It’s News to Us!
Al Madrigal (Señor Latino Correspondent on The Daily Show with Juan Estuard on basic cable and POCHO Migrant Editor on the Interwebs)* is the fox guarding the Louisiana henhouse in this exposé of the state’s cock-fighting and chicken-boxing rackets. That Al is as smart as a chicken.
PREVIOUSLY ON AL MADRIGAL:
Mas…Al Madrigal ruffles feathers in ‘Chicken Boxing’ exposé (video)
Inspired by L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti’s L.A Kings F-bomb on live TV, on-the-air sports presenters in Ireland dropped the bomb during halftime of Tuesday’s Mexico-Brazil match. [NSFW adult language if someone there at your job can understand the thick Irish brogues. It’s more like “fookin” or something.]
Maybe you didn’t see the San Antonio Spurs smoke the Miami Heat 104-87 for the NBA crown Sunday night, or maybe you want to relive the glory. Those wacky Taiwanese animators at TomoNews are here to help.
Meanwhile in San Antonio (NSFW video):
PREVIOUSLY ON SAN ANTONIO:
Foreigner John Oliver (formerly of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and currently fronting Last Week Tonight) has been through the immigration system, and he has some advice for the GOP. (NSFW language.)
Transportation Security Adminstration officers at Los Angeles International Airport stopped and questioned POCHO Music Editor La Chata Monday afternoon, allegedly because of a suspicious substance in her handbag (photo.)
Her Facebook status explains:
Mas…TSA at LAX stops POCHO editor for ‘red powder’ in purse (photos)
(PNS reporting From NEW YORK CITY) The Jumbotron in Times Square in New Jack City flashes news of a g o o o o a l by USMNT forward Herculez Gomez in World Cup competition against Ghana and Manhattan passersby react as only New Yorkers can.
From the Eastside to the Westside, POCHO loves L.A.You can sing along with losing NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio and Randy Newman – even before the Jimmy Kimmel show – with this handy video:
Mas…NY loser Mayor de Blasio sings ‘I Love L.A.’ and we do too (music video)
A colorful OVNI/UFO buzzed the beachfront promenade in the northern Chilean city of La Serena and was recorded by a group of young people late last month.
The video was recorded at the La Serena beachfront promenade La Avenida del Mar, a location popular with tourists. As Chilean news site El Observatodo describes, the UFO video shows a small yellow light moving in the sky at different speeds and quickly changing altitude. And, according to UFO Digest, one of the witnesses can be heard in the video stating that the UFO lands in an empty lot on the beach before ascending again.
Mas…What is it? Multicolored UFO/OVNI buzzes beach in Chile (video)
Antonio Vazquez Alba, popularly known as the the Grand Warlock of Mexico, is working his magic on the World Cup, cursing opposing teams and clearing the way for a victory by Mexico. El Brujo Mayor’s track record in influencing and predicting world events is unsurpassed; he famously predicted President Obama would not be reelected to a second term.
Attention assorted Latinos and gringos: Are you stuck in Buenos Aires far away from home when you’d rather be watching the World Cup with your amigos? Come on down to La Fábrica del Taco (LFDT) at either Gorriti 5062 Palermo or Baez 246 Cañitas for comida, cerveza and futbol! Maybe you’ll miss home a little less. [“La Fábrica del Taco,” they write on their SoundCloud page, “es una taqueria bien chingona en Buenos Aires, Argentina. La única y autentica taqueria al sur de la frontera. Invitamos a todos los melo.”]
Does your Argentinan taqueria have a SoundCloud page? The Taco Factory does:
Mas…Latinos y gringos in Buenos Aires? Eat tacos, watch futbol here (video)
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Texas Governor Rick Perry was “outraged” after seeing leaked photos of crowded child detainees at the U.S. Border Patrol Detention center in Brownsville, PNS has learned.
“The kind of sloppy detention seen in those photos is a clear waste of space as well as taxpayer dollars,” Perry said in an email sent to aides Monday night.
Perry thinks the centers could squeeze in more detainees using the “tight pack” system long advocated by GOP lobbyist John E. Rebb.
Mas…Texas Governor Perry ‘outraged’ at deportation center photos
The Association of Prostitutes of Minas Gerais is teaching English to sex workers to help them deal with foreign customers. The state will host a match between Costa Rica and England and expects horny hordes of visiting futbol fans. Monday’s class, run by Igor Fuchs, was the last before today’s formal start of the games in Sao Paolo. [NSFW adult language and images.]
Along with normal conversational vocabulary, the students also learn words which might be used during encounters with clients. Sex work has been legal in Brazil since the year 2000.
Ex-Daily Show contributor John Oliver (Last Week Tonight on HBO) has some excellent World Cup coverage, too:
Mas…Brazil sex workers learn English to prep for World Cup (NSFW video)
Two summers ago, MR. POCHO’s European vacation took him to Gay Paree, where he snapped this selfie on the Love Locks Bridge [click to enlarge.] Those were the best of times, he told friends.
Now, he feels, the worst of times are upon us.
Agence France-Presse has the sad news:
Mas…MR. POCHO has the sad – Paris ‘Love Locks’ bridge evacuated
Jesus “Chucho” Perales, a founding member and guitarist with Mando & the Chili Peppers, a band considered to be among the very first of the Chicano rock ‘n’ rollers in the mid-1950s, died Sunday. He was 78.
The Chili Peppers were the first Mexican-American group to appear on American Bandstand. The group toured the country, played Las Vegas and performed with Ritchie Valens, the Champs and Duane Eddy. The band’s album, On the Road with Rock N Roll, recorded in 1958, is a collector’s item.
He received his first guitar, a Gene Autry model, when he was 8 from Alfred Flores Sr., owner of Alamo Music. By 14, Perales was playing rough joints with pioneering conjunto musician Valerio Longoria.
Jesus “Chucho” Perales was born on Christmas Day 1935.
Mas…RIP Jesus ‘Chucho’ Perales, Chicano rock pioneer (video)
My mom, María de Jesús Alcaraz de López (or “Chuy,” as most of the Alcaraz family called her) was born in 1929 in Villa Union, Mexico, in the fertile Sinaloa land outside of Mazatlán.
She grew up as the youngest sister of five: Maria Luisa, Cany, Juanita and Esther. Their father, Inocencio, a ranchero, died young and left his widow Cirila and the five girls to farm their land.
My mom once described her father as having blue eyes and an extremely bald head. She told me about how he once had severely whipped a man who had injured her with his horse. Oh, the idyllic ranchero lifestyle….
(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Cheesy burrito fans and hashtag activists, your prayers have been answered! Taco Bell will debut a new menu item Monday – the Verso-Quesarito-Burrito, a burrito wrapped in a quesadilla with Mexican poetry written on the tortilla.
The VQB is a ground “beef” burrito with rice, chipotle sauce and reduced-fat sour cream in a grilled quesadilla full of melted American cheese.
You can also order the quesadilla-burrito hybrid with shredded chicken or steak. As an added bonus, the Verso-Quesarito-Burrito will feature poems written on the tortilla by Mexican day laborers. They’ll be versifying using only gluten-free ink, of course (photo.)
Mas…Taco Bell plans poetry-grilled ‘Verso-Quesarito-Burrito’
(PNS reporting from NORMAL, ILL) Demographers at Pocho Asian American Policy Institute (PAAPI) here have just released a new map detailing the most common Asian languages spoken in the U.S., broken out on a state by state basis, in English and Spanish. [Click on image to enlarge.]
Mas…Breaking Ñews: Map shows common Asian languages by state
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Cesar Chavez — noted American farm worker, labor leader and civil rights activist — is back from the dead and running for the congressional seat being vacated by retiring Rep. Ed Pastor (D-AZ).
“I will do just about anything to win in Arizona’s heavily Hispanic 7th Congressional District,” Chavez said in a press release, “including rising from the grave if that’s what it takes.”
A Chavez spokesman said the newly-registered Democratic candidate (until recently a two-time Republican loser) had been “flooded with calls” and was no longer speaking to the press, but if he did decide to answer questions, he would not discuss how he came back from the dead or what the afterlife is like.
Mas…Back from the dead and running for Congress, it’s Cesar Chavez!
(PNS reporting from CHIAPAS, MX) Subcommandante Marcos, leader of the Zapatista rebels (EZLN) in southern Mexico, has announced that he is leaving the group’s leadership.
He said he no longer spoke on behalf of EZLN but will instead focus on his restaurant empire in Chicago.
As POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano noted Friday, Chipotle Mexican Grill pulled a boner when it decided to put short stories from ten famous authors on its cups and bags but couldn’t find one Latino with words worthy enough to wrap its burritos.
There’s now a Facebook book group organizing around this issue and the Pochodores have been brainstorming inspirational packaging ideas as well.
First off all, short stories? Srsly? TL;DR, amiright?
Here are the Pocho Ocho more upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used:
8. There’s a reason you separate the military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people. (Commander William Adama.)
7. Repression….Recession. It’s all the same thing, man. (Cheech Marin.)
6. In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face some day. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo. (Lucky Day.)
Mas…Pocho Ocho upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used
The wreck of slave-trader and hopelessly-lost “explorer” Christopher Columbus’ Santa Maria flagship has been found off the coast of Haiti, according to reports.
The ship’s five-century-old cannon was looted but archaeologists are excited by eight unusual items they were able to retrieve from the ship, the Pocho Ocho weirdest items found on the Santa Maria:
8. Antique syphilis specially imported into the Western Hemisphere by his crew
7. The most extensive collection of 15th-century porn ever found outside the Vatican Library
6. A Ferdinand and Isabella “after sex selfie” oil painting
Mas…Pocho Ocho weirdest things found in Columbus’ Santa Maria shipwreck
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) A close look at a recent C-SPAN video reveals that Florida Democratic Congressman Joe Garcia, Jr. picked his ear wax and ate it on live TV, a Cuban folkloric ritual rarely seen outside Miami’s Cuban-American community.
“La Ceremonia de la Cera del Oído can be traced to a curandero who lived in Guantanamera, Cuba around 1750 or so,” University of Miami Professor of Anthropology Freso “Biff” del Blanco told PNS.
“By eating the ear wax in public, the eater hopes to symbolically ingest and consume all that he is hearing through his ears, to better understand the cacophony of voices in his head.”
Mas…Why Rep. Joe Garcia (D-Miami) picked his ear wax, ate it on TV (video)
