El Now
It’s News to Us!
Oaxaca woman finds face of Jesus on homemade tortilla (video)
“A woman in southern Mexico decided to use a tortilla she had just made for spiritual, rather than physical, food after seeing the face of Jesus Christ looking back at her,” reports the Daily Mail:
Enedina Mendoza and her family make tortillas in the small Oaxacan town of Tlalixtac de Cabrera, and the baker that she [said] normally doesn’t even look at her creations.
However, instead of sending one tortilla off to become a blessed burrito, Mendoza took another glance and recognized the son of God.
Mas…Oaxaca woman finds face of Jesus on homemade tortilla (video)
Area kids have the sad because where is the Paletero Man?
(PNS reporting from EL PASO) The Montezuma Street kids met Tuesday evening, at “their tree,” the oak next to Mrs. Moreno’s house.
It was still light out on the longest day of the year, and they could have kept on bike riding, but they needed an answer, and they needed it quick.
Where, everyone wanted to know, was the Paletero Man?
Mas…Area kids have the sad because where is the Paletero Man?
L.A. woman eats 53 habanero chiles in 20 minutes (video)
Teresa de Jesus Sandoval was named the champion at the Father’s Day habanero chile eating contest at Chichenitza in Downtown L.A. after scarfing down 53 of the the scorching peppers in 20 minutes.
PREVIOUSLY ON CHILES:
Mas…L.A. woman eats 53 habanero chiles in 20 minutes (video)
Pocho Ocho things Donald Trump wants you to know about Mexicans
Because he wants to make America great again, GOP presidential nominee wannabe Donald Trump shared some nasty knowledge about Mexican immigrants when he announced his candidacy Tuesday (video).
They’re rapists, he said, and bring crime and drugs.
But that’s not all! Here are are Pocho Ocho top things Donald Trump also wants you to know about Mexicans:
8. If you rub a Mexican’s tummy just the right way, they’ll wiggle they brown little arms and legs and say “Squee squee squee” but in Mexican of course.
7. Mexican show business is infested with thesbians.
6. Mexicans are so crazy lazy they will take your job.
Mas…Pocho Ocho things Donald Trump wants you to know about Mexicans
@AlMadrigal reports: Campaign 2016 begins in Iowa (video)
As the 2016 presidential election campaign starts up, all eyes turn to Iowa, traditionally the first place Americans get a chance to vote for their candidates. Jon Stewart and The Daily Show sent POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal to the Hawkeye State to find out why exactly Iowa rates this singular honor.
Mas…@AlMadrigal reports: Campaign 2016 begins in Iowa (video)
D.A.R.E.’s Daren the Lion mascot quits, moves to Colorado
(PNS reporting from MILWAUKEE) Local cat made good Daren the Lion, long-time spokescritter for the D.A.R.E. anti-drug education program, has resigned and moved to Colorado, PNS learned Monday.
“He’s fallen off the catnip wagon,” one area family member told PNS. “He’s all about the ‘flowers’ now.”
Mas…D.A.R.E.’s Daren the Lion mascot quits, moves to Colorado
Gustavo Arellano to UC Riverside grads: ‘You are secular saints’
Saturday morning, I had the honor of giving the commencement speech at UC Riverside’s College of Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences for their Sociology, Philosophy, Neuroscience, and Psychology students (what a mouthful!).
Following are my prepared remarks, which I mostly hewed to. I did begin my speech with an explanation of what ustedes and y’all meant, and the pocos pero locos line was improvised and laughed at by about three people.
Anyhoo, enjoy!
Let’s start with an experiment, shall we?
I want all the psychology majors to stand up? Applaud them, por favor, for getting to this special day.
Mas…Gustavo Arellano to UC Riverside grads: ‘You are secular saints’
Abuela with iPad terrorizes area family via Facebook
(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Rigoberto “Rigo” Chavez, 15, cringed in horror when he logged into Facebook Thursday morning and received a notification that his abuelita had once again commented on his status.
The high school junior had posted a status that read “$waaaag$” and Abuelita replied in ALL CAPS:
CACHORRITO ERES LA LUZ DE MI VIDA. CUIDATE MUCHO TE QUIERO
Californian @AlMadrigal is all about the H20 on Jon Stewart (video)
POCHO’s Migrant Editor Al Madrigal – who lives in Los Angeles – had to make lifestyle changes because of the California water shortage. In New York, where there’s more than enough H20 to go around, Al can let it all hang out, as he explained to Jon Stewart on The Daily Show.
PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNIA DROUGHT:
Mas…Californian @AlMadrigal is all about the H20 on Jon Stewart (video)
Guadalajara kids dance with swastikas. No prob, OK? (video)
What exactly is going on here? Sure, the swastika is/was an ancient symbol of good luck that has been tarnished by the slaughter of untold millions, but wassup with the Nazi-rally-sounding soundtrack? And the flags? And the stormtrooper choreography? The uploader says this video is from May 31 in Guadalajara, Mexico. It doesn’t seem very indigenous folkloristic to us. It’s more like Springtime for Hitler in Mexico.
Mas…Guadalajara kids dance with swastikas. No prob, OK? (video)
Coming Soon: Attack of the 14-Year-Old Black Girl!
Coming soon from McKinney, Texas Police Productions, it’s the next summer horror science fiction cop flick, Attack of the 14-Year-Old Black Girl!
A frightening teen girl in a bikini terrorizes the police force of a small Texas suburb, making them respond with excessive force and brutality reserved only for the worst of America’s swimming thugs!
Who will protect our nation’s pool parties from this monster? Rated R for Racist!
Featuring Emma Stone as the Asian Neighbor.
Food blogger La Quirky discovers the joys of Mexican mangos (video)
La Quirky Nancy discovers mangos in East LA and lives to tell about it. #laQuirky #Columbusing
PREVIOUSLY ON DISCOVERING MEXICAN MANGOS:
Quirky food video blogger katie q discovered this totally delicious new healthy food treat LOL OMG. Latino-style people eat this all the time, I’m so sure! It’s a fruit they call a “mango” and they squeeze lime juice on it and add hot sauce, just like you put mousse on your hair when you go out clubbing. Srsly, is this quirky or what?
Mas…Food blogger La Quirky discovers the joys of Mexican mangos (video)
Local girl crumbles under stress of learning cousins’ names
(PNS reporting from EL MONTE) The pressure was too much for Marisol Cruz, a fourth grader at Fernando Valenzuela Elementary, who collapsed on the playground Friday afternoon.
Friends said Marisol was a total stressball since her mother told her to memorize all of her cousins’ names before her upcoming primera comunión fiesta.
“I have like 80 cousins!” the Penn Mar Avenue resident told PNS after she had calmed down and accepted a bag of Takis as an incentive to talk.
“It’s not my fault Mama and Papa have like 20 brothers and sisters each! I just can’t remember them all. Call me ‘Mari’ by the way.”
Mari listed the names:
Mas…Local girl crumbles under stress of learning cousins’ names
Webcam spots UFOs/OVNIs over Colima volcano (video)
Mexico’s Colima volcano is erupting again, and the spectacular explosions attracted the attention of our Space Brothers, whose recent visits were captured by the 24/7 webcams pointed at the magic mountain.
BREAKING: Chipotle burrito confuses elderly Mexican man
(PNS reporting from SACRAMENTO) Felipe Alvarez, 67, bit his tongue Tuesday afternoon.
The North Sacramento resident bit his tongue when his godson Tommy Alvarez (no relation) handed him a gold-foil-wrapped burrito from the trendy Chipotle Mexican Grill on Truxel Road. The metal-wrapped mystery meal, however, never made it to his mouth.
Don Felipe (photo) could not quite bring himself to bite the “burrito.”
“Que tiene adentro?” he asked Tommy, afraid of the answer.
A California resident for 20 years, Felipe was accustomed to the so-called “California burrito” – refried beans, “Spanish” rice, processed cheese, some wicked salsa, and maybe even French fries. “I’m a modern man y bastante liberal,” he told PNS.
The aroma of this burrito, however, was entirely unfamiliar.
