It’s Not News to Us
This video comes directly from TrueReality.org so you know it’s right:
Irrefutable Evidence of ExtraTerrestrial Contact carved in Stone Thousands of Years ago on Pre-Mayans site. We shall finally change our History’s Books and let humanity knows our True Origins. The World is wakening up! Share the video with your parents and let everyone discuss it rationally and openly.
Part 2 below.
Mas…Share with your parents: UFO Mayan secrets, ancient aliens revealed
Seventy years ago, when Mexico joined the Allies (AKA the United Nations) to fight against Nazi Germany, the U.S. Office of Inter-American Affairs produced and released Mexican Moods praising our new BFF.
Sometimes shaky period color footage is matched by shaky period narration and musical production numbers as the film celebrates Mexico’s joining the United Nations, silver making in Taxco (right), modern Mexican airports, Aztec ruins and rituals and Mexican movie and stage stars like handsome young law-school-dropout/comic actor Cantinflas. The 11-minute video, produced and directed by Aldo Ermini, is right down here…
Mas…U.S. ♥ Mexico WWII propaganda film: ‘Mexican Moods’ (1942)
In one of the most bizarre episodes ever run on the super square Lawrence Welk TV variety show, the ensemble presents their feel-good version of Brewer & Shipleys’ One Toke Over the Line.
I know, right? What were they thinking? Why is the under-conductor coughing like he sparked a harsh nug? Is the band giggling in the background? Did Welk think it was some kind of gospel tune?
With love from LaChata: For 20 years, Aztlan Underground has presented an evolution of consciousness intertwined with pre-Colombian thoughts, feelings and sounds. In a search for the other — the unknown — Aztlan Underground gives birth to a visceral sound that challenges listeners.
Check out their new, visually-stunning music video Our Nature. It starts with indigenous drums, channels the apocalyptic opera of the Doors and celebrates the natural animal spirit that inhabits us all.
From the hidden vaults of the Mayan pyramids, two more videos below:
Mas…LaChata’s Music Box: Aztlan Underground’s newest video ‘Our Nature’
The meme started on a site called MetaFilter: If you are not paying for it, you’re not the customer; you’re the product being sold.
Facebook — free to use — sells you and your friends and your information to advertisers. So does Google and so does Yahoo! When POCHO grows up, we’ll sell your “page views” too — hopefully to multitudes of high-spending advertisers who are appropriate and cool tambien.
This week the online ad world was excited about the latest estimates of the “Latino” marketplace from Nielsen.
Our No Shit Sherlock™ quick summary:
Peep the surprising stats illustrated by purty graphs from the Nielsen survey:
Mas…We’re selling young, mobile pochos! Who’s buying? For how much?
Califas and Aztlan (from the hood to the pyramid at Teotihuacan) are the settings for the spectacular new music video Ciudad Celestial from homies El Vuh, assisted by Roco from Mexico’s City’s legendary band Maldita Vecindad. It’s all about the unidad.
He’s a sinner, but aren’t we all? Brothers and sisters, Padre Jesus’ Ministry has found Salvation in the Lord and the Padre wants to remind you that 1-800-JesusNeeds Money.
Easter got us thinking about The End. Will we make it past those pearly gates into heaven?
You could try to live your life by your religion’s standards, sure, but where’s the fun in that? Here are pocho ocho ways for a sinner like you to get past St. Peter:
8. Invest in a timeshare now
Hey, it works when you want to go to Palm Springs or Miami — why not heaven?
7. Make a shrine in your home burning 72 veladoras at any given time
It’s common knowledge that every candle you light is like another spiritual brownie point. So, logically, the more candles, the more likely you can get into heaven.
6. Name your son Jesús or your daughter Guadalupe
It has to be true — otherwise we wouldn’t all have uncles named Chuy or cousins named Lupe.
Mas…Pocho Ocho ways for a sinner like you to get into heaven
One night in February, POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz was waiting for the valet to retrieve his car outside a Mexican restaurant in Beverly Hills when a white lady repeatedly thrust her parking valet ticket in his direction.
Lalo was at the restaurant to speak on a panel for DigitalLA Latino Content professionals on the need for Latinos to create and control their own media content and channels because mainstream media stereotypes of Latinos are, you know, stereotypes.
And now that restaurant has abruptly closed. No more gigantic fresh three-way chips of blue corn, yucca and plantains with both salsa verde and salsa habanera. No more empanadas. No more $5 Happy Hour specials like ceviche shooters.
We don’t know why they closed (the website is all white.) It’s a shame — they were berry berry nice to us. In memoriam, here’s Lalo’s epic account of that evening. The headline?
Standing While Brown: A white lady tried to get me to valet her car
Mas…Beverly Hills Mexican restaurant where Lalo got profiled shuts down
It came in exactly this way via our handy SUBMIT form. (On the go? There’s a NSFW two-minute audio podcast version we created at the bottom of this article):
This is to every person who wants to get out and break free to be human and not be a fucking stereotype. I call it the Ghetto Manifesto. I was bred from a culture that lives in fear to succeed. We were once the Gods of the Temples- the living legends standing proud on the steps of Tenochtitlan- Now we are on our knees glorifying the filth around us. Our streets are filled with soldiers of ignorance and rage- fighting brother against brother- for what? A piece of land that we don't even own? For the love we did not receive at home? We call out names- spill our hateful rhetoric, beat each other to be let in to an exclusive group of clowns with silly names. Taking family trips in to unknown territories using hurtful toys to shed innocent blood. The family. What a fucking joke.
Mas…Letter to the Editor: The Ghetto Manifesto by Lady D (NSFW audio)
The Price Is Right game show and a public service announcement inspire the Hey Vato! couch potatoes Smiley (left, in the bandanna) and Chuy to reconsider their personal policies on spaying and neutering their pets, and, in a broader, more holistic sense, their life priorities. (NSFW language.)
Every day brings us closer to Mayan Doomsday — Mother Earth will not rest.
Terrified reports of strange, unearthly noises have moved from the Upper Midwest and Canada to the Southwest, scaring the crap out of people in Amarillo, TX and rural Rogers County, OK.
South of the border, Mexican authorities just raised the alert level at the Popocatepetl volcano outside Mexico City.
The Amarillo incident is on video shot by two DJs from KISS FM who ran out of the studio to capture the ghostly howl (below).
Mas…Video: Strange noises terrify TX and OK, Popocatepetl rumbling
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This Letter to the Editor came in via our SUBMIT link. We’d like to hear from you, too!
Dear organic chicken or chickens (or cocks and/or hens) who were the source of the two thighs I ate last night:
Thank you for your lives.
I guess it is presumptuous to write to you since we never met when you were alive and now you’re dead and I ate you. Actually, I don’t know really know WHO to thank since it’s unclear if these were a matched set of thighs (left and right) from a single chicken or whether they were two thighs from two chickens and now that I think about it I didn’t even check to see if they were left or right and how would I know?
Mas…Letter to the Editor: Thank you, organic cocks/hens as appropriate
(PNS reporting from the HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) The “Sleeping Mexican” statues of Tucson we featured last week snooze no more. Buoyed by the online support they received 
after POCHO publicized their plight, these hombres woke up, stood up, dressed up and went on tour across Los United Estates to tell their story.
From their early untold history — hanging out backstage with Frank Sinatra — to their recent appearances at the Academy Awards, the Mexican garden gnome hombres (AKA gnombres) are on the move, getting out the word and straight up representing! Look for them in a garden near you, or in the photos below.
Mas…Mexican garden statues get up, stand up and go on tour (photos)
When a French filmmaker shoots Chicano Tucson, the result is fascinating and maybe a little bit foreign — in a good way. Low y Cool documents the lives of the Camaradas Lowrider Bike Club in South Tucson, AZ in 1996. The 52-minute video was directed by Tucson resident and transplanted Frenchie Marianne Dissard with funding from French TV channel Planête Cable. The film has been seen regularly since 1997 on Planête.
Soul singer Donny Hathaway’s classic I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know comes alive in this club performance by “LA’s Best Latin Blues Band,” The Delgado Brothers. Smokin’ soulful stuff. If it take a little long to load, not to worry. It’s way worth it.
When you switch between Spanish and English, says comic Bill Santiago, it can sometimes be confusing if your eyes see one thing and your brain is thinking something else. Am I right, people? And don’t get me started on the email…
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz gets Migrant Editor Al Madrigal on Skype to talk about the art and death of Thomas Kinkade and the Pew Hispanic identity survey (Latino? Hispanic? Mexican?)
¡Ask A Mexican! Gustavo Arellano phones in to discuss his delicious new book Taco USA and producer Marcelo Ziperovich wonders if he’s a “white Hispanic” like you know who.
Oh! The laughs we had. Those were the days my friend, I thought they’d never end. Is this thing still on?
Arizona sure loves its Mexicans!
Taos-based author and photographer John Hamilton Farr went to Tucson on family business and was stunned by the “Sleeping Mexican” statues all around his mom’s old hood. He photographed these guys “within a two or three block radius of my mother’s old place…less than 10 minutes!”
He brought the statuary to the attention of official neighborhood Arizonians. Their reply? “What’s racist about that?”
People are asking the same question in San Antonio and Tucscon.
Nine big versions of Farr’s photos are below.
And can you answer the trick question: What’s racist about that?
Mas…Photos: ‘Sleeping Mexican’ garden statues? What’s racist about that?
The minute we heard the United States Air Force had planned and carried out Operation Chimichanga, we knew there had to be more to the story. Our Pentagon sources confirmed the hunch: The inspiration for the “chimichanga” code name was the way the Tex-Mex fried-burrito-belly-busters incapacitated unwary diners every time. The brass hats’ hope was that secret teams in state-of-the-art aircraft could make the enemy moan just like fajita-fed TGIFridays customers on Cinco de Mayo.
There is more to the story — the pocho ocho secret Pentagon operations still in the planning stages:
8. Operation Don’t Drink the Water: Secret “wetback” forces from the Navy SEALS sneak into enemy territory and dose the water with “pedo-biotic” agents bioengineered to cause widespread “Montezuma’s Revenge.” This is expected to cause pandemic personal distress, lessen the enemy’s fighting capability and reduce water pressure.
7. Operation Hot Tamale: Inspired by the guetherman’s motto of “cool today, hot tamale,” stealthy airborne drones seed enemy skies with specially-formulated lard and masa pellets that trap your fat, screw your cholesterol and clot your veins.
This has got to be the most wondrous film about a small Latino businessman ever made. Caine Monroy, a nine-year-old from East L.A., built his own DIY arcade out of cardboard boxes from his dad’s car parts store. He charges a dollar for two plays, but you really ought to get the Superpass, which is a good deal. He has designed security features with 99 Cent Store calculators, and an ingenious ticket delivery system that you have to see to believe. The excellent and funny short film is by Nirvan Mullick, who was Caine’s first and only customer — for a little bit, anyhow.
Watch the movie and warm your corazon!
Help Caine’s Scholarship Fund:
Caine’s Arcade online:
Hey Vato! stars “two puppet cholos who have discussions about everyday “hood” issues and question their ghetto instincts,” director Juan Rodriguez emails. In the first episode, the “struggle within” captures the boys’ attention. Chuy (on the left) is in the jersey and Smiley is wearing the Pendleton. Ralph Waldo Emerson is also involved. (NSFW language.)
If you’re a Latina, then you know the dirty little secret: body hair everywhere. Maybe you didn’t grow up with hairy arms or legs, but once you approached 30 or had children, the secret caught up with you.
Hair on your arms, hair on your legs, hairy eyebrows, chin hair, toe and foot hair, moustaches, sideburns, hair on your breasts, even a female version of the treasure trail! Aye!
I’ve seen the culture around Latina body hair traverse everything from shame to denial to indifference to pride (I’m looking at you Frida Kahlo.)
But for the rest of us not so lucky to look good in a moustache, this hair must be dealt with. Here are the top eight ways this can go down:
Le Smoké is celebrated for his ground-shaking declaration in 2006 that burgundy was the new red and periwinkle would not be considered blue. His list of do’s and don’t’s is always the highlight of the show.
Le Smoké, a 13-year Communications Sciences major at Unincorporated East Pocho City College and a 15-year veteran of the mean streets of Pocho Hills, a struggling suburb of Mission Pocho Viejo, uses the cutting edge of fashion rather than a prison shank to do his stabbing.
Mas…Spring cholo fashion tips from Le Smoké light up Montebello
In the future, Latinas like Sofia Vergara won’t be able to make fun of themselves on TV shows like SNL because it would be politically incorrect. Oh wait — that’s happening now!
Here’s a Philadelphia blogger’s unfocused anti-Sofia rant we find perplexing:
Mas…Dear Latinas: You are not allowed to make fun of yourselves
People you know, situations you recognize, stuff you resemble, calles you cruise, stories you live — they’re all here in De la Calle, the super Spanglish new alt.cumbia video from San Antonio band Bombasta.
The crew of the USS Chocstromo really should have seen this coming.
Yo what is up with all this Mayan Doomsday 2012 stuff? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video. Like check it:
Disinformation Company producer Gary Baddeley, director Nimrod Erez and the Disinformation team contacted and arranged interviews with multiple experts, often obtaining speedy access due to more than ten years of working with them or colleagues in their fields!
Mas…Disinformation Company: Doomsday 2012 Science or Superstition?
Don’t judge! She was young and she needed the money. Salma Hayek stars in a musical commercial for the now-defunct Mexican fast food chain BurgerBoy.
Tajo Abierto by Decertor. Festival Latir Latino, realizado en las calles de Miraflores, Lima 2012. In other words, OK, like in Peru? It was this Latino Beat Festival. Right, yeah. Lima, Peru. And this dude painted this massive other dude all sideways and stuff on a wall. OK and he like video’d it. Sweet.
Citing Malcom X, MLK and Michael Jackson, rapper Coldrank‘s Black Man explores, shall we say, discrepancies in society’s treatment of blacks killing blacks, blacks killing whites and whites killing blacks. And those that don’t learn from history, he reminds us, are doomed to repeat it. Directed by Joe Mexican.
Latina girls are the key to growth for the Girl Scouts, and the organization needs to shift culturally to accommodate these new scouts.
How do you bring in a new crop of Latina scouts? How about some new Merit Badges?
8. Touting Trenzas.
It may be India María style or Frida Kahlo style, but any good Latina needs to know how to work the hair art. Whether it be one braid or two, a French braid or any other variety.
7. Masa Mashing.
Scouts need to know how to mash masa around between their hands in a variety of ways. Masa mashing can be the cultural equivalent of chopping, the manner in which masa is mashed alluding to unspoken or subtle feelings, including: anger, happiness, interest, nervousness, etc.