It’s Not News to Us
East of Los Angeles via Interstate 10 lies the Coachella Valley, home of the desert oasis of Palm Springs, a famed music festival and acres of stately date palms.
On the wrong side of tracks, in the town of Coachella, there’s a group of Chicano artists who call themselves The Date Farmers. They make art out of love for themselves and their neighbors. This is their story. (Apologies to iOS users. KCET insists on using Flash.)
Pepito wraps up his discussion of gentrification, but not before an irate store owner decides to STAND HIS GROUND…
Chuy’s car might look a whole lot better with new rims, but is that really the way to improve one’s life, or to score with the ladies? Smiley offers an alternative approach to the existential question. (NSFW language.)
Dear Abuelita,
I have still my cuero (foreskin) and I was wondering if I get circumcised will I feel better when I am inside a choncho or will I be wasting my ficha.
Signed, Extra Carne
Dear Extra Carne Carnal,
Some people dislike extra carnita on their flauta but a little foreskin can be fun during foreplay. I can’t tell you how many times I played peek-a-boo with uncut pee-pees. Now you see it – now you don’t. Now you see it – oh, the laughs we had.
Mas…Dear Abuelita: Foreskin and seven years ago, I’ve got man boobs
Pepito sits by Juan’s hospital bed and tries to pick up his discussion of “gentrification” where he left off.
There’s terrible trouble in the hood when a shiny new taco cart opens up just across the way from the funky old place. What to do? Taco! Taco! Taco! was the 2009 winner of the HBO/New York International Latino Film Festival Short Film Competition. From John Estrada.
After that huge ¡POW! Pepito has some catching up to do — like WTF happened just now? Was the camera rolling? Where exactly is Juan?
| Just tuned in? Click on a pic for a chapter | |||
| Introduction | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 |
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Pepito continues his discussion of the forces of oppression and we’ve got the full episode below.
Coming in late?
Start with Numero Uno, and then try the exciting Number Two cartoon combo with rice and beans!
Pepito continues his passionate denunciation of the pendejos that are keeping La Raza down, until…
The whole page is below.
Hey! It’s a Cinco de Mayo Sabado Pochonte video shoutout to the heavy metal head banger pochos in New York City — no banda for you! Welcome to Metal Kingdom is a short documentary on an underground Pan-Latino heavy metal club in Queens, NY. Filmed, directed and produced by Denise R. Gaberman. (NSFW language, etc.)
Ramiro Gomez is an installation artist who makes the invisible visible by inserting cardboard versions of usually-overlooked Mexican laborers into actual settings. Last night he emailed:
Fresh piece I just installed this afternoon on the westbound corner of Mountain Drive and Sunset Boulevard in Beverly Hills. If you’re driving around that part of town, stop by and check it out before it’s inevitably taken down.
Like Gomez wanted, POCHO stopped by the intersection the morning of Cinco de Mayo and shot this video. It reminded us of a Folgers Crystals instant coffee commercial: “We’ve secretly replaced your ordinarily-invisible immigrant gardener with a cardboard replica. Let’s see if anyone notices!” And we have photos from Gomez, below.
Mas…Cinco de Mayo installation art in Beverly Hills (video and photos)
QUESTION: How can you tell when Cinco de Mayo has turned into a totally American holiday? ANSWER: When gabachos from Tennessee start making rap videos about it in broken Spanglish! Dear Hootie (AKA Hoochie) and the Brofish: Orale!
For your Only in Los Angeles moment, check out a local news video about Cinco de Mayo at MexiKosher, a kosher Mexican restaurant in the heavily-Jewish Pico-Robertson neighborhood:
Mas…Cinco de Mayo is an American holiday — and we’ve got videos!
Pepito has a long list of people and companies and forces that have abused the Latino community for years.
And he names names!
There’s former California Gov. Pete Wilson, for example, the entire Republican party, the Hate State of Arizona, Lou Dobbs, beer companies and …
RIP Adam Yauch AKA MCA. May the Fourth be with you in your next life. Cancer got the better of you but you always fought for your Right to Party!
You want the half-hour extended version NSFW video? We got it right here!
Mas…La Chata’s Music Box: Rest in Power Beastie Boy Adam Yauch AKA MCA
The Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.
Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.
Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.
But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.
Mas…Cartel street battle in Puebla, MX ends in rout of French gang invaders
8. Gordo/a – This word (it means “overweight”) seems like an insult, but it’s just another way to say, “Hey you!” You don’t have to be fat to get this nickname.
7. Flaco/a – And you don’t actually have to be skinny to get this nickname. Of course, you could be relatively skinny compared to everyone else in the room, but it’s just a way to speed things along.
6. Viejo/a – This word (“old”) could be used to refer to one’s significant other, parent, or friend. Whether or not one is actually old depends on those involved in the conversation.
Mas…Pocho Ocho ironic nicknames that aren’t as insulting as they seem
Coming from the East Coast and all, the National Public Radio Alt.Latino peeps needed to come here to get the real California deal on Cinco de Mayo. They called on two local treasures: Gustavo Arellano, editor of OCWeekly.com, and East Los rockers La Santa Cecilia:
This week we bring ourselves to that most bicultural of holidays — Cinco de Mayo. As we discuss in the show, there is a question about whether or not this is just another opportunity for happy hour specials or store-wide sales: “Get your new bed during our Mexican Mattresstravaganza!!!”
We invited writer Gustavo Arellano to help us shed some light on the issue. He has tackled this theme before in his syndicated column Ask A Mexican.
Here on the East Coast, the Cinco de Mayo experience is different from what it is in California. It feels much less connected to themes of cultural pride and more like an excuse to drink margaritas.
Mas…NPR Cinco de Mayo show taps Gustavo Arellano, La Santa Cecilia
Every person has a double. Spanish hiphop MC Elphomega encounters his “twin” in Doppelganger. His shadow of a shadow invokes varsity cheerleaders, cholo gang jackets, Kim Novak and meat, lots of meat, just like in all the other Kim Novak cheerleader meat and cholo videos. Also: Good beat and easy to dance to.
Dear Abuelita,
I wear a 34C bra. My boyfriend is always scoping out girls with bigger boobs. Should I get implants?
Titi Caca
Dear Titi Caca,
Here’s what you need to do: Tell your boyfriend to look in the mirror the next time he wants to see a big boob then dump the pendejo. As for you, make yourself an appointment for a self-esteem implant ASAP. That’s all I have to say. I don’t have time to figure out the root of your insecurities. There are more important things to focus on than your pea-sized mosquito bites.
Do you have any idea how much trouble big chi-chis are? Let me tell you, they can be a real pain in the ass! I mean it, I once flung mine over my shoulders so hard the damned things left bruises on my nalgas.
Love, Your Abuelita
Mas…Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling
The Vatos’ discussion of the finer points of football jersey fashion lead them to consider Edgar Allan Poe, The Raven and the stereotypes implicit in identification with the Raiders’ Nation. Nevermore, ese!
(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Selena’s old band is hitting the road this summer with a holographic version of the murdered superstar and Jennifer Lopez wants the part.
JLo played Selena Quintanilla-Pérez in a 1997 biopic about the singer.
“We tried to tell her a hologram was not an actual person and that playing a hologram was not the same thing as being in a movie, but she didn’t seem to understand,” band manager Beto Salinas told PNS.
Lopez called band members directly and begged for the role.
Up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane it’s — Marcianos! Mexican investigators Jaime Maussan and Santiago Yturria Garza share exceptional videos of unexplained aerial phenomena that turned them from skeptics into believers.
Watch news footage as one Mexican mayor spots the “fleet” of luminous white OVNIs and says, “The Martians have arrived!” TV host Maussan calls for more citizen and media participation in compiling OVNI reports in this 90-minute presentation from 2006.
“The Martians Have Arrived” — Los Marcianos Llegaron Ya — was also a pop music hit in Mexico in 2005 by children’s music star Tatiana. Which came first — the sightings or the song? We have the video below.
Mas…Luminous white UFOs turn Mexican skeptics into believers (videos)
Liberals and conservatives agree — immigrants cause global warning and poison the political atmosphere!
What if the Insane Clown Posse moved to French Canadia and made a Spanglish hip-hop video in an insane asylum? Mira! This crazy video by The O.C. comes from the Montreal Hip-Hop en Español scene. The O.C.is a duo made up of MCs Chele and One from Heavy Soundz and featuring many members of the Del Mondongo crew. Del Mondongo is a label/collective formed by a circle of Latino MCs: Boogat, Alquimia Verbal and Heavy Soundz – two all-star hip-hop crews that splinter into different side and solo projects. Loco, eh? (Crazy NSFW language.)
Step right up for ethnic stereotype theater!
| We had to share this. Straight-ahead Latin electro-bop, a jazz tune with title you have to love: From New Orleans, The Iguanas come out swinging with Pocho. |
Gloria Jones recorded Tainted Love first in 1965. There there was Soft Cell in 1981. Marilyn Manson covered the tune in 2001. And now comes this brand-new version from locals La Santa Cecilia,featuring the soulful vocals of La Marisoul, who sings like a boss.
San Diego students used dominos to create a huge Cesar Chavez mural and installed it over the weekend in Chicano Park. NBC San Diego’s Gitzel Puente reports:
It took 5,500 domino pieces, 40 students and six weeks to create this piece of art. Students and staff from O’Farrell Community School started this mural using blueprints, and then they glued them to vinyl tiles [and]…dedicated this 10-foot mural to farm labor leader Cesar Chavez.
“About two months ago, we decided to do something for the community and what better thing to do than dedicate this to Cesar Chavez. We started telling the kids about it, letting them know what he did, his legacy and how he brought people together for a good cause,” says O’Farell’s Spanish instructor Jose Islas.
Puente uploaded a nice photo of the portrait to her Twitter account. We have it below:
Mas…Students create gigantic portrait of Cesar Chavez from 5500 dominos
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50 Minutos: Toothless tia with a headscarf flees a smoking village on a donkey cart and a softly-lit cute kid with a disability plays the chit out of a cello. Eduardo Burro offers a special tribute to Miguel Xoalis. |
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Tosho Punto O: Danilo Tosh provides commentary on viral videos, society and celebrities from his Abuela’s basement. Fallout from the Web’s Best Vomit Videos semifinals messes up Danilo’s guyabera. | |
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Guanderful World of Disney: Things get pretty hairy for Herbie the Love Bug when he takes a trip to Lima, Peru. Can he overcome his need to obey traffic signals? Probably, but not before realizing the traffic lanes are “suggestion only.” | |
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Lonche Libre: The gourmet food loncheros must sell their high-end comida to skeptics in the hood, but not before they get sparkle paint jobs, lowered suspensions and custom-painted flames with a $2000 budget and a 24-hour deadline. |
Stairway to Heaven live by the Mexican acoustic/flamenco guitar duo Rodrigo y Gabriela. Nine million YouTubers can’t be wrong!
Several years ago, I was driving through the backwoods of central Florida trying to find the home of a distant cousin. Desperately lost, I called my mother, but my abuela answered the phone.
I asked her, “Hey, do you know Annita’s phone number? I’m trying to find her house.”
My grandmother’s response: “Go home. A woman shouldn’t be driving alone.”
I can’t help but feel my grandmother’s Old World values have a residual grasp on modern society — the notion that a woman’s role is in the private sphere, that she should not be out in public.
Often while walking the streets of Manhattan I’m subjected to stares that deem me guilty of a crime: guilty of walking with ovaries.
Mas…Women beware: You might be guilty of ‘walking with ovaries’
