in one fell swoop, last year.
Last week I hung out with El Comanche and Larry Mon at The Conga Room in Downtown Los Angeles.
Mas…Los Master Plus, Mexican hipster music duo, loves pochos
How many generations until Latinos become ‘Americans’?
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I consider myself Latina, close to my family’s Mexican culture; I’m bilingual and I’m happy with that identity. But, more often than not, it seems like everyone else is trying to corral me into some other identity, telling me that mine is not sufficient.
The neighborhood where I live (photos, above) is a perfect example.
It’s split in two: one part of it is gentrifying rapidly, and the other is filled with Mexican and many immigrant families. I where it’s more Mexican, which makes me — in all my professional hipster-ness — stand out sometimes, but people still speak to me in Spanish and often I just become part of the scenery. But then there are other times.
Immigration Reform 2013: Where exactly is the ‘reform’ part? (video)
The long-anticipated “comprehensive immigration reform bill” is set to be introduced to the public by a bi-partisan group of legislators today.
What exactly is the “Border Security, Economic Opportunity, and Immigration Modernization Act of 2013?”
The compromise proposal won’t cover all the people here without legal status, for one thing, nor will it create a lasting change — reform — of the immigration system.
What it will do, though, is line the pockets of security contractors via $3 billion dollars for “border security.”
Mas…Immigration Reform 2013: Where exactly is the ‘reform’ part? (video)
Pocha Podcast #2: Sexism, feminism, football and IT (NSFW audio)
Pochas Elise Roedenbeck and me, Sara Inés Calderón, have a grand old time talking about sexism and feminism. Isn’t it interesting that, even though the U.S. had a “feminist movement,” we have never elected a woman president, and the wage gap between men and women in Latin America is smaller than it is here?
And other sexist stuff: What about football, how sexist is that, ey? And IT? Being a woman in the U.S. may seem like fun and games, given that whole reproductive rights discussion, but there are some downsides.
Mas…Pocha Podcast #2: Sexism, feminism, football and IT (NSFW audio)
A Latina’s Guide: How to talk to a racist
As unfortunate a reality as it may be, one way or another in our country, you’re going to have to deal with someone who is racist, or at least holds a little bit of prejudice.
What’s even more unfortunate is that you’re most likely to come across someone who doesn’t necessarily know that they are prejudiced, and thus, pointing out this behavior or dealing with it may be a bit more difficult for you.
Now, say that you are a Latina and so have to deal with society’s sexist — as well as racist — attitudes and all of a sudden you find yourself in a bit of a bind. How does one fight The Man, preconceived notions of femininity (from both American and Latino cultures), civility standards, sexism and racism all at once?
I have a few tips that I thought might be useful, so here we go:
1. Don’t blow up
How to eshake hands Chicano style (CA y TX versions) [video]
In this video for POCHO U’s Gabacho Outreach Program (POCHO U, GOP!) I demonstrate the Chicano Handshake including a California version, a Texas version and a version with extra love. Why can’t we be friends?
Pocho Ocho new merit badges for Latina Girl Scouts
Latina girls are the key to growth for the Girl Scouts, and the organization needs to shift culturally to accommodate these new scouts.
How do you bring in a new crop of Latina scouts? How about some new Merit Badges?
8. Touting Trenzas.
It may be India María style or Frida Kahlo style, but any good Latina needs to know how to work the hair art. Whether it be one braid or two, a French braid or any other variety.
7. Masa Mashing.
Scouts need to know how to mash masa around between their hands in a variety of ways. Masa mashing can be the cultural equivalent of chopping, the manner in which masa is mashed alluding to unspoken or subtle feelings, including: anger, happiness, interest, nervousness, etc.
My Bottom Line: ‘Casa De Mi Padre’ is (1) Funny and (2) Not racist
Over the weekend I went with two guys to see Will Ferrell’s latest film, Casa De Mi Padre. The film stars several Mexican actors and was produced by a Latino production house.
If you want the bottom line, here it is: I went into the movie with low expectations, but was surprised that it was funny, not racist, and well done.
In the film, Ferrell speaks entirely in Spanish, and I have to give him props for doing so well and not stooping to the level of “look at the funny white guy who can’t speak Spanish” jokes. As a matter fact, the movie was surprisingly devoid of the kinds of jokes where gringos make fun of Mexicans via brownfacing, or doing bad imitations of Mexicans.
Mas…My Bottom Line: ‘Casa De Mi Padre’ is (1) Funny and (2) Not racist
Pocho Ocho ways Latinas emasculate Latinos
It can be hard to be a Latina, but it can be even harder to be in love with one. I will admit that I occasionally emasculate my Latino friends, love interests and acquaintances.
Given that Latinos and Latinas alike often contend with issues of machismo, emasculation can sometimes happen by accident. Then again, for the same reasons, it can also happen on purpose. Whatever the case, here’s a list of eight occasions to watch out for:
8. Talking to his mother or female relatives about him.
Although this is a female ritual, it never ceases to cause discomfort.
7. Calling him by Spanish pet names in front of his friends.
He may be your “pedacito de bon bon” when you two are alone, but when you call him these things in front of his friends, somehow it makes him less of a man.
We’ve got your Pocho Ocho cures for la cruda right here
We all know it’s coming. It’s only Thursday, but THE WEEKEND is right ahead of us — a sign post up ahead that spells PARTY. And somebody is gonna get her drink on.
If that means you, perhaps we can help with the Pocho Ocho cures for your hangover (la cruda.)
8. Menudo. In my social circles, menudo is the go–to method for scaring away that nasty cruda. The power of the Aztec gods? Meat? Corn? Who knows why, but word has it that it works.
7. More alcohol! Hair of the dog, as it were. This method is perhaps one of the oldest cures for cruda. Does it work?
Pocho Ocho props you need to be a proper Latino
You know, sometimes it’s hard being Latino. You wake up, go about your day, do your business, and then people ask you where your donkey is, or whether your family is from Mexico.
And, you know, it may be that your family has been in the U.S. longer than theirs, or that no one in your family has a moustache, but why burst peoples’ bubbles with inconvenient truths like that?
So here’s a list of the Pocho Ocho indispensable Latino props — for those days that you forget you’re supposed to be a stereotype!
8. Sombrero — Don’t forget your hat, amigo!
7. Moustache — You know it does go with the sombrero, as does the poncho and/or donkey. Wouldn’t want you to leave home without it!
Pocho Ocho stereotypes of the Latino professional
8. You’re always late.
7. You laugh or talk too loudly.
6. You have a short temper.
5. You’re spicy/overly sexual.
Pocho Ocho words that should be in the dictionary
Sometimes finding the right word can be tricky, so you need to look them up. That’s why these eight pocho words need to go into the English dictionary:
8. Irregardless – That this word does not officially exist has never stopped anyone (including me) from using it. Why use regardless or irrespective when this one sounds so much better? If Sarah Palin can do it…
7. Expecially – Used to emphasize things that don’t really need emphasizing, such as “I love chocolate, expecially when it’s sweet.”
6. Libary – Often confused with library. No one really needs the second R and people will think you’re conceited if you use it. It’s still the same definition, just different a word.
Pocho Ocho 90s things I wish were back that aren’t Pete Wilson
It looks like the 1990s are back now that former Gov. Pete Wilson (R-CA) is in the political spotlight as the new chairman of Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign.
I liked the 90s, but why doesn’t good stuff come back? You know, stuff like crushed velvet and bell sleeves, Beverly Hills 90210 fashion and NAFTA. Here are the top eight things they should bring back!
8. The promise of flying cars, where are the flying cars?!
7. TV shows filled with healthy white kids with nice teeth, a la, 90210 and Saved by the Bell.
6. Headbands, butterfly patterns, crushed velvet and choker (necklaces) — fashion!
Mas…Pocho Ocho 90s things I wish were back that aren’t Pete Wilson
Meet Daniel D. Portado, the original ‘self-deportationist’
(PNS reporting from CYBERESPACE) Although Mitt Romney has lately been in the news for promoting self-deportation, there is someone who beat him to the concept back in the 1990s — Daniel D. Portado. The self-proclaimed “original self-deportationist” encouraged others to follow his example and self-deport during California’s brush with anti-immigration legislation in the 1990s.
In this current round of self-deportation, groups have sprung up to actually promote self-deportation, and Romney’s rhetoric has been taken seriously in some politically conservative circles. We interviewed Daniel D. Portado about self-deportation and here’s what he said.
PNS: Rumor has it that you are the original self deportation asked, is that true?
Daniel D. Portado: Yes. I clearly invented self-deportation in 1994 during the wonderful Proposition 187 era in California. I founded the group “Hispanics For Wilson”, a GOP support group of Governor Pete Wilson. Wilson correctly wanted to chase all the illegals out of California after they were done mowing our lawns, but before payday.
Mas…Meet Daniel D. Portado, the original ‘self-deportationist’
Girls – no matter how you dress, guys will scope you out
Have you ever noticed, ladies, that no matter how you dress or how you act, men are going to check you out?
Bosses, co-workers, friends, stranger, acquaintances or just plain cochinos, they are going to scope you out as much or as little as your clothing allows? Ugh.
I grew up in the Catholic/Mexican tradition that kind of espoused the idea that, if you’re an object of sexual desire, it’s shameful and it’s your fault and you should feel guilty because you’re sinful. So, guess what started happening when I began to “develop” into a woman?
Mas…Girls – no matter how you dress, guys will scope you out
Am I a racist because I want to date Latino guys?
During my seemingly eternal quest for love, I’ve been accused more than once of being “racist” for mostly dating Latinos.
Part of this is totally my fault and the result of my whining and chiflazón. There’s a misunderstanding about what motivates me and other people like me, who are interested primarily in dating other Latinos.
First and foremost, let me say that I have dated mostly pochos like me, but I’ve also dated Cubans, white men, and Asian men, finally coming to the conclusion that all men on this planet are idiots when they are in their 20s. Some of my complaints, which other Latinas share, include: They want to get married too soon, or they’re divorced with kids young, they’re too short, as you become more educated there are less Latinos around you, they’re scared of educated/professional women. The list goes on.
SRSLY? Lame-ass pick-up lines of would-be Latino lovers
The first time a man made a sexual advance to me – some random guy on the other side of the street – I was 13. Yes, although I hadn’t even started shaving my legs, I was already trying to figure out how to deal with sexual weirdos. Such tender memories.
If I recall correctly, his exact words, or sounds, were something like “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!”
You might be a Latino hipster if…
First off, you may be asking yourself, “What is a hipster?”
Hipsters are the contemporary derivative of beatniks and manifest particular philosophies, fashion and food choices, professional and geographic preferences and, inevitably, are the butt of many jokes.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the pizza? Because he ate it before it was cool.