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Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has ‘Gone Hollywood’

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pennelchapoEl Chapo’s secret meetup with Sean Penn was just the tip of the iceberg, Goldberg, whatever.

The notorious drug lord is a whole new vato now — and here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has “Gone Hollywood”:

8. He’s dating Kate Hudson

7. He’s on an all-cactus juice cleanse to drop weight for the upcoming pilot season

6. He just reached 200k followers on Instagram

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has ‘Gone Hollywood’

It’s time to elect our first woman President – Olive Oyl (video)

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olive3Popeye’s beloved, the willowly Olive Oyl, thinks the country would be much better off with a lady president — President Olive Oyl!

olive1Her platform includes housing the homeless, a shorter work week, sweet sexy dreams, more silkworms, more drumsticks per chicken, and nuking a recalcitrant Congress with love darts.

We agree!

Mas…It’s time to elect our first woman President – Olive Oyl (video)

Pocho Ocho top ways El Chapo could escape again

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elchapotunnelMexico has recaptured fugitive drug cartel jefe El Chapo Guzman –– who notoriously tunneled out of a high security prison last summer –- but the criminal mastermind isn’t done yet.

Sources tell our correspondents that Guzman’s narcotrafficante associates are already working on plans to bust the gangster out of his next cellblock; we’ve compiled this list of the Pocho Ocho Top Ways El Chapo Could Escape Again:

8. Trained bats

7. Incredible shrinking ray

6. Those gigantor worms from Tremors

Mas…Pocho Ocho top ways El Chapo could escape again

What happens when young deportees get sent back? (PBS video)

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Even before the recent MIGRA raids targeting families denied asylum, hundreds of thousands of undocumented Mexican immigrants have been deported annually. Many were kids when their parents brought them over the border.

And those who grew up in the U.S. have found themselves living in what feels like a foreign country — Mexico. It’s like a dream Los Otros Dreamers never imagined.

PBS News Hour Special Correspondent Fred de Sam Lazaro talked with some young people who are dealing with culture shock as they try to start over — strangers in a strange land.

What the past can teach immigrant advocates of today

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[POCHO amiga Nancy Landa aka Mundo Citizen was a DREAMer before it was cool. Brought to the U.S. as an undocumented child, she was elected student body president at Cal State Northridge. And then she got deported.]

In paying my respects to those who came before me and their struggle due to their legal status, I share an excerpt of this 1995 L.A. Times article featuring the first undocumented student body president of California State University, Northridge, Vladimir Cerna (1996-1997), about his life and advocacy efforts to fight the Donald Trumps of his time.

Mas…What the past can teach immigrant advocates of today

Hillary: I’m like your abuela! Twitter: #NoMames #NotMyAbuela

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hilllaryabuelaHillary Clinton’s campaign shared the “7 Ways Hillary Clinton Is Just Like Your Abuela” on her website Tuesday (photo), after daughter Chelsea announced that she was pregnant.

“[Hillary] isn’t afraid to talk about the importance of el respeto,” the site proclaimed, and “she knows what’s best.”

Also, we learned, “she reacts this way when people le faltan el respeto:”

Mas…Hillary: I’m like your abuela! Twitter: #NoMames #NotMyAbuela

Mexclusive: Mexican president wants to update the flag

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mexicanempireMexican President Enrique Peña Nieto is expected to propose a new flag (photo) to better reflect the “Mexico of today, tomorrow and the future,” PNS has learned.

“Snakes, eagles,” he told close associates at a meeting Thursday evening, “that was a long, long time ago, in a barrio far, far away.”

More on this story as it develops.

Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo, Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court. Don’t ask us, we just work here.
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